Page 1 of 6
#2
I was so drunk one night that I slept with my mate (a girl) then left at 7 in the morning with a stiffy.

There are far too many to even name to be honest.

RMF


I was much further out than you thought
And not waving but drowning.
I was much too far out all my life
And not waving but drowning.
#3
No, but last night I wanted desperately to get drunk but I couldn't. Ever have one of those?

I had two glasses of wine, a bottle of cider and four double vodkas, and I'm on antibiotics and painkillers.

(Edit: by no, I mean yes.)
Friends, applaud the comedy is over.


I'd dance with you but...


#4
- Nearly f**ked a extremely annoying and ugly girl.
- Jumped the back fence back in my home, Mum asked "Why did you do that?", I responded with "...err... Because.. it's easier *trips over dog*"
- Puked into my bin; left it there for a day.. (forgot about it) and my room smelt like vomit and Jim Beam for a couple of days.
- Called my friend Emily thinking its my girlfriend Emma... and ..yeah.
- Constantly make an arse out of myself.

I love life.
seriously its fun.
sincewhen??

Quote by Mannypedraza
Today, me and my gf went to the movies. During, i put my hand down her shorts.
I keep smelling my hand as of now....anything wrong with me?
teh pronz
#6
Quote by HelpTravesty
I'm drunk at the moment peoplez.
Enjoy mate.
sincewhen??

Quote by Mannypedraza
Today, me and my gf went to the movies. During, i put my hand down her shorts.
I keep smelling my hand as of now....anything wrong with me?
teh pronz
#7
I was so drunk that I woke up in a small fishing village, 200 miles away from home in a hotel car park with no clothes on. True story.

Quote by hazzmatazz
youmakemesmile...

Quote by sebastian_96
Today I stole a girls tampons for being such an annoying bitch.





MUFC


My love for you
Is like a truck
Berserker.
#8
SHE was so drunk at that party that I was her mistake.
Quote by Ez0ph
That was a different Feb08er that threatened to suck you off
I remember that


Sadly, I was the threatened.
Quote by Firenze


Let it be known that I concur with everything this gentleman says, ever.



www.myspace.com/tarsusmusic
#9
Quote by Zero-Hartman
I was so drunk that I woke up in a small fishing village, 200 miles away from home in a hotel car park with no clothes on. True story.


rape?
#10
I was so drunk that I couldnt feel my teeth (jack+jagermister)
" Did You know, in Tibet, if they want something, do you know what they do? They give something away."

"Do they ? That must be why they're such a dominant global power."
#11
Quote by Hasok
rape?

Possibly, I can't remember. Most drunk I've ever been. *thumbs up*

Quote by hazzmatazz
youmakemesmile...

Quote by sebastian_96
Today I stole a girls tampons for being such an annoying bitch.





MUFC


My love for you
Is like a truck
Berserker.
#12
Some time in 2006 I could have come here and said...

I was so drunk last night that I... couldn't be bothered walking all the way home so me and my mate slept in the middle of a roundabout.
404: Sig not found.
#13
Quote by TooFast
SHE was so drunk at that party that I was her mistake.


That's sad, you should just kill yourself, or rape her, those are your two options.
"Ignorance runs rampant through this virus we call life, dead one day, alive the next, never breaking a stride. As I take it all in and realize, nothing we do can stop it, I release the hatred from my eyes, only to feel it within."
#14
One of the funniest stories I remember was the night the last harry potter book came out.

Me and a load of friends crashed this small party but brought loads of beer and vodka. We made tits out of ourselves in a funny way and it got to 11 (we'd been there for a couple of hours) and me and a friend shared a spliff in the garden.

Ok me and said friend were going to cornwall for a week to get trashed in a caravan, so we had to be up early the next morning to catch our lift there. We remember at about half 11 that harry potter was coming out and we're massive fans, so we ran (yes ran) 4 miles to tesco, which was a 24 hour one.

We stopped for joints along the way and we were so ****ed it took us hours but when we got there my mate puked into a potted plant outside tesco, threw £10 at me and ran from some security guys. He was running round screaming "why are there wizards here? WHY? who are you? Harry. Is that you?!?!" and stupid **** like that.

So I skulked in, banging into everything and pick up two books, take them to the till and this stoned looking dude was there with a wizards hat behind the till. I burst out laughing anbd couldnt stop for about half an hour.

We werent being dicks, it was just hilarious. Then we were by tesco hours from our homes and we had to be somewhere at 6 in a few hours. I phoned my mate and he gace us lifts home to pack, then gave us a lift to wherever we had to be. We slept the entire journey there.

So fun.

RMF


I was much further out than you thought
And not waving but drowning.
I was much too far out all my life
And not waving but drowning.
#15
Quote by TooFast
SHE was so drunk at that party that I was her mistake.



Good one.


I was so drunk that night, that I.... Rolled on the ground from the front yard, To the back porch. Got up to walk to the door, opened door, Walked inside, shut door, got back on the floor and crawled to my bed...Where I later puked randomly about 2-3 times. Woke up with the taste, that was the opposite of winning.

