#1
Well, I think the title explains it. I have one from a couple days ago.

I went to GC with a friend who's thinking of picking up some drums soon. So, when we were done trying drums, I tried some basses, and this conversation ensued.

: I think I'll try that one next (points to Ibanez Iceman)
: Which one?
: The one that looks like a can opener.
: Oh, that one. I see.

I know, not comic gold or anything, but it was amusing.

Also one time in my high school psychology class I gave a group presentation, and one of the facts was that at-the-time Presidential candidate John Kerry used to play bass in a band. The girl who said this said 'bass guitar', pronouncing bass like the fish. The teacher said something along the lines of "I didn't know you could use a fish like that" or something sarcastic.
Schecter Hellraiser V1 / Schecter Stiletto Extreme 4 / Gallien Krueger 400RB / Hartke Transporter 4x10 / Digitech BP200 / Pod Studio GX
#2
Cute more than funny--but here it goes.

I was recently at the studio and there was a new 6 year old guitar student. Now you have to realize I'm only about 5' 4" tall.

Student (looking at my Stingray): What's that?
Me: An Electric bass guitar
Student (to his Mom): oooh, I told you I wanted to play bass, that's cool!
Mom: Well honey, you're a bit too small right now. That bass is bigger than you.
Student: So when I get as tall as Tam I can play bass?
Mom: (Laughing) yes.

His teacher is now threatening to hang a sign in the studio at the 5'4" level saying "You must be this tall to play bass"
#3
Quote by anarkee
His teacher is now threatening to hang a sign in the studio at the 5'4" level saying "You must be this tall to play bass"

sig goes here
#4
Quote by anarkee
His teacher is now threatening to hang a sign in the studio at the 5'4" level saying "You must be this tall to play bass"


I'm tempted to sig that.
Twitter: ScottWotton
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#5
Friend A hates on AC/DC because you can't hear the bass at all. Friend B gets in an argument with Friend A and tells me about it. Friend B says 'he was talking about how it was 3 power chords and no bass'. I say 'what did you say to him?'. Friend B says 'I have no idea what a bass is so I called him gay.' lol...
Quote by DempseyPunk
I thought i saw jesus doing the same thing. He wasnt disguised as a hobo though, he just looked like jesus. He asked me for about tree fiddy. Then it hit me. It wasnt no jesus, it was that god dam loch ness monster.
#6
I don't actually play bass but I figured this would give you guys a giggle. This video is of a band from my area called Arlington Sleeps playing at the Cornerstone festival.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SzQ4CeSc9OU

Watch the bass player (red shirt) at about 1:05.

I found it humorous because the band has around $15,000+ in equipment and makes themselves out to be this huge signed band or something and they're really not much to write home about :X

When I played a show with them they actually blew the power in the venue from how much extra lighting and crap they had running.

Gear:
Agile AL-2000 > Maxon OD808 > Boss DD-20 > Strymon blueSky > Splawn Pro Stock > Emperor 4x12

the lives to come

#8
Being a bassist, the joke of "you cant hear you anyway" always tends to come about.

My band got to play this huge show in front of my senior class.

After playing through our first song, I looked at our sound girl, she told me to turn by bass up just a little bit.
Well, my bass input had come slightly out of my OD pedal, thus, I had no sound for the entire song =/

So now people joke about how I play not-plugged in.
#9
Quote by .oxygen
So now people joke about how I play not-plugged in.


Haha, yeah a few years ago a good friend of mine played bass in a local band. When their first show came around he had only practiced with them once or twice so he didn't know the songs that well. When it came time to play they actually had him turn his bass all the way down and move like crazy during their entire set while making it look like he was actually playing.

Apparently, afterwards, people were coming up to them asking where they got that new bassist and raving about how awesome he was. :X

Gear:
Agile AL-2000 > Maxon OD808 > Boss DD-20 > Strymon blueSky > Splawn Pro Stock > Emperor 4x12

the lives to come

#10
I was at a gig where Aiden were opening (not for me, I was watching...) and their bassist's rig failed, and he worked this out about half way through, and when he did he just swung the bass around himself on its strap for the rest of the set...
#11
The same thing happened to my guitarist when he was in his first band a good few years ago.
Let's just say he wasn't the best musician back then, and during their first gig the other guitarist turned off his amp before they started :L

Awful thing to do, but it was hilarious for everyone else.
#13
Back when I played guitar our bassist set an amp on fire at Guitar Center.

