aceral1715
Registered User
Join date: Mar 2007
527 IQ
#1
This is a song that i composed over a week and ive been tweaking it since. The solo has been rewritten twice but the current solo is the only one i spent a decent amount of time on. Criticism is welcome and, like the title says, C4C so just leave the link


NEWEST UPDATE POSTED HERE
Attachments:
My Apocalypse.zip
Last edited by aceral1715 at Mar 18, 2009,
MaidenPriest666
Registered User
Join date: Oct 2006
536 IQ
#2
through the whole song i definatly could imagine the vox.
are they clean or extreme vox?

one thing that would add variety would be to add a key change on the last chorus, you know how theres two choruses at the end? the second one , maybe move two frets down maybe.


crit 4 crit

https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1077047
whalepudding
UG Lovely Member
Join date: Aug 2005
954 IQ
#6
You know there's already at least two fairly well known songs with the same name?
I'LL PUNCH A DONKEY IN THE STREETS OF GALWAY
Last edited by whalepudding at Feb 27, 2009,
aceral1715
Registered User
Join date: Mar 2007
527 IQ
#7
Quote by whalepudding
You know there's already at least two fairly well known songs with the same name?


Yeah, but it just seemed like such a good name that i couldn't resist :P
lordofthefood1
A blank survey
Join date: Mar 2007
1,710 IQ
#8
Not much of a crit as the other, but I think this song sounds a lot better in 1.5 time (minus the intro, acoustic verse, and solo). That just goes back to my roots though. As for it in its standard time, it seems a bit dragging on. Again, nice use of the tones, especially for the solo guitar. I didn't really like this solo as much as the other, but some good moments are when the notes kind of ring out a bit while its going down the neck.
Lord Gold feeds from your orifices and he wants to see you sweat.
Lord Gold probes you publicly and makes your pussy wet.
Now say his name.....
liam1107
Registered User
Join date: Mar 2007
464 IQ
#9
very very very good song, i like this a lot, and might i add that the drums are the best ive heard on guitar pro
the only minor crit i can give is that its maybe a bit too samey, like the mood doesnt change, but to be honest i think that would take away from the song if you did decide to incorporate it.
well done
DaddyTwoFoot
Barned
Join date: Oct 2004
338 IQ
#10
I don't think you should keep the name, considering that Metallica (literally the most popular metal band in history, in case you've forgotten) just released a song with the same title a few months ago.
Quote by dudetheman
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Metalheads are the worst thing that ever happened to metal.
randomthought9
Registered User
Join date: Jun 2006
970 IQ
#11
i like the lead riff in the intro. the interlude chord progression's not bad. i like the verse vocals, but that and the guitar do repeat a little much. i'd like to hear some variation. the chorus vocals are good, i like them. haha really high though. the acoustic that comes in on bar 55 is a very nice change of pace. i liked it much better then the distorted guitar in the verses. the distorted guitar does get a bit stale with all the powerchords. i enjoyed the guitar solo, it definitely helped the song. but you should have added something on the second chorus to end on. it needs a little extra, especially to end on. maybe add another guitar part, a lead one maybe? or harmonize the vocals/add a melody?

it's not a bad tune, but it is a little cliche. we've all heard this kind of stuff, not trying to be mean, just honest. but not bad at all though.

c4c? my music is in my profile and sig.
aceral1715
Registered User
Join date: Mar 2007
527 IQ
#12
UPDATE

I made a couple of small changes to the solo which you won't really notice that much. But mainly I added some lead riffing over the last chorus to raise its energy as lots of people suggested. Hope you guys like it


EDIT: Newer update a few more posts down
Last edited by aceral1715 at Mar 6, 2009,
Butt Rayge
UG Resident
Join date: Jan 2009
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#13
To be perfectly honest, i found the whole thing pretty average. The intro was decent, the interlude was boring and the verse was boring. The chorus was pretty good, i'd like to hear the singing, as i quite liked the vocal melody. The solo section was defenitely the high point.

Structurally, however, the whole piece was very sound and it flowed nicely.

C4C Blackened Thrash in my sig?
Uber Man
I <3 Four Strings
Join date: Sep 2008
1,022 IQ
#14
sounds epic with RSE, intro was neat too.
Skillet_Panhead
UG's #1 Panhead
Join date: Mar 2008
701 IQ
#15
Wow, I must say I really enjoyed that. The intro was cool, but the electric guitar part seemed repetitive once you got to Intro 2. I'd suggest making small changes to both electric guitars once Intro 2 comes up, just to keep things interesting. Because honestly, when I saw that Intro 2 heading come up, I thought the electric guitars were going to change AT LEAST a little bit.

