#1
I’ve got a rush through my fingers
Lightning through my veins
Hands run up and down the neck
Prince of Purple Rain

Enjoyed this feeling for a half decade
Rocks me to the core
I know I’ll be playing forever
It’s opened up new doors

Let out rhythm
Let out soul
Let out self

My compositions are trophies on my bedroom shelf

Brings out sound
Brings out music
Brings out FREEDOM

Freedom to be myself
Why would I ever want to be someone else?
Living life reminds me who I am
My favorite thing with all my friends is to relax and jam
Getting into Fredonia, had to climb a steeple
I’m glad…
In the dorms, there are more guitars than people


What do you guys think?
#3
Prince fan?
Quote by ultimatedaver
We're just trying to help man, cause it doesn't seem like you can get any pizza.
#4
kick ass if its a metal song. Great job, maybe give some of my recordings a listen.
LIFE IS TOO SHORT NOT TO LET YOUR MIND SPREAD WINGS AND TAKE FLIGHT

Quote by KeepOnRotting
+Infinity. This dude knows good metal.
#5
I’ve got a rush through my fingers
Lightning through my veins
Hands run up and down the neck
Prince of Purple Rain
[is this an actual prince reference? cause, you know, technically prince is the prince of purple rain, in that it was his movie.]

Enjoyed this feeling for a half decade
Rocks me to the core
I know I’ll be playing forever
It’s opened up new doors
[the core/door rhyme feels very forced to me. you might want to rethink such a rigid rhyme scheme, rather than having it sound awkward.]

Let out rhythm
Let out soul
Let out self

My compositions are trophies on my bedroom shelf
[same as above. self/shelf is a VERY common rhyme, and i've never seen it really make sense or work. i would suggest avoiding this rhyme altogether.]

Brings out sound
Brings out music
Brings out FREEDOM

Freedom to be myself
Why would I ever want to be someone else?
Living life reminds me who I am

My favorite thing with all my friends is to relax and jam
[this line, however, kills me. the syllables seem off, the phrase 'jam' is one that destroys my ears, and the rhyme feels forced again. i'd say another look here would be helpful.]
Getting into Fredonia, had to climb a steeple
I’m glad…
In the dorms, there are more guitars than people
[ha! fredonia. i'm in rochester, but i know a few people who play music in fredonia. actually, i played at a house there a few months ago. do you know paul's grandfather, by chance?]


What do you guys think?

the only other thing: is there a steeple in fredonia, or was this to rhyme with people?

overall, i think you're biggest thing would be to not worry so much about rhyming. it can definitely lead to awkwardness and cliches. i do appreciate the feeling here, tho. you definitely get the idea that playing music is what you love the most and, it seems, makes live bearable at times. keep it up!
#6
I know this is a late response to a thread I posted months ago, but I actually do know paul's grandfather now. I actually thought you meant the grandfather of a kid named paul, and I got really confused. I saw them play at the hairy lemon a few nights ago, and paul (who the band is not named after) is an awesome cello player in the music program here with me.