#1
Technically this is the first semi-complete song my band has sat down to write as up until now we've really only been gathering ideas. I call it indie/experimental, because... well I'll come clean.

We tried to mix bits of jazz and other genres [like truely mix, not just smoosh them all together], with "rock" to make an interesting semi-catchy song. but I know if I come in here and start calling this jazz or progressive or anything of the sort I'll be bashed for it lol well I hope not but yeah... We still consider ourselves progressive in a sense, just not the "oh look at us we're so technical" type of prog, our sound is more concepts and ideas based than showing off for sure.

I'd like some crits on my little bluesy solo thing, and general structure/composition that kind of thing. I included some lyrics but I don't need them critised or anything as such, because for the moment I like them as they are. Oh and I would love to know if people think there is anything in this sound/style of music we're going for. Is it any good? lol I know,, i know.. its not metal

Its incomplete and the strange thing at the end after the 8 bar gap is nothing to do with the song . Basically we are aiming for this song to top off around the 4 minute mark, perhaps slightly longer depending on whether we add in an improv section or anything else.

but aaaanyway
enough of me talking. here it is.

Enjoy!
Attachments:
10-2.zip
Last edited by Of_Wolves at Mar 8, 2009,
#2
This is great. Simplistic and full. Ya you should defiantly keep making this kind of music, people always need chillin stuff like this.

Great bass all the way through.

Ok time to nitpick.

During the verse, do something with a guitar, either add a slight melody or some full-note chord strokes, this section just needs a little something more.

The only other this is the solo. Hmm how do I put this? Its decent, but the blues sounds kind of out of place. I would switch to the minor scale as this scale would fit the mood of the song much better.

My only other comments about the solo would be be more OBNOXIOUS and stick to the melody more instead of doing as much dancing up and down the scale(don't remove this thing completely, just reduce it)
#3
Is it possible that vocal melody would fill that gap in the sound?

I mean our pianist improvises a lot around that main little line he has, and that probably adds that little extra in places. We found that with guitars the sound gets rather crowded and takes away from vocals [which are supposed to be the focus of that section, rather than the noodly improvised guitars of the intro].

Thanks for the advice though. I'll make sure to work on the solo [after all it will probably be my solo in the end anyway] and play with some guitar in the verses. I'm also the vocalist in the band, so I'll need to consentrate more on that during the verse but either way... we'll see what we can come up with. It may do to mention that, we tended to take the improvised aspect from certain types of jazz, so there may well be extra notes here and there throughout. Obviously I don't mean we just jam about pointlessly and call it a song, as thats not what we're about, but we work within the limits of the little licks and melodies that we have set out before hand.


hehe.. once again I've started rambling, I'll just stop lol
#4
Thanks for the crit bro

dude, this possibly the best arranged piece of music on the UG forums. in the start i though
it would be some gay wanky piece of crap. the intro really sets the mood. the first verse is cool but in a recorded version id would be cool to have vocals. the bridge. those chords melt my soul man. and the chorus is the same. your use of chords is brilliant!!! and the lead part is so simple yet so effective. bar 41 of ur solo is ausm. 42 sort of works. i can only judge it by lame old guitar pro. im sure in the finished article it will sound really good. 43 - 46 is also really good. its just that 42 that im worried about haha.

Right now for the forbiden section. "IGNORE THIS!! NOT PART OF SONG"

i thought it was as good if not better than the rest and i cant c why ur leaving it out. the bit on 72 is WICKED and could easily lead you into another song thats abit faster
#5
Oh my God!!!


...you lay out the drum tabs just like me. Except... I put the cymbals to the 4th (g-string on guitar) line.

Sounds pretty mellow... but I gotta listen this few times more to really get it.
#6
You really know what you're doing, daaayyyuuummm.
It was really chill, a very pleasant listen.
Nothing was too dominant, each instrument complemented the others quite nicely.

The only thing I think wasn't perfect was the solo? At bar 41 it starts of nicely, the following bit I don't like as much. As The Grem said, the scaling seemed a bit out of place and somewhat took away from the overall feeling of the song imo.

Regardless, this is really freakin' good.

C4C?
#7
That measure 2 is great. Awesome start for the song. The rest of the intro is kinda like some chinese music. Pretty nice. I'd love to hear some vocal melodies over the verse, because as it is... doesn't move me that much. Bridge however it's like an inhale and the chorus is the exhale. Very balanced and smoothens the atmosphere with those great guitar lines. That descending pattern is like a relaxing massage.

The solo is pretty out there... o_O but not too distracting. Quite interesting actually and lifts the song to a new beginning after the chorus.

In a right mood this is really something I'd love to listen.
#8
awesome song. the bass definitely kept the song very alive. the chorus is nice id like to see a vocal melody over it. the solo kicks ass. but YOU NEED TO SOMEHOW PUT THAT PIANO MEDLEY AT THE END IN THERE. that sounds awesome and if you could somehow fluctuate your song to that riff it would be an awesome ending. nice to see a well written song amidst all the NU METAL DEATH CORE SONGS that over populate this forum.