#1
I started writing a song rather late last night and I almost forgot about it til now.
I'm in the state of mind where everything I write seems like garbage so I would like to know if anyone thinks what I have is worth finishing.

Here it is...

King Me (You Dirty Slut)-tentative title


I think I'm losing my mind
I take two steps closer every time
Toward the edge of my sanity
Excuse me for my vanity
I just can't help but wonder why?

I'm certainly one hell of a guy
I'm intelligent, funny, and kind
I write lyrics and some poetry
I'm passionate and so is she
But I just can't seem to catch her eye.
I want Super Saiyan abilities
Last edited by rebelmidget at Mar 2, 2009,
#2
Pretty good
In order to live, you must be ready to die

R.I.P. DIO


FUCK JUSTIN BIEBER


Quote by Metallica_AC/DC
a mental asylum called Mike



Quote by Masamune
That's cuz you mad...Mike.

Sorry, had to get my corniness out of the way.
#3
If you're title is actually "yay or nay", fine, but if not, please read the rules on how to title your thread in respect to your piece.
#4
i really like the first stanza, the second not so much so but its still pretty good
Guitars:
Jackson JS30KE Kelly
Jackson RRX10D
Fender Telecaster American Standard
Epiphone Acoustic
Amps:
Vox DA15
Marshall G80RCD
Pedals:
Boss GT-6
Boss MT-2
#6
Good start, please continue it

Quote by AngryGoldfish
If you're title is actually "yay or nay", fine, but if not, please read the rules on how to title your thread in respect to your piece.



^EDIT: nevermind, i thought the title on the page was "King Me," not "yay or nay?"
Last edited by Duct Tape Hero at Mar 2, 2009,
#8
thanks for the encouragement everyone
i'll get around to finishing this soon
sorry about the title thing. wasn't thinking
I want Super Saiyan abilities
#9
Let me know when you finish it, btw, and try and focus on writing like the second verse, avoiding the cliches of the first.