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#1
I come to you Pit, with a story of the single-most messed up two days of my life. Yes, it has to do with a girl but I'm not asking for specific advice and we are not in a relationship. I feel like it has potential for general interest and not just something a couple people would read in the relationship thread. If you really want to relocate it though, whatever. Anyways bear with me here...

So recently I've got to know this girl who is in my college Spanish class. And before you ask, yes she is ****ing gorgeous. I don't settle for anything less. Over the course of getting to know her I have discovered she digs me. She really likes me. Of course the big hairy but is that she has a boyfriend...of 2 years.

Boyfriend aside, we've spent some alone time together and that's when she admitted she wanted me but she was confused about what to do and what she wanted. We ended up just hugging for a long time and I played with her hair a bit. I told her I wouldn't kiss her until she was solely mine. I've gotten a lot of **** from friends about this but that is besides the point. I don't want to make a cheater out of someone.

A few hours ago we were in a study room all alone together. We talked a lot. She told me to tell her to stop if she was being a tease. I said I didn't really mind. After lots of intense staring and nothing more serious than gliding my fingers across her legs, she ended up lightly pushing onto my back on the couch.

She climbed on top of me and leaned over my face. She said she wasn't going to kiss me. I said I wasn't going to kiss her either. I asked her if she liked torturing and teasing me. She said she liked to know how much power she has over someone, so I continued to resist. She eventually told me I was doing good (resisting her I assume). She eventually got off me and went to the bathroom and we just talked after that.


Bah, I'm not really sure what I'm getting at or what I'm asking. I guess I'm just curious if you guys think I did the right thing. I know most would say you would have kissed her, but to me it was obvious she doesn't want me to kiss her. Not right now anyway. Although she said even if she breaks up with her boyfriend she wouldn't go straight to me. (I'm not asking for advice about that...I just want you to know the extent of our relationship). I know she wants me and she knows I want her.

But do you think I interpreted it right? Did I do the right thing? I can't figure out why she would tease me like that, save for the fact she likes to see her power over others. I think I passed the test but who knows. This kind of woman is a new experience to me. She does something to me (emotionally and otherwise) that I've never felt before. I have to have.

Thank you for putting up with that (if you actually did). Please guys - I'd love to hear your input on the matter or stories of a similar situation.
Quote by PaperStSoapCo
Vagina's tend to be not all that great looking most of the time. It's all... flappy. Looks sloppy.

I'd have to say guy junk wins but not by much. It's like winning a beauty contest against Steve Buscemi.
#2
Relationship Thread
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#4
Do you have an entry on sparknotes I can look up?

EDIT: All joking aside, I think you did do the right thing. Just imagine being her boyfriend. Sure it would tear you apart to find out. And I'm just gonna put this out there, don't get too attached cause chances are, if she's doing it to this guy (foreplay with other guys), then she's definitely not above doing that to you in the future, if you guys ever get together.

But congrats man, that takes a lot of courage and you've got my respect for it. Good luck.

But the extra details make me kinda sketchy haha, liars tend to add pointless novel details in attempt to make their lie more realistic
Quote by Guitar0player
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Happily E-Married to En_zed
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Last edited by x_thurston_x at Mar 1, 2009,
#7
Quote by x_thurston_x
Do you have an entry on sparknotes I can look up?


KLH & KGB
11/28/09
#9
i admire your not wanting to break her and her boyfriend up but come on!

that young stuff is the best stuff in the world!
#11
Quote by ConeShred
Relationship Thread

The Relationship Thread is nice but it's mostly a joke. You get one response from someone. I'm looking for a more general response from everyone. Plus I tied in a way for people to share similar experiences so bugger off.

As for rape, in a way it makes more sense than you think. She reminds me of Dominique Francon (if you are an Ayn Rand fan you get it) and in that book Howard essentially rapes Dominique and I have that situation stuck in my head. Like obviously not like actual rape but violent love-making.

Quote by sk8ordie97
SHUT UIUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUP!


anyway
you did the right thing man.
i wish i had self control like you

your my new hero!

I thank you for your kind words. It was a difficult thing to do. I hope you're right.
Quote by PaperStSoapCo
Vagina's tend to be not all that great looking most of the time. It's all... flappy. Looks sloppy.

I'd have to say guy junk wins but not by much. It's like winning a beauty contest against Steve Buscemi.
#12
The girl's basically cheating anyways. I'd get the hell outta there before her boyfriend comes back and kicks your ass.
#14
Quote by barb3rman
The Relationship Thread is nice but it's mostly a joke. You get one response from someone. I'm looking for a more general response from everyone. Plus I tied in a way for people to share similar experiences so bugger off.

