Injuyin
Trippin'
Join date: Jun 2008
17 IQ
#2
Ahhh I love this type of music man!

I've got like 5 chill-out albums, they're the best to sleep to and relax. This'd fit perfectly on one of them, maybe have like some girl singing over in with lots of echo and reverb, that'd be awesome.

Mostly I've listened and I just zone out and the sound melds into one, it's not a bad thing, it's really nice to listen to!

The ending was a bit of a disappointment, however it'd melt nicely into the next song if on an album.

Overall, 9/10, You've inspired me to make this sort of stuff now :P


EDIT: The recording was a bit of a disappointment, the guitar sounded a bit off rhythmically, but the other tracks were good! It need to be more flowy with the guitar, like with the chorus it just stops, maybe fade or echo it out to make it smoother transitioning.
Last edited by Injuyin at Mar 1, 2009,
randomthought9
Registered User
Join date: Jun 2006
970 IQ
#3
thanks for the crit! yea i kinda threw together the recording, it's more of a rough sketch, but the song itself is basically done. i'm just seeing what criticisms people have, and then i'll prolly be 100% done besides vocals, which i'm thinking will be like what you describe-probably a girl singing with lots of echo and reverb. what chill out albums do you have? anything you want me to crit?
Skillet_Panhead
UG's #1 Panhead
Join date: Mar 2008
701 IQ
#6
Hey, thanks for the crit and sorry it took so long to get back to you. My computer's been an arse the last couple days so I couldn't log on.

And you definately got the chill part down I really liked it. But I think it ends a little too abruptly. Maybe at the very end, put that lower F#m7 chord as a whole note with a quarter note strum. Let that ring out a bar or two, it sounds a little more complete that way. There were some notes in the bridge that I wished would ring out a little more too. But other than that, it's a pretty cool song.

Thanks again for the crit and sorry it took so long to get back to you,
--SP
Macabre_Turtle
UG's UGer
Join date: Oct 2006
640 IQ
#7
I just saw that you critted me a while ago and I never got you back. My bad. I will do that later today.
Macabre_Turtle
UG's UGer
Join date: Oct 2006
640 IQ
#8
Nothing to say about the intro really. It works. Not amazing. Not bad.
Verse is great. Love the way you're essentially getting completely different unrelated melodies on bass and rhodes to sound well, and I like the progression. I think the bar immediately before the next section should have just one instrument ring through the whole bar.
I like the chorus, not for any particular reason besides the feeling of it. Well, I guess a lot of it is the scratches in the guitar rhythm.
I would like for the piano solo to still have at least one of the instruments you took out.
I think the guitar solo should be OD'd, maybe with some delay too. The solo itself is kinda dull to me though. Not because it's slow and what not. It just doesn't seem to go anywhere, and just feels like random notes in a scale. So, do something without, and I'd maybe add a piano part that interacts with the solo. Like, some harmonizing, or filling during long notes.
For the bridge, I don't really like the straightforward quarter note rhythm that kinda ruins all the fun rhythms you had. But, I like the experimentation. I would just change the guitar at 103. I don't like it copying 101 for some reason. Just use a different chord or something.
gnomieowns
UG's Fluffer
Join date: Apr 2008
538 IQ
#10
very jazzy! verse was great, solos did their job. chorus was cool too. i *absolutely* loved the rhodes piano!
you could do as Macabre_Turtle suggested and make the guitar solo more... lively. i realize it's a chill song, but you could still revamp it and make it sound better. harmonizing would be great.

easily a solid 8.5/10 though, and with a little more work it would be fabulous!

c4c? https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1125194
randomthought9
Registered User
Join date: Jun 2006
970 IQ
#11
thanks for the crits! i'm actually adding some new stuff to this song, mostly making the transitions smoother. i've got some little bass fills i added. i hadn't even thought about changing the guitar solo, but i'll look into it. maybe add a little piano? i'll have to see. thanks for the suggestions all.

i'll get to work on those crits.
Illuminated
The light that blinds.
Join date: Apr 2009
348 IQ
#12
I liked it quite a bit, the use of guitar was interesting and creative, but I don't like how it ended so abruptly and randomly, like you got tired of writing the same thing and just ended it right there. It was a little crazy for a "chill-out" song, but nonetheless creative.

Care to crit mine? Here's the link:https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1122883.
I am but a light shining among the darkness that exists in the hearts of men.

That sounded quite cheesy, now didn't it?
dervishguitar
Registered User
Join date: Apr 2007
1,379 IQ
#13
Lol. I'm sorry but I kinda laughed at the beginning. Not because it was bad or anything but I actually didn't expect it to actually be laid back or anything what with all the metalcore being posted. Lol. It gets reallt interesting for me. Not a fan of the drums throughout. I need snare to live and I don't think I heard any. The musicianship of it makes me happy though how the instruments all come in when they're supposed to and how barely any of the song has to grow on you. One other thing that i don't really enjoy is the bass slide down right before one of those pauses. It just left a sour taste. The bridge is really nice.

All in all: 4/5 for happiness

Thanks for putting a smile on face. :P

Crit mine?

https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?p=19903042#post19903042