#1
I sat down in a creepy room with no lights on drunk at a piano two nights ago and this flowed out OTS, I just transcribed it from the recording. it's about my father leaving my family, like everything else I write. recording is crappy at best but is here if you want: http://profile.ultimate-guitar.com/%231+synth/


Mom and John Debelis.

you can tell by the newspapers
that line the floor
that this is not a happy home
no not anymore
I remember when I met you
remember when we danced through the night
and I miss when you said to me, you whispered
everything will be alright
I remember when we held our child
I remember when you said it was wild
that you could love anything as much as you did
as much as you do
I remember how the wheat grew far out west
and you said
maybe someday we will take the best of us in the world
and travel out to the moon
and then all the little bombs and little guns
and little days that we’ve lost
will all explode, let them all explode

and I wish you were here and I wish the motor wasn’t running
and I wish you weren’t head headlong into traffic
and I wish that stars were brighter tonight
and I wish this room we painted together would weather all the little cracks
and all the erosion of the time, and I don’t like to whine
but there’s nothing left to stand for when the way that you have lived
is now off in Morocco
they're outsourcing loveliness like they're outsourcing jobs
they're outsourcing dreams like they're outsourcing lawns
and I keep hoping I keep waiting I keep talking
my hands are shut I keep pulling triggers
all sorts of triggers
I feel the wall against my skin
I’m tempted not to begin again

oh I remember when we held our child
you said he was warm in your arms oh my god wasn’t that wild
when we first kissed under that park bench
and you said oh man I can’t see the world but I can see your lips
they are sort of red, they are sort of purple, they are sort of orange,
I’m not wearing my glasses and I can’t really tell at all
then twenty years later that’s when we watched the snowfall
he kept crying there was no explosion theres never explosions
just erosion of the rocks
of the stocks on our necks
out west we will be hung
we will be ridiculed

we had such a love we had such a way of seeing
we had such a strong of knowing, you had such a strong way of saying
everything will be okay
will be alright
we’d get that rent pay, I’d get that job,
we’d get that paper in on time, I promised you
I would never whine I would stay strong
I would not falter and I’d pray for the water
I hoped everything would stay okay
and when we were all falling by the wayside
I hoped God would stay inside
and I hope that we are not-

are we dead or are we dying or are we just in denial
and you can tell by the newspapers as they line the floor
this is not a happy home
and our son doesn’t even know us or call us anymore
and I hope maybe he is a famous singer
out on Broadway, maybe he’s followed the dreams that seemed to just get in our
maybe he’s cleaning the sewers, and maybe he’s cleaning the streets
and maybe someday he’ll come back a sheriff and kill us both,
and then measure what we’ve done in our life, oh god what have we done in our lives

I want you back, you can tell by the empty jewelry drawer
that you won’t be coming back anymore
you can tell by the newspapers in small print lining the floor
that this is not a happy home
this is not a happy home
so are we dead or are we dying or are we just in denial
your motor was running, you sped off west
or are we just in denial
so are we dead or are we dying or are we just in denial
are we dead or are we dying or are we just in denial
are we dead or are we dying or are we just in denial
are we dead or are we dying or are we just in denial
are we dead or are we dying or are we just in denial
are we dead or are we dying or are we just in denial
#2
In a strange way even the recording was beautiful. It's not something I could listen to often but for what is was... and where it came from... plus the ending was really powerful, it was like... you almost lost control. Idk, I'm just thinking out loud.

It's not something I imagine you'll be cleaning up/trimming down/reworking at all, so I won't waste my time on that. Some really poignant stuff in here.
O! music: Click (Youtube)


^ Click to see an acoustic arrangement of Ke$ha's 'Your Love is my Drug' - everyone's favourite song.
#4
Jesus ****ing christ that was amazing. I was completely enthralled, mesmerised. The structure is completely chaotic, but that just added to the beauty. They way certain lines were starting to repeat more and more often until in the last stanza there was just an explosion of repetition was pure genius, it made me feel like I'm going crazy.

I adored this.
#5
if you wouldn't mind dropping a line or two on this:

https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1076410

it's not exactly the greatest thing i've written, but it's me working towards better things. plus it's a song... so things sometimes have to be worded differently.

thanks man.
O! music: Click (Youtube)


^ Click to see an acoustic arrangement of Ke$ha's 'Your Love is my Drug' - everyone's favourite song.
#7
if i had not read the preface (or whatever you would call it) to this, i would not have understood the chaotic, out-of-sync singing in the recording. However, the fact that you were as composed as that (for seven and a half minutes, no less) and came up with something as powerful as that piece is, that is stunning. it was beautiful, emotionally-driven and poignant, and everything that michal said, i echo.

two links in the sig, pick either or both if you're adventurous, i'll get to another of yours if you do both

#8
Ma-a-a-an this depresses the shit out of me, and I mean that in the highest of compliments. Recording made it haunting. I feel like lying alone in my room in the cold. Mmf. Powerful.
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it's official, vintage x metal is the saving grace of this board and/or the antichrist




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