#1
This is the song that comes to you when you're contemplating about whether the breakup was your fault or hers.
Enjoy.

So throw away your ring and
Say goodbye to everything
Because I know that you know
No one here cannot bring

An empty verse of a story untold
And nothing here will ever unfold

And I regret that nothing I do
Can ever do what he cannot do
So put on your crown and make it fast
There's nothing wrong with coming second to last

So scream it out and
Yell and shout
And maybe someone will pretend that they
Give a look and carry on
There's something about you
Makes me say "So Long"

So long to smiles and
So long to laughter
So long to everything about her
So put on your crown and make it fast
There's nothing wrong with coming second to last

I'll be sure when I see your smile
That you'll be ready, for awhile
And I'll wait for that chance
To start again, and end this winter romance

Yours was mine and
Mine was yours and
Something went wrong lying on floors
Giving up these ties that you came to sever
Best friends forever means friends for never
Last edited by iplaythefish at Mar 11, 2009,
#2
So throw away your ring and
Say goodbye to everything
Because I know that you know
No one here cannot bring

I like this first verse, except the last line. it feels like a very forced rhyme.

An empty verse of a story untold
And nothing here will ever unfold

Once again, great concept and all, but forced and predictable rhyme

And I regret that nothing I do
Can ever do what he cannot do
So put on your crown and make it fast
There's nothing wrong with coming second to last

Its been done before, many times, but this has a ring to it. it stands out and i like it.

So scream it out and
Yell and shout
And maybe someone will pretend that they
Give a look and carry on
There's something about you
Makes me say "So Long"

kind of...cool. but makes no sense to me. maybe im just stupid? but anyway, nonsense that almost makes sense is GREAT, but not in a song like this, where everything else is so straightfoward.

So long to smiles and
So long to laughter
So long to everything about her
So put on your crown and make it fast
There's nothing wrong with coming second to last

this i LOVE. Do more like this

I'll be sure when I see your smile
That you'll be ready, for awhile
And I'll wait for that chance
To start again, and end this winter romance

Much stronger verse than the others. says what it means to say. i like it. however, you've come back to those forced rhymes.

Yours was mine and
Mine was yours and
Something went wrong lying on floors
Giving up these ties that you came to sever
Best friends forever means friends for never

BEST verse in the song. think it should end with a chorus type thing though. or at least the words "second to last"


all in all, a very generic song. but very well said, and emotional. i like it. but needs work. 6/10


please crit "Fake" in my sig