#1
Ok last edits are done, this is the final product, any final thoughts?

Rich Man

White sand on the central seas,
Salt baked on my skin.
Birds fly down the western shoreline,
As the tide comes rollin’ in.


I’ve got a little place up the road from here,
Where I like to go and rest my head.
It’s got a roof, it’s got four walls,
And It’s got a four post bed.
There ain’t no TV, there ain’t no pool,
Driveways got no fancy cars.
But it’s easy to see that I’ve got what I need,
And it’s enough by far.


You don’t have to be rich,
To be a rich man, no.
You don’t have to sit in the rain,
in hopes of pots of gold.
If you give up,
On what you’re hunting for.
You can find it all waiting for you,
Right at home.
Right at home.


My treasure chest isn’t packed to impress,
With all the things that you might consider the best.
My day to day may be your complete mess,
But if you ask me, I’m just blessed.
Too blessed to be stressed.
Too blessed to be stressed.


You don’t have to be rich,
To be a rich man, no.
You don’t have to sit in the rain,
in hopes of pots of gold.
If you give up,
On what you’re hunting for.
You can find it all waiting for you,
Right at home.
Right at home.

You may not believe it,
There are some who can’t perceive it.
But I can guarantee,
I found my bliss for free.

In the end,
I’m in your hands my friend.
Your heart of gold and the treasures you bleed.
As my time draws near,
While you’re standing here.
I’m a rich man indeed.

You don’t have to be rich,
To be a rich man, no.
You don’t have to sit in the rain,
in hopes of pots of gold.
If you give up,
On what you’re hunting for.
You can find it all waiting for you,
Right at home.
Right at home.
#2
Wow. At first I thought this was a stereotypical (yet well written) country song about being happy with the simple things, you don't need money to be happy, etc. Which isn't a bad thing, you actually did a great job of writing a SONG as opposed to a poem. I could here the whole damn thing in my head. nice.

But then, I read this verse a couple of times:

In the end,
I’m in your hands my friend.
Your heart of gold and the treasures you bleed.
As my time draws near,
While you’re standing here.
I’m a rich man indeed.


That's a lot more than "everything I need is right at home". That verse just breathed a whole new level of meaning into your piece, and added a serious undertone to the song. very, very well done! There's a lot to be said for subtlety.

--jay