#1
Save our Souls

I am 9 years old
I work 12 hours a day
My life is sold and bought
They took my soul away

I have a color TV
I share it with ten other kids
Every night we gather to see
American series and dreams

Save our souls, save our souls
Where is your God now, where is your god now?

My hands are building machines
They build the dreams of the rich
My body is property sold
I am only 9 years old

I have a designer shirt
I made it on my own last week
It’s itchy and turned darker red
The color a kid’s blood should be

Save our souls, save our souls
Where is your God now, where is your god now?

I’ve been braking down, burning down, robbing out
All your fake alarms, bleeding out and shouting loud
I’ve dying fast, dying from hunger, dying from lust
Save our souls at last, save our lives at last
Every form of control over another person is a crime

AEK Athens
Asteras Exarcheion
Prasini Thyella
Rayo Vallecano

RED MILITIA-Vamos a Vencer
#2
This is very good. I love the character of the voice. The only section I'm not so keen on is the chorus, I think it relies too heavily on the fact that it's a chorus so it's got to be catchy and simple. Don't let the structures/formats of songs deter you from writing something more interesting and detailed for a chorus.
Of course, it's not a big deal and I don't dislike it, I just think it could of more in line with the general quality of the rest of the piece.
I really enjoyed this.
#3
The whole song is pretty good...I actually kinda like the chorus it's simple and meaning full.
#4
Quote by AngryGoldfish
This is very good. I love the character of the voice. The only section I'm not so keen on is the chorus, I think it relies too heavily on the fact that it's a chorus so it's got to be catchy and simple. Don't let the structures/formats of songs deter you from writing something more interesting and detailed for a chorus.
Of course, it's not a big deal and I don't dislike it, I just think it could of more in line with the general quality of the rest of the piece.
I really enjoyed this.


I agree with the comments on the chorus, except I do dislike it.
I enjoyed the rest, however.

Could you crit mine if you have the time? It's in my sig.
-