As for rape, in a way it makes more sense than you think. She reminds me of Dominique Francon (if you are an Ayn Rand fan you get it) and in that book Howard essentially rapes Dominique and I have that situation stuck in my head. Like obviously not like actual rape but violent love-making.


I thank you for your kind words. It was a difficult thing to do. I hope you're right.

you wouldnt want to be with someone like taht if im wrong though... amirite?
#15
Quote by Tire Me.
Wow you've had an easy life.

I admit I have, but I've just never met someone like her. The way she pushed down on the couch and essentially mounted me and teased the ****ing hell out of me. I'm just not used to it and the whole has left my head in a mess.

Quote by jacksonP
i admire your not wanting to break her and her boyfriend up but come on!

that young stuff is the best stuff in the world!

You've got it all wrong man. I do want to get them to break up. That's the not issue. I just don't want to make a cheater out of someone. I sure as hell don't like to share either. I want her to myself or not at all, essentially. My personal morals aside, it was clearly a test. She wanted to get me to kiss her to know she had that kind of power but I didn't give her that satisfaction. I think I passed.
Quote by PaperStSoapCo
Vagina's tend to be not all that great looking most of the time. It's all... flappy. Looks sloppy.

I'd have to say guy junk wins but not by much. It's like winning a beauty contest against Steve Buscemi.
#16
You did good, I think you did the right thing.
MaKing thE possiBlE...
...totaLlY impossible
#17
By the way, why the **** would you come to the Pit and ask anything that's important to you. You know everyone is just going to give you the most funny/witty answer they can come up with.
#19
Quote by barb3rman
I admit I have, but I've just never met someone like her. The way she pushed down on the couch and essentially mounted me and teased the ****ing hell out of me. I'm just not used to it and the whole has left my head in a mess.


You've got it all wrong man. I do want to get them to break up. That's the not issue. I just don't want to make a cheater out of someone. I sure as hell don't like to share either. I want her to myself or not at all, essentially. My personal morals aside, it was clearly a test. She wanted to get me to kiss her to know she had that kind of power but I didn't give her that satisfaction. I think I passed.

and if she had cheated thenshe would probably cheat on you in the fututre
#20
i would've kissed her just to make a cheater out of her. the fact she's being a 'tease' to that extent basically makes her a slut, or cheap. and you should've let the world know that she is willing to cheat on her boyfriend so that guys know to avoid this skank
Quote by edge11
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#21
Well... the thing is.. and it's already been said, but I'll say it again to make it more known... she's a cheating ****.

She may be ****ing hot.

But... there are plenty of hot chicks out there who have emotional morals.
Chances are that... she knows how hot she is..
she's aware of it and has been.

And is attempting to manipulate you cause she was wet at the time.

Her excuse for it was:
"I just wanna see how much control I have over someone."

It excuses her if you resist, and it also leaves room for you to take her on sexually.

It's a tricky thing.
But if you have any respect... you'll lay off, she's with someone else.

And when she's done with him, if she ever is... you should do her.

Why not?

If she's a little(or a lot) slutty, no harm in sex just once... or more.
F uck buddy

But, yeah.
Again, props for NOT screwing her right then and there...
If she's as nice as you make her out to be... it must have taken a lot of energy to say no.
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#22
Quote by EnyoAdonai
You did good, I think you did the right thing.

Thanks. I hate relying on others' opinions but it makes me feel at ease.
Quote by Hobby
By the way, why the **** would you come to the Pit and ask anything that's important to you. You know everyone is just going to give you the most funny/witty answer they can come up with.

My best friends are out of contact right now. They went back home for the weekend. Plus, I don't know you guys face to face. There is a disconnection that can help honesty...not to mention it's anonymous. If you judge me, I can't really care.

Quote by Harmony.Korine
You mainly wanted to brag amirite?

Honestly I just wanted to vent and type it all out. It helps me sort it out in my head.

Quote by sk8ordie97
and if she had cheated then she would probably cheat on you in the fututre

Wait, are you agreeing with me? I think you are.

Quote by Wesseem
i would've kissed her just to make a cheater out of her. the fact she's being a 'tease' to that extent basically makes her a slut, or cheap. and you should've let the world know that she is willing to cheat on her boyfriend so that guys know to avoid this skank

I think you are making incorrect assumptions here. I don't appreciate you talking about her like that. Yeah, I know she's being a tease but I feel like I have a chance at actually being with her. And she isn't a skank. I'm almost positive she has never done something like this before. She's different man. She's honest. She's strong. She knows what she wants. She knows what I want. It's a new thing for me. I'm going with it for now.
Quote by PaperStSoapCo
Vagina's tend to be not all that great looking most of the time. It's all... flappy. Looks sloppy.