I was 15, A total nub.
Quote by offspring_punk
9/10 Bobo Jenkins just sounds godly in general. I think I'll name my firstborn child that. Male or female.
Last edited by Bobo Jenkins at Mar 6, 2009,
#16
... sobered up and started acting sensibly and rationally but at the same time destroying any chance I may have of creating an interesting anecdote that I could post on an internet forum.
#18
Quote by Zero-Hartman
I was so drunk that I woke up in a small fishing village, 200 miles away from home in a hotel car park with no clothes on. True story.


Damn Anal Rape sux!

1. Well i ran up to a fountain thinking it was covered in stones tried to jump on them and found myself neck deep in water... worst part was it was a suit and tie party.... awkward. 2. when at a night club i ventured into the glasses washing room thinking that it was the toilet and started pissing in the washing machine.... then running dearly for my life. 3. Got thrown out and banned from a bar because i heckled the barman for playing a niel Diamond DVD.4. Fractured my wrist trying to skateboard down a hill (i dont skate).5. Hooked up with a chick got up in the middle of the night and started pissing against the wall thinking it was the toilet (i think i have a problem with this). 5. Ended up in jail because i passed an undercover cop a spliff Thats all i can think of off the top of my head.
PuTTing it StRAIGHt In YOUr MoUTH
#19
Okay...I'll actually tell a story this time...

There's a ****ty as place that we hate to go to called the Mini Nest. We passed by it and I said "Look...balloons!" (there were balloons on the window) This was when we were sober. Well, we ended up going to our usual pub, An Sibin, and did some shots, drank some beer, til we heard about this metal club. We walked over there, about 1/2 a mile away, to find that it's a piece of **** with lord of the rings junk all over the place, so we left there, and walked to a club called 603, a college club. They had cheap shots so I downed 5 shots of tequila in a row.

After we left there, we walked back to An Sibin, til 3:30 when they closed and we started to walk and find a cab. Welllll...we passed by the Mini Nest again, and by this time the three of us were pretty drunk, so I said "OOOO, balloons!" again, not realizing I had said it earlier, and one of my friends started jumping up trying to look into the window, so I just opened the door and walked in. Turns out, a goofy guy with crooked eyes that sells flowers at An Sibin was there, so we started hanging out with him and he bought us a ton of alcohol.

By the end of the night, I was headbanging to rap music with my shirt off and I lost my hat! But it was fun...from what I remember.
"Ignorance runs rampant through this virus we call life, dead one day, alive the next, never breaking a stride. As I take it all in and realize, nothing we do can stop it, I release the hatred from my eyes, only to feel it within."
#20
I was so drunk that night that I.... didn't make it home. Woke up in an abandoned field that I believe was the place where the party I was at, Was being held...
Quote by offspring_punk
9/10 Bobo Jenkins just sounds godly in general. I think I'll name my firstborn child that. Male or female.
#21
Quote by Hasok
rape?


*acts nonchalantly*

*sidles out of thread*
Quote by GLP_Arclite
Pooping is well good though, to be fair.


I've got a handle on the fiction.

I'm losing my grip, 'cos I'm losing my fingers.
#22
Meh, the worst that happened to be was vomiting in front of a lot of people and sleeping on the floor until the next day.

Why can't I wake up next to 2 fat, ugly girls and one dog like the rest of you guys?
#23
Quote by Portuguese_boy
Meh, the worst that happened to be was vomiting in front of a lot of people and sleeping on the floor until the next day.

Why can't I wake up next to 2 fat, ugly girls and one dog like the rest of you guys?


Because you're Portuguese, even the fat girls stay away from guys with tiny dicks.
"Ignorance runs rampant through this virus we call life, dead one day, alive the next, never breaking a stride. As I take it all in and realize, nothing we do can stop it, I release the hatred from my eyes, only to feel it within."
#24
Quote by Bobo Jenkins
Good one.


I was so drunk that night, that I.... Rolled on the ground from the front yard, To the back porch. Got up to walk to the door, opened door, Walked inside, shut door, got back on the floor and crawled to my bed...Where I later puked randomly about 2-3 times. Woke up with the taste, that was the opposite of winning.

I was 15, A total nub.


basically happened to me last week..
except for the rolling
I passed out on the toilet.
Gear:
Fender CP Jazzmaster
Schecter PT Custom w/ Dimarzio crunch lab/liquifire
Marshall JCM2000 DSL+Orange 4x12
Orange Tiny Terror+Mesa Electra Dyne 2x12
Boss TU-2/NS-2/DD-6
Maxon OD808



MY BAND!
#25
Quote by crackhutch
Because you're Portuguese, even the fat girls stay away from guys with tiny dicks.



hohohooooooo....nice
#26
So drunk that I
-Got thrown out of a club (twice)
-Fell down a massive flight of concrete stairs
-Tried to jump down stairs, misjudged, smacked my head of the roof and landed flat on my back
-Threw up (countless times)
-Spilled my change everywhere (twice, I think)
-Lost various items (jackets, keys etc)
-Woke up next to a random girl who, to be brutally honest, wasn't very attractive at all
-Had a hangover for the next two days
-Slept in for uni/work

..and many others
FALKIRK

We'll win something someday

Quote by Minkaro
Falkirk is the home of runners up.

