#1
c4c

So Hard (To Love You)

Why do you have to say
all the stupid shit you do?
Why do you make it so goddamn hard to love,
when that’s all I want from you?
Why must I always feel like the villain,
when I’m trying so hard to do what’s right?
And why must I be plagued with pain each and every night
while you sleep so soundly?

But I never doubted how I feel
no matter how hard it gets,
I know there’ll be a light at the end of the tunnel,
a warm embrace and a lingering kiss.
But why must it be so hard to love you?
Why must it be so hard?

Why do you have to say
all those things to your friends about me?
Why must I be the butt of every fucking joke?
Why does it feel like every time I hurt you
You’re just drifting away?
When I’m trying so hard to make you stay.

chorus

But in the quiet, all is right,
and in my arms I hold you tight,
and softly kiss your neck and listen to you breathing
You say I love you and I believe you,
though I know that soon again
you will be saying all those things about me,
I know you joke but God sometimes...

chorus

EDIT: Song is up in profile if anyone is interested
Last edited by kdownes at Feb 27, 2009,
#2
c4c

So Hard (To Love You)

Why do you have to say
all the stupid shit you do?
Why do you make it so goddamn hard to love,
when that’s all I want to do?
Meh, I didn't like the rhyme of "do" with "do" at all. Generally, I rarely like rhyming in songs, but we'll see how this goes!
Why must I always feel like the villain,
when I’m trying so hard to do what’s right?
And why must I be plagued with pain
while you sleep so easily at night?
This was decent as part of a song, but I feel the flow is partly off? Although I don't really know, since it depends on how you sing it, but that's just a thought. So far it's okay.

But I never doubted how I feel
no matter how hard it gets,
I know there’ll be a light at the end of the tunnel,
"light at the end of the tunnel" is horribly cliche. I didn't like it at all.
a warm embrace and a lingering kiss.
But why must it be so hard to love you?
Why must it be so hard?
Other than the one line, though, the rest of the stanza was pretty decent. I particularly liked the fourth line.

Why do you have to say
all those things to your friends about me?
Why must I be the butt of every fucking joke?
Swearing in songs rarely gives it any emphasis, and jus makes it funny and un-serious. Unless you're 100% sure it works, I'd get rid of it.
Why does it feel like every time I hurt you
You’re just drifting away?
When I’m trying so hard to make you stay.
The last three lines were decent.]

chorus

But in the quiet, all is right,
and in my arms I hold you tight,
and softly kiss your neck and listen to you breathing
You say I love you and I believe you,
though I know that soon again
you will be saying all those things about me,
I know you joke but God sometimes...
This was okay. I'd try to make this stanza (and the rest of the song, for that matter) more poetic. At the moment you're telling your audience what's happening, and telling them how you're feeling and therefore how they should feel. I think that the whole song would generally work better if you added more imagery and nicer vocabulary and left it open to interpretation - that way, it's far more decent. But, as a first draft, this really isn't bad at all!

chorus

C4C?

https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?p=18757715#post18757715

#3
I gotta agree with michal23 the whole swearing part seemed really out of place in the song it just doesnt add at all to the song, so i'd prolly rethink those. A lot of good imagery in the song tho and for the most part i really liked it. The flow seemed a lil off in certain spots like in the first verse "Why do you have to say all the stupid **** you do? Why do you make it so goddamn hard to love, when that’s all I want to do?". The words just dont seem to flow that well i dont mind that your rhyming the same two words but maybe u should try it as
"Why do you have to say
all the stupid **** you do?
Why do you always make it so hard to love,
when that’s all that I ever wanted to do?"
or another alternative
"Why do you have to say
all the stupid **** you do?
Why do you make it so hard to love,
when that’s all I want to do?"
Those just seem a little more flowing but overall i liked the lyrics and put on top of some good instrumentals could make a pretty decent song.

C4C
https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1075519
#5
First impressions - read it once, and I'm indifferent. I'm kind of thinking that it could be something similar to that piece you posted a few weeks ago that I didn't click with. Or, it could just be plain, straight forward emotions said in a plain, straight forward manner. That insecurity and intrigue makes me want to come back - which I will do!
#7
The tone remains consistent and has a point, but it just doesn't make for interesting or impactful reading. It's too similar to your previous pieces, in my opinion. Soz.
#8
That's why I find writing about people abstractly is much more effective than literally. Girlfriends **** up the music, man.
Originally posted by Anghellic
Doing something metal just because its metal is so un-metal..