I'd have to say guy junk wins but not by much. It's like winning a beauty contest against Steve Buscemi.
#23
In a way I think you did the right thing. I also think you did a lot of other things right. It seemed to be going really well and then that situation came up.

I was going to type something else, but I just thought... she said she wanted to see how much power she had over you? you said you would not kiss her? so, perhaps by not actually kissing her, you may have teased her? made her think you will not simply kiss her just because she's right in your face? Something to think about I guess...

Although it's dumb. If she digs you that much, the fact that she has a boyfriend of 2 years and spends time alone with you, hugging and letting you play with her hair, telling you that she likes you, then why not get together? Sometimes people are not happy in their current relationships.

So, I suppose what I'm saying right there, would be go for it? Kiss her the next time? Although it seems to be going good, it's getting confusing and that's where it can go out the window. I would take action and secure her thoughts that she should be with you
#25
You replied to everyone's relevant post but mine.

Great, now I have to go tear up one of my mom's favorite dresses to compensate for the lack of attention. And she'll beat me you know? And I'll have a black eye for days, but in my little mind, I will have been satisfied. In a sick and twisted way, I will have had my fill.

But my body will be forever scarred, and in the future, this half-assed compensation will come back to haunt me, and lead me into a life of depression, you bastard you.
Quote by Guitar0player
You're Thurstonsexual

Happily E-Married to En_zed
The public doesn't want new music; the main thing that it demands of a composer is that he be dead.
-- Arthur Honegger

Enjoy reading? Please crit my work .
#26
you definatly did the right thing, that would have taken alot of self control.
Call me Cam
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I'm Han Solo, Splamron's Greedo.

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#27
Quote by Scissortooth
In a way I think you did the right thing. I also think you did a lot of other things right. It seemed to be going really well and then that situation came up.

I was going to type something else, but I just thought... she said she wanted to see how much power she had over you? you said you would not kiss her? so, perhaps by not actually kissing her, you may have teased her? made her think you will not simply kiss her just because she's right in your face? Something to think about I guess...

Although it's dumb. If she digs you that much, the fact that she has a boyfriend of 2 years and spends time alone with you, hugging and letting you play with her hair, telling you that she likes you, then why not get together? Sometimes people are not happy in their current relationships.

So, I suppose what I'm saying right there, would be go for it? Kiss her the next time? Although it seems to be going good, it's getting confusing and that's where it can go out the window. I would take action and secure her thoughts that she should be with you

This is the most reassuring post yet. I appreciate it. With me not kissing her, I was hoping to tease her in a way and show her that she can't get me to do what she wants. I asked what she would do if I kissed her. She said "I'd kiss you back but then I'd pull away, grab my stuff and leave." I told her it would be more worth it to resist and spend more time with her.

It all happened so fast. It's hard to remember everything. I remember her saying "That was the right answer." but I can't remember what the scenario was. It could have been the scenario I just mentioned in the last post. I dunno. So I think I played it right for now.

The thing is, she has said that her current relationship just doesn't have the "same fire" as it used to. They are clearly at the end of their rope. It just makes sense that we get together. We get along amazingly. Still she tells me even if they break up she won't come to right away (or at all she made it seem like). She makes it sound as if she just wanted to teach me a lesson. A lesson on the kind of woman I should be looking for - a strong one - one like her. Have girls been known to do this? Would anyone take that kind of time for just a lesson?

I definitely do not just want that. I want her. It sounds childish and naive, but how can I find someone quite like her. I surely don't think I'll ever be fully satisfied with another shy, quiet girl with a little to moderate sex drive.

To Thurston: I'm sorry. I didn't see your edit. Don't do whatever weird act you just described. I'm disturbed now. I'm trying not to get too attached. I just want to see where it leads. I won't sleep well until I do. If we ever do get together, I'll be aware. I feel like she is only doing because the excitement of her relationship has ended. Either way, she isn't a *****. Clearly she has something more going on in her head than "I want to **** this guy." We have a real connection. *****s don't spend 2 hours straight reading poetry back and forth to each other...do they?

Oh and Thurston. What did you mean by the liars and sketchy details thing?
Quote by PaperStSoapCo
Vagina's tend to be not all that great looking most of the time. It's all... flappy. Looks sloppy.