The rest of the song was great. The verse riff was pretty cool (especially the acoustic verse), and the solo was fantastic. I really liked it. Drums in the verse were cool as well.

c4c? thanks. --SP
https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?p=18916943#post18916943
aceral1715
Registered User
Join date: Mar 2007
527 IQ
#16
UPDATED again

The intro has been changed, but just by changing a section of it by an octave but it seems to work. The second verse has also been changed on the guitars to spice things up

enjoy it

ANOTHER UPDATE A FEW MORE POSTS DOWN(possibly next page)
Last edited by aceral1715 at Mar 10, 2009,
JSSynister
The Tear Baron
Join date: Oct 2007
111 IQ
#17
nice guitar driven song. I like it for what it is, but for me its a little boring in parts. Very nice solo, that and the drums overall stood out for me as the best parts. The acoustic verse is a good touch, I think it could sound really good having two acoustics playing slightly different lines.

8/10 A solid piece of work, something I would probably listen to again, but with no real wow factor (for me anyway).

C4C - https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1081916
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rhoadsfan92
Registered User
Join date: Aug 2008
155 IQ
#18
bro the song sounds awesome. got an mp3 with actual vocs?
you know, ive owned 8 different guitars over my lifetime, and right now i have 3. i wanna know what the hell happened...i mean the picks and cables are understandable, they disappear into thin air all the time, but guitars?

B00bs
Registered User
Join date: Sep 2006
231 IQ
#19
Very nice harmony on the intro.

I really like the next riff and lead, great texture.

Holy ****in solo batman! Very nice.

Great work throught out this piece. I loved it, I would probably listen to it regularily. Very nice, how much? 9.5/10

If you have time could you look at "The End" in my sig.
aceral1715
Registered User
Join date: Mar 2007
527 IQ
#21
thanks for all the crit everybody. Sorry guys, but i dont have a recording of this yet. My old band broke up a few months back cuz some guys left the country and the rest were being idiots. But ill try and get this done as soon as i can
guitar ben94
plays guitar.
Join date: Mar 2009
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#22
Awesome song man. I thought it sounded great. Would love to hear a band playing this!
henkka_potku
Frank Zappa of metal
Join date: May 2006
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#23
It was a good composition but not my cup of tea
I live near Lake Bodom WORSHIP MEEEEEEE

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LOL, for some reason the impression I get from you is like some wacky Frank Zappa of metal pulling pranks at the Grammys and telling crude jokes during interviews.
semitone36
Registered User
Join date: Mar 2009
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#24
Fantastic dude! Normally I dont like to leave short little comments like this but I just wanted to curse you for getting this song stuck in my head for the rest of the day. DAMN YOU

Lol anyways you should write me a solo. Ill pay (maybe) haha
cptazad
Jeff Loomis is God
Join date: Jan 2006
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#25
Quote by DaddyTwoFoot
I don't think you should keep the name, considering that Metallica (literally the most popular metal band in history, in case you've forgotten) just released a song with the same title a few months ago.

Arch Enemy's My Apocalypse >>>> (about a billion times greater than) Metallica's My Apocalypse. Not to mention AE's song came a few years before Metallica's.


As for the song, I'm not liking the Verse; you had a good thing going w/ the intro and I was looking forward to where it would lead, kind of dissapointed when it came to the verse part. Having said that, the acoustic part does sound good although not for this song, perhaps turn it into another song altogether?

The Chorus was definitely catchy, I enjoyed it quite a bit. Doesn't need any changing =)

Solo at bar 71, not much to say. It was a solo that fits the song haha, I think it sounds good enough and serves its purpose. The tremelo picking @ bar 95 really adds to the chorus IMO, great job!

Overall, I loved the intro, the chorus and most of the Solo, the only things I can point out that MAY need changing (your discretion) are the drums, the Verse, and perhaps the outro, you can turn this easily into a 4-5 min song, but short and concise songs are always a good thing.

7.5/10, can easily be turned into an 8.5 or 9 with some minor tweaking and maybe adding another riff or two (instrumental/no vox).

Oh and congrats, yon rhyming lips with apocalypse haha, clever


CHORUS
Wicked eyes,
Follow my every move,
Vicious tongues,
Fortell my doom.

Don't wanna watch,
The sands of time slip.
I won't let this be,
My apocalypse.


crit a song from my latest album? https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1095241
"Our revenge so everlasting sweet,
Enslave your Children, Behead the weak,
Kill every last Man, Woman and Machine
The cleansing has begun.
Your meek defense is foolish,
we come from the stars a trillion strong."
aceral1715
Registered User
Join date: Mar 2007
527 IQ
#26
Quote by semitone36
Fantastic dude! Normally I dont like to leave short little comments like this but I just wanted to curse you for getting this song stuck in my head for the rest of the day. DAMN YOU

Lol anyways you should write me a solo. Ill pay (maybe) haha


haha thanks. Yeah, i dont mind writing you a solo. Maybe, send me the song sometime an ill see what i can do
semitone36
Registered User
Join date: Mar 2009
44 IQ
#28
Quote by aceral1715
haha thanks. Yeah, i dont mind writing you a solo. Maybe, send me the song sometime an ill see what i can do

Haha no thats alright i was joking. I have to learn to write solos eventually. But if you want to check out my song here it is