#1
Hey all, need some help here. I needed to write an article on the 1953 coup in Iran for our school newspaper for some extra credit. One page long, double spaced, and I can't do anymore than that, which is a pain.

Any critiques would be appreciated. It's not even that large of a wall. I single spaced it for you.

In 1953, the United States Central Intelligence Agency, or CIA, carried out it’s first successful overthrow of a foreign government, Iran being it’s target. The Prime Minister of Iran at that time, Mohammad Mosaddeq, was taking back control of the oil wells in Iran that were owned by the British. After taking back control of said oil wells, Mosaddeq proceeded to force the British out of Iran. Needless to say, the British did not take kindly to this, and approached the CIA with a plan for a join operation to oust the nettlesome prime minister. At first, we did not even plan on considering the proposal. However, fears arose of Iran falling under the sway of the Soviet Union, thus resulting in the United States participating in the coup. Allen W. Dulles, the director of central intelligence, approved $1 million on April 4th, 1953 to be used “in any that would help bring about the fall of Mosaddeq.” The aim of this entire operation was to bring to power a government which would reach an equitable oil settlement, allowing the country to become economically sound and financially solvent, and which would vigorously prosecute the strong Communist Party. Within days, agency officials selected General Fazlollah Zahedi as the man to spearhead the coup. The former CIA agent who spoke at our school wistfully recounted the months of careful planning, and how jubilant him and his fellow operatives were when the coup succeeded. Now although the coup had succeeded, it had made the United States extremely unpopular in Iran. Today in Iran, America is resented by the majority of the population. We must ask ourselves, were we right in doing this? Will we be able to be allies with Iran ever again?

Sorry for no paragraphs, editor said no.
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#3
Quote by Wulphy

In 1953, the United States Central Intelligence Agency, or CIA, carried out it’s first successful overthrow of a foreign government, Iran being it’s target. The Prime Minister of Iran at that time, Mohammad Mosaddeq, was taking back control of the oil wells in Iran that were owned by the British. After taking back control of said oil wells, (Repetitious) Mosaddeq proceeded to force the British out of Iran. Needless to say, the British did not take kindly to this, and approached the CIA (wasting space, I'd just change it to "The Bristish approached the CIA...") with a plan for a join operation to oust the nettlesome prime minister. At first, we did not even plan on considering the proposal. However, fears arose of Iran falling under the sway of the Soviet Union, thus resulting in the United States participating in the coup. Allen W. Dulles, the director of central intelligence,(Capitalize) approved $1 million on April 4th, 1953 to be used “in any (way) that would help bring about the fall of Mosaddeq.” The aim of this entire operation (straight out of a movie, makes you sound like an undeveloped writer) was to bring to power a government which would reach an equitable oil settlement, allowing the country to become economically sound and financially solvent, and which would vigorously prosecute the strong Communist Party. Within days, agency officials selected General Fazlollah Zahedi as the man to spearhead the coup. The former CIA agent who spoke at our school wistfully recounted the months of careful planning, and how jubilant him (he*)and his fellow operatives were when the coup succeeded. (deleted "now") Although the coup had succeeded, it had made the United States extremely unpopular in Iran. Today in Iran, America is resented by the majority of the population. We must ask ourselves, were we right in doing this? Will we be able to be allies with Iran ever again?

Sorry for no paragraphs, editor said no.


Reasonably well composed, just some minor errors.

That was fun, I feel like an English teacher!
We're only strays.
Last edited by Martyr's Prayer at Feb 25, 2009,
#4
Quote by UncleCthulhu
Editor said no to basic grammar? Fail.


Not enough space in the newspaper.

EDIT:

Quote by Martyr's Prayer
Reasonably well composed, just some minor errors.

That was fun, I feel like an English teacher!


Thanks man, appreciate it!
Quote by Ur all $h1t
I stick stuff in my pee hole.

Gear:

Schecter C-1 Classic
Ibanez S670PB
Stratocaster MIM Standard
Marshall MG30 (its purple )
Dunlop Crybaby Wah
#5
lrn2grammar
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#6
Quote by Strato-Massacre
lrn2grammar


Yeah, that's extremely helpful. GTFO.
Quote by Ur all $h1t
I stick stuff in my pee hole.

Gear:

Schecter C-1 Classic
Ibanez S670PB
Stratocaster MIM Standard
Marshall MG30 (its purple )
Dunlop Crybaby Wah
#7
Quote by Wulphy
Yeah, that's extremely helpful. GTFO.

somebody else already gave examples. youre welcome
Tampa Bay Buccaneers

South Carolina Gamecocks

Quote by SGstriker
Chef Strato-Massacre: Cooking shitstorms since that comment.

Quote by PurpleClawz
Damnit why are you full of so much win
#8
Quote by Strato-Massacre
somebody else already gave examples. youre welcome


Right, so if someone else helps me, you should come in and be a prick? Only in the pit.
Quote by Ur all $h1t
I stick stuff in my pee hole.

Gear:

Schecter C-1 Classic
Ibanez S670PB
Stratocaster MIM Standard
Marshall MG30 (its purple )
Dunlop Crybaby Wah
#9
Quote by Wulphy
Right, so if someone else helps me, you should come in and be a prick? Only in the pit.

eh, you get what you ask for in the pit
Tampa Bay Buccaneers

South Carolina Gamecocks

Quote by SGstriker
Chef Strato-Massacre: Cooking shitstorms since that comment.

Quote by PurpleClawz
Damnit why are you full of so much win