#1
First song in a while, I know some parts are repetive but just stick with it, i personally think its good but im putting it up here to see what everyone else thinks. this is kind of a new style of writing for me because ive always done the traditional verse chorus verse way. let me know how i did
Crit 4 Crit I'll return the favor as always
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Why does it always come down to this
Why do I keep coming back for more
I promised myself it was the last time
I don't know whose worse off in the end
And no matter how hard we try
I know I'll be back once again
And no matter how hard we try
I know you'll end up hurt in the end

Why does it always come down to this
Why do I keep coming back for more
The truth didn't set me free and now you'll never see
The way that I could change your world
maybe for the better or I'd blow it all up and know it wouldn't matter
And no matter how hard we try
I'll be back dying for you
And no matter how hard we try
I'll drop everything

Just to look in your eyes, oh God, what have I done
Too little too late I always thought it'd be ok in the end
And no matter how hard I try
I know that I'll always feel the same
And no matter how hard I try
I know that I'll always go out of my way
And no matter how hard I try
you'll be right and I'll be wrong
And no matter how hard I try
I know you'll always look my way
Last edited by zchavez09 at Mar 2, 2009,
#2
As a writer who sometimes uses repetition in my work also, i'd say that the repetition is necessary for the flow of the piece. However, if this is going to be a song, i think that there may be more left to write. With all the repetition, there isn't exactly a lot said in the song. Nothing bad, just look to lengthen it a bit is all, i think.

Links in the sig, pick one the other, or both if you're adventurous. if you do both, leave another link in the second one and i'll get to that one also.