First things first, it's a working title. I'll come up with a real one once I have lyrics.

The song itself is still a work in progress. I'm considering continuing on with it, which is why the last bar is labeled as Section IV.

Section one is mainly just some plain tremelo picked riffs, since the main focus in that section will be the lyrics.

I'd like to say that the following interlude was influenced by Insomnium (since the chord progression used in the first section was almost a direct rip off of Dying Chant) but it seems a little more out there.

I think the way the interlude shifts into the next part is simply amazing, I want to know if other people think so as well

This whole song (aside from the beginning part) is a little more out there, in fact. Lots of scale changes and time signature changes towards the later part of it.

And it has a pretty kickass solo, the second one I've ever written.

C4C, leave a link and I'll get back to you.

Thanks in advance
Last edited by jetfuel495 at Mar 11, 2009,
Firstly, I haven't got a song for you to crit, so for that I apologise.

I gave your song a listen. For the most part I thought it was good.

My only criticisms are these:

1) The transition from the intro to the first verse sounded a bit disjointed to me with the 4 beat break in measure 17.

2) I thought the solo could've been a bit more melodic and followed the themes set out earlier in the song (such as in the verse 3 and the interlude) a bit more closely. Whilst it is sort of flashy with all the notes in contains (I felt) it lacked meaning.

3) Lastly, the section after the solo (Section III) felt disjointed as well, like you were starting a completely different song. After the initial melody (measures 139-146) was over it got some feel back but you could quite easily have repeated previous sections of the song (i.e the intro theme with distortion) and gotten the same effect.

Melodic death metal isn't my specialty so I might be missing the point completely but those are my views all the same. If you got rid of the disjointedness in the intro/outro sections and put a bit more melody into the solos I could not fault your song.
-Bars 1-16 make for a good intro. Melodic, kind of melancholy-sounding ish. I like how the overlapping guitar parts make for an almost delayish kind of effect. Reminds me of Dark Tranquility.
-Verse is pretty good. Simple, but a nice melody.
-Good chorus, although I wouldn't necessarily say it really sounds like a full on chorus. Idk, fits the song and sounds good though. Just a minor thing about it though; with the melody, it reverts back to the A on each of the bars. Sounds a tad better to my ears if on bar 27, A on the 2nd string is replaced with a G on the 3rd. The next bar would have the A replaced with a D on the 3rd string. Idk, doesn't really make too much of a difference, sounds good either way.
-The chorus transitions nicely back into the verse, and I like the use of clean guitar in the chorus after that.
-The interlude after that I like a lot, and flows well into the 3rd verse.
-Bars 84-119 are all good, I like your sense of melody.
-Solos aren't bad, but there's not a whole lot that really stands out. I do like some of the melodies though, so that's good. Epic and uplifting, in a way.
-The transition to section 3 could have been done much better though, so you might wanna redo that. As G-Dog_666 said, it's kind of disjointed.
-Section 3 is very epic though, so that's good. It kind of reminds me of BTBAM, actually. Points for that.
-Verse 2 I'm not sure how I feel about, it's kinda cool but maybe a tad repetitive? Idk.
-Good breakdown.

Keep at it with the rest of song, what I've heard so far is really good. I hope to hear the completed version someday soon.

Last edited by AA00P at Mar 11, 2009,
Ok, so I was gonna do a crit-as-i-listen thingy, but I usually start rambling on about shite when I do that, so i'll try it this way

Erm, I listened to it all the way through and I really loved the song... Until Section III started. For me it just like.. totally doesnt fit with the song. It changes the feel too much for my liking.

I personally wouldve ended the song after the clean part after the solo. Maybe add a couple of variations of that clean part then end on a chord, that way the solo would stick in your mind more too imo.
Not quite sure if that made sense but yeah..

I'd give you 10/10 for the song up until section III, then about 5/10 for the rest.

Oh, I also love the verses
Intro - no problems. I really liked it, especially when the third track came in. The transition at bar 17 was great too. Had that punched in the face feeling.

Bar 25 - The two chords at the end of the bar were a little too harsh and ruined the transition into the next segment.

Im lovin the tremolo riff. Very awesome.

Jazz guitar interlude was also very good. Gave me kind of a dizzy feeling almost. So far though this isnt sounding very deathmetalish though.

Bars 68 - 82 Very catchy. I liked how you have the guitarists switching riffs back and forth. This could make for a good stage trick at a show!

Bar 83 - again with the two chords at the end

Bars 84 - 109 - This is my favorite part of the song! Cant help but tap my foot along with it. Drum work really accentuates the riffs.

Bars 110 - 119 - Again very cool switching back and forth from jazz to distortion. This kind of stuff makes crowds go wild!

Solo - Haha I had to laugh at this The solo was fantastic, extremely catchy, but far from deathmetal. I feel like a kid playing at a candy factory or a circus while listening to it hahaha. My only critique would be at bar 119 try to put something in that silence. Silence right before a solo as fast as that catches you off guard and doesnt complement the solo as well as an actual transition. Just a thought

Bar 137 - Good place to end the song.

Bar 138 - Should be the intro to an entirely different song.

Bar 139 - 154 Holy rock anthem! Once again very good riffs. I would add some more drums though.

Bars 155 - 163 Gets a little repetitive. I would shorten it to only 4 measures.

Bars 164 - 170 Same as above

Bar 171 - Im liking the tempo change

Bar 171 - End Hahahaha can you say Mathcore? Still very good though, very smooth way to end.

Overall I think that if you cut the song in half and made two songs out of it, you would have to fantastic songs. Not very deathmetal though IMO. But that could just be me. 8/10

Crit as I listen (for once)

Intro - Amazing, getting a big Dark Tranquilty vibe (which is good ). The transition works well.

Verse - Very good for vocals, nice job.

Chorus - Pretty catchy man, nothing too spectacular but still quality stuff.

Nice use of clean guitar in that second chorus. Beautiful interlude follows as well ! As you said, this is a really good transition; to an amazing Verse riff.

Bridge - Different but it fits in pretty nicely.

Section II - Kind of different from the rest of the song, but I still like it. The interlude after that riff is hand's down my favourite part of the song.

SOLOZ!! - Wow. That is all.

Section III - This should be a new song. Kind of happy here, which is a cool change from most stock melodeath. Verse is aiight.

Bridge - I love the bridge change up, br00tally happy. Verse II riff is really ****ing cool, but not so melodeath (which is fine :p.

Breakdown is good, not enough chugging for my likes but I like deathcore, so my opinion isn't valid .

OVERALL, superb job, 9/10.
We can only guffaw at all the humbug we are told about martyrs.