#1
Please excuse all the extra letters i wrote it this way on the computer so i would remember how it went. C4C


Mother may i please just say one thinggg...
I never, In all my vehemence meant a thing against youuu.

Now i sit here, contemplating the truuuth.
And i beg to take it back.
And i beg to take it back!

I never meant those things i said.
All those mistakes, all those things i did
And i beg to take them back.
and i beg to take them all back!

Lover may i please say just one thinggg.
Lover may i pleease apologize for all of my wrong doiiings.
I never meant to hurt you.

I never meant to say all those words that sting.
And i beg to take it back.
And i beg to take it back!

All those lies that came out of my mouth.
Al those stories i told to manipulate
Im so sorry for my actions
And im trying to repent
If you would please understand

Id do anything to change the way things went
Im so sorry for my mistakes

I regret every false step i took
If only you would understand
I would do everything to rewrite my book
Erase the mistakes, erase the mistaakes

Now i know i cant ignore my past
I cant turn a blind eye to things ive done

I now understand
that finishing first doesn't mean ive won
I never meant those things i said.
All those mistakes, all those things i did

And i beg to take them back.
And i beg to take them all back!
#2
After reading it a couple of times I started to like it. But the first time I did though it was very confusing. The extra letters on words messes up the flow of the whole piece. I know you have your reasons for it but I just wanted to put my 2 cents on that. The title is a little off. Did you mean gave me this mindset or was that intentional too? The repetition of "And i beg to take it back!" makes the piece very powerful because you can actually feel the emotion coming from it when you read it. I liked that a lot. The excessive use of "I" bothers the hell out of me but it seems essential to the piece.
I enjoyed reading it. It sounds like it could be a good song with some heavy guitars and double bass pedaling backing it and some raw vocals. Would love to hear a recording of it if it is indeed meant to be a song.


https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1083871
^link to my post. Looking forward to a crit coming from ya. Ciaoo
#3
I liked this one, it is really powerful.
I can really feel the emotion coming out of this song, and the sincerity of it.
Nice work