#1
I wrote out the intro lead/rhythm part of this ~ a month ago and haven't touched it again until ~ a week ago. I tabbed out the chorus and put it away again. So, I decided that today I was going to work on this tune a bit more. It still isn't finished (needs bass, more keys, better transitions, and an ending), but I'm pretty happy with my progress. This is also the first tab I've ever submitted here (of my own that is).

Anyway, let me know what you think. And don't be afraid to throw out suggestions!!

C4C as always!!


*EDIT* - I've worked with a couple transitions and added a couple things in. Just need to add a few more keyboard parts. It's now ~95% complete.

See ver2.

*EDIT 2*
I just recorded this song. Go here to check it out.
https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1082085
Attachments:
the_rider.zip
the_rider_ver2.zip
AMP:
5150 combo
GSP1101 + Tech 21 PE60

GUITARS:
ESP LTD M-255 w/ SD Full Shred
Kramer Vanguard w/ JE-1000 active preamp
Douglas WF-150sn w/ GFS "Hot Lead" set

EFFECTS:
Bos SD-1 (boost)
AMT DT-2

My Youtube Vids http://youtube.com/user/mogar
Last edited by mogar at Mar 6, 2009,
#2
The intro sounded great, I loved the melody and the way the song started. The verse is also pretty cool, but unfortunately it seemed like a bit of a step backward because of the melody going down an octave and the rhythm guitar doing a more staccato gallop rhythm. I was hoping the more epic feel of the intro would continue when the drums started, it's not really a problem at all though, just a thought. That's definitely a great melody though. The chorus is awesome, but it seemed a bit strange having such a big change in the rhythm, it seems more like a pleasant surprise than a climax. I think you should try to make the change to triplets seem more natural, even if just by having a guitar lick and drum fill at the end of the verse involving triplets.

I didn't like the quieter non-metal section too much, there's not too much going on, and it reminds me of RPG music. The heavy riff, solo and "riff + melo" were awesome, I particularly like the drums in the solo. The transition back into the verse was surprisingly seamless, I liked that. The outro doesn't exist, I'm looking forward to seeing what you come up with though.

Overall, a great song, but with a few flaws, which is fair enough since it's not finished.
I'LL PUNCH A DONKEY IN THE STREETS OF GALWAY
Last edited by whalepudding at Mar 5, 2009,
#3
Whalepudding has pretty well summed up what i think, so i'll review his crit, and then add something of my own...

Quote by whalepudding
The intro sounded great, I loved the melody and the way the song started. The verse is also pretty cool, but unfortunately it seemed like a bit of a step backward because of the melody going down an octave and the rhythm guitar doing a more staccato gallop rhythm. I was hoping the more epic feel of the intro would continue when the drums started, it's not really a problem at all though, just a thought. That's definitely a great melody though. The chorus is awesome, but it seemed a bit strange having such a big change in the rhythm, it seems more like a pleasant surprise than a climax.

I didn't like the quieter non-metal section too much, there's not too much going on, and it reminds me of RPG music. The heavy riff, solo and "riff + melo" were awesome, I particularly like the drums in the solo. The transition back into the verse was surprisingly seamless, I liked that. The outro doesn't exist, I'm looking forward to seeing what you come up with though.

Overall, a great song, but with a few flaws, which is fair enough since it's not finished.


1. The intro was great, and i think the galloping pattern was a good move.
2. I agree, there wasn't really enough going on here.
3. So am i!

I particularly liked the contrast and similarities between the section ending at 155 and the verse at 156.
The solo was great also.

You could crit any of the songs in my sig if you like. I'd probably prefer Blackened Thrash, as its my most recent, but if you want to do either of the folk ones, i'd be more than pleased.

Your song reminds me a fair bit of Ensiferum, but not in a bad way, (like you copied them or anything.) If you've got anymore songs you're willing to share with us, let me know.

EDIT: Nevermind that last bit, i just noticed you already commented one . I just came in here and went 'Oh another folk composer, hell yeah!' and clicked on this thread without noticing my one on the first page.

Thanks for the kind words and keep up the good work. We need more folk metal in the Tabs and Chords forum. I'm so sick of the insane amount of metalcore in here, and the death metal midis get pretty banal aswell.
Last edited by Butt Rayge at Mar 6, 2009,
#4
Cool, thanks for the feedback guys. I just want to clarify a couple things here.

