#1
this a weird topic but sometimes Stuff happens and you just cant tell anybody, but this is the pit and least for me IDK nor probably will ever meet any of yall so here it goes


4th or 5th grade i was takin a leak when i felt a sharp pain, honestly i thought it was a zipper incident, all could picture was that scene from something about mary, anyway a week or so goes by and my junk is expanding in a odd and very fast manner.... i didnt know what the hell to do or think because within a week i was caring around a normal shaft with a head as big as my fist.... i remember thinking if i had sex i wouldnt be able to get this thing out id get stuck. Back then i knew nothing about STDs or anything like that but luckly within a 2nd weeks time it had back to normal and i was totally relieved

this ones not that bad, sometime last year, also takin piss this time in college and i feel something underneath, and im like What the hell is that a vein or a third nut, i couldnt flip my junk over and check cause theres was a guy pissin right next to me., but thoughts of the new girl ive been creepin with came to mind along with her reputation so needless to say i was scared. so i get home later that day and sure enough a big bump but turns out to be a big pimple, no clue how it got there, pretty gross it wasnt a pretty sight when i popped it and tried not to scream

and this one is the now! i went to the beach today and did quite of bit a of skim boarding, and like most guys i just where board shorts no boxers or anything like that. well i guess with 3 or 4 hours at the beach plus me doin alot of running plus my junk floppin around plus SAND = equals a very bad night for me.... cause now the head of my hammer feels like its been scrubbed down with sand paper and i cant walk without holding my shorts up. this crap is miserable so much for gettin laid tonight, aint nothing i can do but wait it out and try not to walk so funny tomorrow at school

over the course of your life im sure you've all had a scare or two, like i said nobody knows each other here so dont be shy maybe we can answer some of your unanswered questions
#3
Quote by SoftOath
...wtf?

i second that
everything purple tastes like grape
everything blue tastes like blueberry
everything pink tastes like watermelon
everything red tastes like strawberry
everything orange tastes like orange
everything yellow tastes like lemon
#5
Well, I've actually been kinda freaked lately..... My right nut has pains sometimes for a whole day at a time. It comes in waves, and jackin' it seems to relieve it. I'm kinda confused, and a bit scared(maybe unnecessarily) that it's testicular cancer. I'll have to look into this...
Quote by ewp805
^^^Ladies and gentlemen, I give you Ted!^^^


Monsterbeast is fat and ugly.
#8
Quote by haste the day
Well, I've actually been kinda freaked lately..... My right nut has pains sometimes for a whole day at a time. It comes in waves, and jackin' it seems to relieve it. I'm kinda confused, and a bit scared(maybe unnecessarily) that it's testicular cancer. I'll have to look into this...


Sounds like a recurring case of teh blue balls.
*Insert witty boisterous relic of seemingly useless allegory for means of simply amusing a random personage*

My babies:

Epiphone Les Paul (Honeyburst)
Fender MiM Strat (Classic Black/White)
Epiphone Riviera (Wine Red)
#9
Dude that first one is somthing you tell a doctor about IMMEDIATELY. If you value having a penis that is...
"Good and evil lay side by side as electric love penetrates the sky"
#10
Quote by haste the day
Well, I've actually been kinda freaked lately..... My right nut has pains sometimes for a whole day at a time. It comes in waves, and jackin' it seems to relieve it. I'm kinda confused, and a bit scared(maybe unnecessarily) that it's testicular cancer. I'll have to look into this...



or random bouts of blue balls....
#13
Personally, I don't feel safe revealing anything about my junk in the Pit...
Church burning is good for the (social) environment

_██_
(ಠ_ృ--------


Quote by theknuckster
It's like you take vodka, and then dilute it down until it's pretty much water, but still call it vodka, and proceed to pretend to get heavily wasted off it.
#15
Quote by NightEmbers
this a weird topic but sometimes Stuff happens and you just cant tell anybody, but this is the pit and least for me IDK nor probably will ever meet any of yall so here it goes


4th or 5th grade i was takin a leak when i felt a sharp pain, honestly i thought it was a zipper incident, all could picture was that scene from something about mary, anyway a week or so goes by and my junk is expanding in a odd and very fast manner.... i didnt know what the hell to do or think because within a week i was caring around a normal shaft with a head as big as my fist.... i remember thinking if i had sex i wouldnt be able to get this thing out id get stuck. Back then i knew nothing about STDs or anything like that but luckly within a 2nd weeks time it had back to normal and i was totally relieved

♪♫♪
92% percent of the teen population would be dead if Hollywood said it wasn't cool to breathe anymore.
Put this in your signature if you are one of the 92% who wouldn't be breathing.
#16
But whats confusing is why I'm getting the blue balls. I don't get it
Quote by ewp805
^^^Ladies and gentlemen, I give you Ted!^^^


Monsterbeast is fat and ugly.
#17
Quote by haste the day
But whats confusing is why I'm getting the blue balls. I don't get it


Do you get alot of half assed fucking from chicks who won't let you finish?

