#1
Hey wanted to know what you all thought of these lyrics.


Hold me down and feed me ****
or at least give me time to get a grip
I'm losing touch
and i don't care
Its pointless now
so don't even dare (to)
call this fair
and give me this blank stare

Keep all your promises (and)
call me your weakness
If you look further down
will you find the courage to live this lie?
Was it worth it in the end?


How many ways can you find to ****ing bitch?
I'm sick and tired of your childish bull****.
How many days will i put up with this?
Time to say goodbye to this empty bliss

Are you happy now?


You can here the song here- www.myspace.com/ascendtheband
#2
Hold me down and feed me ****
*Or* at least give me time to get a grip (dont think you need this 'Or')
I'm losing touch
and i don't care

Its pointless now
so don't you dare
sit and give me this blank stare
look me in the eye and call this fair..


Dunno about this but i thought these last two lines fitted better switched round
I think these two verses fit better than the single one verse if you put a short guitar solo in between?


Keep all your promises (dont need an 'and' here)
call me your weakness
If you look further down
will you find the courage to live this lie?
Was it worth it in the end?

I'm feeling the rhythm of this verse so i wouldnt change anything its good

You know you're a ****ing bitch?
I'm sick of your childish ****.

Too many days I've put up with this,
Time to say goodbye to this empty bliss

Are you happy now?

Really good song don't worry if you don't agree with my crit!
Crit my song please!
Last edited by aidzo_og at Mar 4, 2009,