I put that orchestrated part in there to not only bridge the gap between the main verse/chorus riffs, but also add some dynamics to the song. I wanted to have a "calm before the storm" moment. I am going to try and fill it out a little more and get rid of some of the dead space there though .

Oh, I'm currently working on this tune some more and am starting to shape out the outro and adding some parts here and there to fill up a couple empty spaces. Expect a (mostly) complete version up shortly.


@ Rayge - I posted a crit of "Blackened Thrash". Great song btw.
AMP:
5150 combo
GSP1101 + Tech 21 PE60

GUITARS:
ESP LTD M-255 w/ SD Full Shred
Kramer Vanguard w/ JE-1000 active preamp
Douglas WF-150sn w/ GFS "Hot Lead" set

EFFECTS:
Bos SD-1 (boost)
AMT DT-2

My Youtube Vids http://youtube.com/user/mogar
#5
oh yeah thats an awesome piece. Great atmosphere, got a really good driving core to it that I just enjoyed so much. Change up to the triplet notes on the chorus is done very well, but the chorus overall seemed to repeat more than it needed to, maybe a little drum fill or a change up to the drumbeat can help it progress without changing the dynamic of the song. The change up/strings section was awesome, really atmospheric, war drums absolutely epic. Heavy riffs good, needs a little something I think, the snare/hi-hat might sound better alternating on that section. First part of the solo is perfect, builds up the song just right. The rest of the solo didnt really stand out for me. The last sections, riff-melo into verse into chorus into outro all transitioned really well, great end to the song. Could use a key change or something towards the end.

9/10 - Great piece, made me pick up my guitar and play along with the melody towards the end and raise my hands to the sky at the end. composition speaks for itself, Its not overdone, just what it needs to be, a powerful driving song.
Quote by demoniacfashion
I think the worst are when intended compliments are really stupid. Like,"Dude, you're like the black Jimi Hendrix! Does that guy even still make albums?"
#6
Hey, thanks for the crit and sorry it took so long to get back to you. My computer's been an arse the last couple days so I couldn't log on.

Overall it was a good song, but some things just didn't click with me. First off, the lead guitar in the opening riff was cool, but it was too repetitive once you got to the verse. After the first 2 bars, I was expecting it to go a little lower, but play the same pattern, just to give it a little more variety--a little more punch. Same goes for the verse riff, my brain kept wanting to hear the pattern get a little lower, instead of hearing the same thing repeat over the entire verse.

The triplets in the chorus were great though, they fit fine being repeated like that. And that change up to the orchestra....splendid. It added a lot of strength to the song that, up till then, it needed. Wasn't a fan of the 'heavy riff' though. I appologize for not having suggestions to spice that one up, it just didn't sound quite as epic as the section that came before it. Solo was fantasic though, nothing bad to say about that. And from there on out, the song was pretty good. I loved the drumming. The galloping feel worked well for this song, but I'm sure you knew that.

I'd say 8.5/10. The good outweighed the bad in this one.

Thanks again for the crit and sorry it took so long to get back to you,
--SP
--[img]http://i222.photobucket.com/albums/dd320/SquallLeonhart8/ESPEX50TestamentPracticeAlbumCustom.jpg[/img]--
Testament Practice What You Preach Edition ESP Explorer by me.
What do you think? PM me
#7
Crit as I listen..

Liking the intro riff, leads nicely into the verse.
Triplets in the rhythm for verse fit really well too.

Chorus... Erm, Ok. I had to stop it and do something about the drums here. It's like you're trying to over-complicate the drums too much. I've changed it to a simple beat (like the verse) but kept the constant open high hat on every beat, and it sounds so much better imo. It fits alot better too. With the drums you had the rhythm changed a bit too much I feel.

Loving the 'change up' part. The timpani adds to the feel really well. Sounds awesome when the piccolo enters. I like how you havent tried to over complicate this part.

The heavy riff is good, I like the drums here. One thing I would say, is maybe keep the keys going in this part.

Theee solo... Not much to say here really. Fits nicely and leads perfectly into the next riff. Good job on this part

Again, same as before with the chorus, I'd try something else with those drums.
I would again, maybe add the keys into this last chorus too, because when they just suddenly come in at the 'build' part, it sounds abit strange. Maybe if they flowed into it it would be better.

The outro brings the song to a close nicely.

Overall, awesome song, just a few things which I pointed out which could make it that bit better.

9/10