I'd have to say guy junk wins but not by much. It's like winning a beauty contest against Steve Buscemi.
#29
You did good, better off to avoid these things before they get really bad.

I don't planning on taking my head out of the books next year in college.
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#31
Quote by metal-head666
you havnt ahd much experience with women have you

Haha! And you have? No I haven't had much but I still feel like I did the right thing. Even if I had had more experience with women it wouldn't matter. This whole situation was just different. I've never met such a sensual, strong, confident woman. She knows what she wants. She knows what I want. She's so keen to everything. I might be getting toyed with but that doesn't change the fact that I now feel like I can't have anything less in a woman.
Quote by PaperStSoapCo
Vagina's tend to be not all that great looking most of the time. It's all... flappy. Looks sloppy.

I'd have to say guy junk wins but not by much. It's like winning a beauty contest against Steve Buscemi.
#32
I'm just going to tell you that a girlfriend of mine, some time ago, did this before we got together. She ended up cheating.
Quote by guitar-godfrey
when i grow up i wanna have blackandsilver's babies!

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..
HOLY HELL.

nice discovery, sir.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Last edited by coryklok : Today at 01:10 PM.
#33
Quote by Hobby
By the way, why the **** would you come to the Pit and ask anything that's important to you. You know everyone is just going to give you the most funny/witty answer they can come up with.

cum am I right kids?.. kids..?? *in adult trying to be funny and hip*

bull**** aside, I think you did the right thing TS.. good on ya.
"You're a twat!"- That dude in morrisons

"You Ugly git!" - That girl in the restaurant

"You Were a Mistake!" - Mum

just a few of my fans..



#34
typical pit post - you should have spiderman'd her!

my post- dude you did the right thing, if she likes you that much you will end up together, but be careful of the boyfriend
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do what jimbleton said


^ i did something good!!

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This.


^ to something i said!

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#35
Quote by BlackandSilver
I'm just going to tell you that a girlfriend of mine, some time ago, did this before we got together. She ended up cheating.

I realize that is entirely possible. She is a very sensual, sexual person. As far as I know, she is only looking to me for some sort of excitement. She has lost the passion in her relationship. It would be my job to keep that passion, if we were together. If there's no passion anyways then what does it matter?

It doesn't matter could happen, anyways. The thing is that she has completely changed the way I think about women and what kind I want to be with. My standards have been raised. My past girlfriends seem shy and weak in comparison. Not to mention just being with her feels natural - more so than any other relationship I've been in. I can't ignore that. I won't rest well until she is mine.
Quote by PaperStSoapCo
Vagina's tend to be not all that great looking most of the time. It's all... flappy. Looks sloppy.

I'd have to say guy junk wins but not by much. It's like winning a beauty contest against Steve Buscemi.
#36
Well done.
My advice now is to leave her alone.
My reason for this being, if she breaks up with her boyfriend, and dates you, it's more than likely she'll cheat on you like she is trying to do with her boyfriend now. And I guess she'll come across a lot more guys that don't have the same level of self control as yourself.
#37
Sounds like a lot of girls I've had expierience with...want you whenever, and then when they don't you're gone. You're showing her you're the submissive in the relationship already, she's gonna walk all over you dude.
Third out in the MOD contest '08.
#38
You probably did the right thing. If you'd gone for it when she'd said she was seeing how much control she had over you, that would have made you her bitch.

I'd also say, just be prepared that she may do the same thing to you if you do end up going out with her. And other guys might not have your iron self-control.
#39
Kissing or not, I'd be pretty upset if my girlfriend did that with another guy. You're 18 years old, you're taking this way too seriously.
#40
Quote by JamMan*
Sounds like a lot of girls I've had expierience with...want you whenever, and then when they don't you're gone. You're showing her you're the submissive in the relationship already, she's gonna walk all over you dude.

I didn't submit though. Sure she climbed on top me but I didn't give in to her. Plus, if I get the opportunity I might try to turn the tables somehow.
Quote by gibsonpenguin
Kissing or not, I'd be pretty upset if my girlfriend did that with another guy. You're 18 years old, you're taking this way too seriously.

It's just the fact I have never felt the same way about someone. It's a new feeling. How can you not take this seriously? I'm not saying we'll together forever - maybe not at all. But this is a chance to learn something about love, about myself and what I want. That is serious ****.
Quote by PaperStSoapCo
Vagina's tend to be not all that great looking most of the time. It's all... flappy. Looks sloppy.

I'd have to say guy junk wins but not by much. It's like winning a beauty contest against Steve Buscemi.
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