#1
I dont really think i can stay the night
I might get the wrong impression
Still think what if from time to time
I know that you're no good for me

Stay away from me this time
You are always on my mind
Stay away from me this time
You are the hardest goodbye

I dont think I'll ever get over you
I dont think I'll ever get over you
I dont think I'll ever get over you
I dont think I'll ever get

And would it be cliche to say i love you 'cause i still do
and would it be cliche to say i'd walk a thousand miles to see you
you are my home
you are the only place i know

Theres nothing left for me to say
I think i've made myself heard
looks like you've moved on anyway
does it still hurt to think of me?

Stay away from me this time
i miss your beautiful smile
Stay away from me this time
You are the hardest goodbye

I dont think I'll ever get over you
I dont think I'll ever get over you
I dont think I'll ever get over you
I dont think I'll ever get

And would it be cliche to say i love you 'cause i still do
and would it be cliche to say i'd walk a thousand miles to see you
you are my home
you are the only place i know

And would it be cliche to say i love you 'cause i still do
and would it be cliche to say i'd walk a thousand miles to see you
you are my home
you are the only place i know

Recording of this song on my profile/my band's myspace
Last edited by 02thomaf at Mar 3, 2009,
#4
Quote by Gizzmo0411
I'd like to put this to music...would you mind terribly if I took a shot at it?


Already done it Gizzmo

its on my profile and on my band's myspace we've played it live a couple of times and got a good reception from it
#5
disagree with Descendent-182, i think this is a good tune. I like the choice of music to go with the lyrics. Not a lot of heavy guitar; makes the song intimate, and the lyrics reflect that.

one of the lines in the fifth stanza, the second one starting with "stay away from me this time," in the song it is sung "i miss your beautiful smile." Just wanted to give you a heads-up.

Also, a couple of bits of constructive criticism for you; one thing that i may change in the song though is perhaps, right at the end, repeat the last line or the last two lines. As it is, it seems that the song isn't complete to me, the way it ends, in that there seems something is missing. I believe that repeating the last line would fill that missing piece. The other - the only word i don't like is the word "cliché." it feels to me that you are asking a question you have the answer to already. however, i can't deny the consistency in flow that the word creates, so i hesitate to say definitely change it. I could see a word like "selfish" there, and the way you have strung together everything else so wonderfully, makes me believe you could replace cliché with selfish and keep the same design for the chorus

Link in sig if you're interested.

hope this helps you out.

#6


one of the lines in the fifth stanza, the second one starting with "stay away from me this time," in the song it is sung "i miss your beautiful smile." Just wanted to give you a heads-up.

QUOTE]
That'll teach me for copy and pasting wont it

cheers for the feedback DTH, I take on board what you've said however when i wrote i was thinking of like the stereotypical love songs and how they express their feelings with all these cliche metaphors. The song is about how i felt just after i split up with someone i was still in love with so its kinda like saying although they're all a bit cliched, cheesey metaphors, it is genuinely how I felt.

Hope that makes sense

but cheers for the feedback - its nice to see someone appreciating our music
#7
Quote by Duct Tape Hero


one of the lines in the fifth stanza, the second one starting with "stay away from me this time," in the song it is sung "i miss your beautiful smile." Just wanted to give you a heads-up.

QUOTE]
That'll teach me for copy and pasting wont it




I give up