#1
OTS. Poem. I don't know, just sorta wrote whatever down. I was trying out some letter alliteration and repetition, let me know how it went.

C4C, of course. Thanks.

PS: I know the commas may be misplaced, but I'm just experimenting with random perks that catch readers attention. Crit on that too.

Looking forward to another day,
full of fake faces,
shriek shrills of sassy girls.
Striving to understand,
a single word coming from your mouth.
You speak too fast,
the words can't catch up to your,
mile a minute mouth.

You speak from experiences,
you heard from a friend.
A real life telephone.
But the kid in the middle,
hearing what he heard,
changing what was said,
into something he feels more.

Everyday we go through,
the same routines.
Pushing and shoving,
lying and fighting,
hating and loving,
and yet, we feel nothing.
We continue with our lives,
with one person in mind.

We color outside the lines,
we stray from what we should do,
to things we want to do.
Quit diverging from the path,
we set out on long ago.
She brought you in,
she can take you out.
Write your own lyrics or poetry? Post them HERE for a crit.
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#3
im not sure how you were thinking of putting this together (or IF you were) but i wonder how you'll make it work....... but i say its pretty decent, work on your breaking up of sentences a little and make it flow easier, and i think itll be great.
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