If so there's your problem.
*Insert witty boisterous relic of seemingly useless allegory for means of simply amusing a random personage*

My babies:

Epiphone Les Paul (Honeyburst)
Fender MiM Strat (Classic Black/White)
Epiphone Riviera (Wine Red)
#20
Quote by physicsdummy
Do you get alot of half assed fucking from chicks who won't let you finish?

If so there's your problem.


i would hope that he knows at least this much... but i guess he doesnt... fail.
#22
what? what? what? what? man youre freakin wierd. and pls, a knob the size of a fist? you should be dead

[quote="'[x"]Huffy[x]']Just give up, because Callo just destroyed you.
Quote by daytripper75
if i am not pooping, i stand to pee. if i am pooping, it makes more sense to just sit down in the first place.


CALLO

#23
Quote by NightEmbers


and this one is the now! i went to the beach today and did quite of bit a of skim boarding, and like most guys i just where board shorts no boxers or anything like that. well i guess with 3 or 4 hours at the beach plus me doin alot of running plus my junk floppin around plus SAND = equals a very bad night for me.... cause now the head of my hammer feels like its been scrubbed down with sand paper and i cant walk without holding my shorts up. this crap is miserable so much for gettin laid tonight, aint nothing i can do but wait it out and try not to walk so funny tomorrow at school




i had something like that happen to me once. it was terrible.
#24
Quote by Callo
what? what? what? what? man youre freakin wierd. and pls, a knob the size of a fist? you should be dead



lol you dont believe me, hell i wouldnt believe me if it wasnt attached to me for a week, but i was in fifth grade my fist wasnt That big... of course it was heavy as hell


XD Testy
#26
Quote by haste the day
Well, I've actually been kinda freaked lately..... My right nut has pains sometimes for a whole day at a time. It comes in waves, and jackin' it seems to relieve it. I'm kinda confused, and a bit scared(maybe unnecessarily) that it's testicular cancer. I'll have to look into this...

Or a hernia. Does it happen when you go to the restroom or throw up? I doubt you throw up all too often, but I was sick when I had my hernia and it set it off.

Before my hernia got fixed, it was the size of a testicle.
#27
Quote by ColdNovembeRain
Or a hernia. Does it happen when you go to the restroom or throw up? I doubt you throw up all too often, but I was sick when I had my hernia and it set it off.

Before my hernia got fixed, it was the size of a testicle.



Naw, it's like a constant pain. As mentioned before, it's pretty much like blue balls. it's like you flicked your nut, but the pain lingers the whole day haha
Quote by ewp805
^^^Ladies and gentlemen, I give you Ted!^^^


Monsterbeast is fat and ugly.
#29
Quote by drunkinkoala
I had a mosquito bite on the head of my dong once.


If that happened to me I would consider myself lucky, because that is the only action I would ever receive in my life.
#30
Quote by haste the day
Naw, it's like a constant pain. As mentioned before, it's pretty much like blue balls. it's like you flicked your nut, but the pain lingers the whole day haha


I think I know what your talking about, and since you've already taken to choking your monkey to relieve it, take a **** as well. This happened to me twice, and it was the 2nd time that I figured it stopped aching once I sent the Cosby family on its way down.
#31
one time ground beef came out
Quote by happytimeharry
you're asking UG for advice on what to do with your life? Prepare to have a career as a fluffer in the porn industry...
#32
Quote by Primate-Primus
one time ground beef came out


I have nothing to say about your comment, but Primus related user names FTW, yes?

On topic, I got hit there with a football once.
~don't finkdinkle when ur supposed to be dimpdickin~
#33
I've had a UTI where i got a charlie horse in my 3rd leg. Not a pleasant at all.

This isn't really physically painful but kinda a blow to my ego but a fat chick gave me a hand job on my friends roof and I think the people across the street were watching
Quote by Kensai





Quote by Lots O' FX
Why do you hate America?
#34
i once zipped up fast and ripped a bunch of pubes out

i started trimming them after that
Gear
Guitar

Ibanez Art100
Amp
Peavey Valveking 212
Effects
Dunlop Slash Wah
EHX Metal Muff
#36
Quote by jake911
If that happened to me I would consider myself lucky, because that is the only action I would ever receive in my life.


....A mosquito bite? Bite? Oh fuuuu
[Sig goes here]