Check out my Tunes
#27
I laid on the grass outside a mate's house throwing up on New Years eve till someone found me outside and dragged me inside.
sometimes I see us in a cymbal splash or in the sound of a car crash
Last edited by JohnnyGenzale at Mar 6, 2009,
#28
I was so drunk that night I woke up in a hedge in Glasgow, over 2 hours away with no phone or wallet. had to phone a taxi home then I ran and hid in the woods for a few hours before going home.
RULE BRITANNIA
#29
Quote by Cobain_Is_King
I was so drunk that night I woke up in a hedge in Glasgow, over 2 hours away with no phone or wallet. had to phone a taxi home then I ran and hid in the woods for a few hours before going home.


Well done
sometimes I see us in a cymbal splash or in the sound of a car crash
#31
Quote by aaciseric
... sobered up and started acting sensibly and rationally but at the same time destroying any chance I may have of creating an interesting anecdote that I could post on an internet forum.


I've had similair experiences.....Generally I get sick too soon, I never end up any further then the drunken rambling fool striding down the street.

The flipside is that you can admire friends who ARE in the "too far gone" status.
Like people falling asleep in alleyways.....or whilst barely hanging onto a fence of some random house while trying to get home.
Or needing to use the iron fences in front of shops (eh, wtf do you call it in english...) to navigate through the town, because you'll drop to the ground if you try otherwise....

Now, my weed and mushroom enduced statuses are storyworthy, but I wouldn't wanna derail this thread.
Last edited by MarauderNL at Mar 6, 2009,
#33
Quote by MarauderNL
The flipside is that you can admire friends who ARE in the "too far gone" status.
Like people falling asleep in alleyways.....or whilst barely hanging onto a fence of some random house while trying to get home.
Or needing to use the iron fences in front of shops (eh, wtf do you call it in english...) to navigate through the town, because you'll drop to the ground if you try otherwise...


This is indeed amazing. I remember that one of my friends tried to rape a mini (yes, the car) while drunk. We found him behind it making strange jerking motions and spanking it. Being the only one who was half-sober, I managed to record it

Apart from that, the ex-drummer of my band was a total alcoholic. He once got into a fight with a stack of chairs outside a restaurant, becuase it was "looking at his girlfriend's ass".
🙈 🙉 🙊
Last edited by entity0009 at Mar 6, 2009,
#34
Quote by entity0009
This is indeed amazing. I remember that one of my friends tried to rape a mini (yes, the car) while drunk. We found him behind it making strange jerking motions and spanking it. Being the only one who was half-sober, I managed to record it

Apart from that, the ex-drummer of my band was a total alcoholic. He once got into a fight with a stack of chairs outside a restaurant, becuase it was "looking at his girlfriend's ass".



"Ignorance runs rampant through this virus we call life, dead one day, alive the next, never breaking a stride. As I take it all in and realize, nothing we do can stop it, I release the hatred from my eyes, only to feel it within."
#35
Quote by crackhutch
Because you're Portuguese, even the fat girls stay away from guys with tiny dicks.


Your mum didn't stay away from me.
Last edited by Portuguese_boy at Mar 6, 2009,
#36
Waking up on the floor round my mates houseand rolling over onto a road sign, then in turn having a skip light fall on my head.
'Always outnumbed, never outgunned'
PSN + XBL: Jimsworthy

Charvel So-Cal ProMod Black
Ibanez RG350Dx W/ Duncans
Blackstar HT Stage 100
ASshdown 4x12
Morley George Lynch Dragon Wah II
#37
Quote by entity0009
This is indeed amazing. I remember that one of my friends tried to rape a mini (yes, the car) while drunk. We found him behind it making strange jerking motions and spanking it. Being the only one who was half-sober, I managed to record it

Apart from that, the ex-drummer of my band was a total alcoholic. He once got into a fight with a stack of chairs outside a restaurant, becuase it was "looking at his girlfriend's ass".

awesome
R.I.P. Les Paul, 1915-2009

A man chooses, a slave obeys.
#38
Quote by Portuguese_boy
Your mum didn't stay away from me.


That's because no matter how big the dick is, she still won't feel it. It was pity sex, get over yourself.
"Ignorance runs rampant through this virus we call life, dead one day, alive the next, never breaking a stride. As I take it all in and realize, nothing we do can stop it, I release the hatred from my eyes, only to feel it within."
#39
Things i have done while drunk-

-had drunk phone conversations
-dropped my phone during one conversation and carried on talking
-fallen over
-had a short nap in a bathtub, fully clothed with no water running
-thrown up
-passed out
-thrown up then passed out in it
-thrown up on someones bed

This was all in one night, some other things i have done-

-had my beer goggles on and tried to chat up a girl, even though she was annoying
-kissed a girl i had a mad crush on but barely remember it
-almost had a fight
-i was once talking to a friend, then casually picked up a wastepaper bin mid sentence, threw up, then carried on talking.
WHOMP

Think of that next time you are not allowed to laugh.
#40
i ended up in a homemade sex tape.

another time, i drove a car over a swingset in my friends back yard