#1
Just wrote this in the last 2 hours and its a rough draft.
Its based around Nikki Sixx from Motley Crue/Sixx AM and what can be read in his book The Heroin Diaries: A Year In The Life Of A Shattered Rock Star.
Big fan of Nikki Sixx and whilst trying to write not long ago I just started to come up with whats below.
Wanna get opinions and what people like and hate about it.
How I can change things or whatever.
Any comments are welcome, thanks.

Year in the Life of a Shattered Rock Star:

Do you, wanna feel this pain again?

Do you, do you wanna bleed life through the knife?

Do you, really need to watch the rain?

Just one chance, you blew it.

All for nothing, right?


(Chorus)
Down on his hands and knees, you struck.

Down and out on his luck, he brought it.

That restless night, you ended it.

Some day, one day....


White Trash Circus bringing it on down.

Another time, another place someone would of thought.

Sex, drugs & Rock 'n' Roll is just a piece of mind.

Who needs the soft touch when rehab is just a step away?


(Chorus)
Down on his hands and knees, you struck.

Down and out on his luck, he brought it.

That restless night, you ended it.

Some day, one day....


Stood a rock star, maybe more.

Losing touch with reality.

Piece by piece.

In touch with insanity.


(Chorus)
Down on his hands and knees, you struck.

Down and out on his luck, he brought it.

That restless night, you ended it.

Some day, one day....


(Spoken)
Paranoia's come and gone.
Love shared between 2 over a substance.
God played his part but you knew if he was there, your be saved.
"When you lost it all, thats when you finally realise, that Life Is Beautiful."
#3
Something tells me this could be a little more deep/complex. I like where you're going, but the verses are too weak imo. Don't take that the wrong wasy, of course. It's good, but not great... try not to use words like pain, knife, etc., as they have become way too overused and therefor cliche. Overall, nice piece, tho. Just work on it a bit

C4C?