pit, please read my cover letter for my resume, i need please, thanks alot.!

#1
thats supposed to say i need help please, sorry for the typo in the title


hey guys, im a student really wanting a new job this year, i had a job building fences last year, while it was fun, it had terrible hours, i just finished my cover letter, can you please read over it? be as picky as english-ly(ironic my bad) possible, i need it to be proffessional, thanks again.

RE: National Capitol Commission


My name is John Doe and I will be finishing my first year of engineering undergraduate studies at Queens University in April. The objective of the Engineering program is to enhance the students knowledge of sciences used in the profession, as well as learn how to make smart and informative decisions on how to effectively find a solution to a problem. A large part of this program is rational thinking, preparing, analyzing and succeeding in getting from a problem to a solution. My undergraduate program has allowed me to progress in making informative and educated decisions. As you can see via my resume, I have many different work experiences, many consisting of long and demanding hours on the job. Last summer I worked for FenceMasters Fences building fences and decks. This position was physically intensive, and had many days of long hours, some days going up to 13 hours on the job. My past employment allowed me to improve on working as efficiently as possible due to the fact that we worked until our boss was satisfied with the progress made that day. I am dynamic, friendly and have strong communication skills with an excellent knowledge for computers and technology. I encourage you to look at my attached resume and look forward to speaking with you in the future to discuss how I am the ideal applicant for this position.


Sincerely Yours,
John Doe
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wy is yer mad at muy gramhar fer?


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aparently i ar smrt?
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#4
Quote by JimmyBanks6



My name is John Doe



I don't believe you. You shouldn't lie about your name on résumés.
<Han> I love Hitler
#5
Use paragraphs, and you got your gender wrong.
I'm that dude with the fro.
Quote by angus fan16
Long story short, a whale flew out of the ocean, landed next to me and shot like a wall of water straight into my face.
#6
Quote by Froboarder
Use paragraphs, and you got your gender wrong.


if you look at my profile you will notice im a guy, its a joke to annoy the people who look at profiles namely cuz they are a girl


but thanks for the advice everyone!!
Sell and Promote your music TuneHub!



wy is yer mad at muy gramhar fer?


Quote by jimmyled
jimmybanks youre a genius.


aparently i ar smrt?
Quote by dyingLeper
jimmybanks youre a genius


GO SENS GO
Last edited by JimmyBanks6 at Mar 6, 2009,
#8
Quote by SoftOath
i give u advice and u give me sarcasm?!?!?!

thx...


by criticism i meant advice my bad!! that wasnt meant to be sarcastic! sorry dude i used the wrong word
Sell and Promote your music TuneHub!



wy is yer mad at muy gramhar fer?


Quote by jimmyled
jimmybanks youre a genius.


aparently i ar smrt?
Quote by dyingLeper
jimmybanks youre a genius


GO SENS GO
#9
Quote by JimmyBanks6
if you look at my profile you will notice im a guy, its a joke to annoy the people who look at profiles namely cuz they are a girl


but thanks for the criticism everyone!!

Eh, I don't bother doing that.
I'm that dude with the fro.
Quote by angus fan16
Long story short, a whale flew out of the ocean, landed next to me and shot like a wall of water straight into my face.
#11
you can't tell at all what you're applying for in the cover letter. and one of the main reasons of the cover letter is saying why you would be good for the position you're applying for.
#12
hey just wondering if you pitmonkeys could have one more glance at it, any more advice would be greatly appreciated, ill b applying today
Sell and Promote your music TuneHub!



wy is yer mad at muy gramhar fer?


Quote by jimmyled
jimmybanks youre a genius.


aparently i ar smrt?
Quote by dyingLeper
jimmybanks youre a genius


GO SENS GO