#1
Just something i wrote in bed last night...typed it into my phone
Put music today....its quite a smiths-esque song now
have a read and let me know what you think

Our Graham
Our Graham, works for the royal mail
Delivering debts to those who fail to pay 'em

A deep sense of betrayal hangs over his frail
body in the evening

Still somebody's got to do it
Oh somebody's got to do it for the lads
for the lads

oh how he loved to sail
oh dear graham
he really loved to sail

But when touched upon by an untold fame
no one told of what the fame entailed

(Chorus)
Oh come back from the edge and live a little more with me
oh son it's not that I despise you
I just really cannot bear your company

Oh poor graham, tells tales
he tells such bloody awful tales
And when our graham regails
you'd better run for yer lives

But did rain ever feel so cold
And was a pain like his ever fortold

no i don't think so

(Chorus)


Cheers
#2
Waaaaayyyy to much rhyming with 'ale/ail'. Seriously, give that a rest, by the end of the song, every word ending with 'ail' make me cringe.