#1
C4C. leave a link. i've been writing a fair bit lately and my random stream-of-consciousness decided to churn this out.


downtown tokyo drift gone wrong - watch the green blur
think "grass", perceive the spirals
of the clear fluid, clear eyes watching the plunge.
cracks in the concrete
... foretell.

disaster to one, traffic for a thousand.
if anyone cared...
memory's gone blank...
(now ease out into the highway and floor it)
planed out at about **** knows what...
didn't get a chance to right himself...
may god have mercy on his soul...
"i've been thinking about getting my driver's license..."
a burned-out hulk at the side of a now deserted Alaskan road.

how easy it is to trivialize... black ice maybe...
"can we go for a drive?"
lightheaded... gallows thoughts... conscious streams...
"oh my god, what happened?"
who knows, lady? ask someone who cares...
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#2
I like the scattered feeling, but I think you need more of it,
it's sorta mixed up, just like a car wreck, but it's not mixed up enough, you know ?

the dialogue doesn't really seem to fit in here, along with
"planed out at about **** knows what..."

"disaster to one, traffic for a thousand."
This is my favorite line here, but it seems a bit jumpy when you read it,
really, the entire piece does, there's not much flow here

Other than all that, it's pretty decent and I like it