We were shopping around for a rig for him and the salesman directed him to some Berhinger that was on sale for $129. Kept going on about how it's reliable and great tone for the price blah blah blah.

Bassist plugs in, can't get a note.
Turns all the dials up, checks the volume pot on his bass, nothing.
Salesman fiddles with the cord, bassist slaps the E, gets one farty sounding note and this huge Hiroshima-esque cloud comes up from the back of the amp. You could actually see the salesman's ego deflate. It was like that scene in the movies where a guy walks into the bar and the music comes to a screeching halt and everyone gets quiet. All the sudden everyone on that end of the store stops playing and starts snickering. Salesman goes "Erm.... lemmie show you to the Hartkes......"

The best part was me and the other guitarist at the time convinced him that he slapped too loud and broke the amp so he was gonna have to buy it (did I mention he was gullable?).

Great stuff
-Guitar Gear-
1995 American Fender Strat, EMG 85 pup
Randall RH200 Head
Marshall 1960a Cab
Woods Acoustic
-Bass Gear-
Spector Legend 4 bass
Washburn Bantam bass
Hartke HA2500
Fender Bassman 410H
Play what you love, love what you play
Last edited by Garou1911 at Mar 12, 2009,
#14
Quote by Garou1911
Back when I played guitar our bassist set an amp on fire at Guitar Center.


That was hilarious.

Gear:
Agile AL-2000 > Maxon OD808 > Boss DD-20 > Strymon blueSky > Splawn Pro Stock > Emperor 4x12

the lives to come

#15
Best part is, it was a Berhinger.
I have:
Acoustic B200H+B115 cab, Schecter Stiletto Custom 4, Rondo Fretless, Boss EQ-7.

Some men just want to watch the world burn. And they work at Behringer.
#16
Quote by samskii
Best part is, it was a Berhinger.


the next time someone tries to sell me a behringer, im gonna set it on fire myself...

x
Fender Geddy Lee Jazz
Warwick Corvette $$
Rockbass Streamer Fretless
Hartke HA5000
SWR Triad

Quote by Victory2134
I happen to enjoy every mankiss from shinhoman.
#17
Quote by .oxygen
Being a bassist, the joke of "you cant hear you anyway" always tends to come about.

My band got to play this huge show in front of my senior class.

After playing through our first song, I looked at our sound girl, she told me to turn by bass up just a little bit.
Well, my bass input had come slightly out of my OD pedal, thus, I had no sound for the entire song =/

So now people joke about how I play not-plugged in.


Question is, how did you not notice that you were not creating any sound. It's pretty easy to tell when there is no noise coming from a bass amp.
Gear:
EBMM Bongo HS 4
EBMM Sting Ray 5
Eden D410T
Tech 21 Sansamp RBI
Tech 21 Sansamp RPM
Art 341 Dual Channel EQ
QSC GX5 Power Amp
#18
This kid at school sees me with my bass, I play in the jazz band, he squats as i am sitting on the floor, starts talking at me and my friends. I'm sitting there doodlying on the bass. He says "I can't tell if he's a good bassist, i don't know anyone to compare him too" then he says something like "Do you even use past the 12th fret? I thought the point of a bass was to be bassy" I SHOULD have said something like "Then the electric guitar would be called a treble guitar?" but i proceeded to ask what his favorite bands were. First thing from his mouth is "red hot chili peppers" i just looked down and told him to google it.
#19
Quote by kschaef
I don't actually play bass but I figured this would give you guys a giggle. This video is of a band from my area called Arlington Sleeps playing at the Cornerstone festival.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SzQ4CeSc9OU

Watch the bass player (red shirt) at about 1:05.

I found it humorous because the band has around $15,000+ in equipment and makes themselves out to be this huge signed band or something and they're really not much to write home about :X

When I played a show with them they actually blew the power in the venue from how much extra lighting and crap they had running.


lol.
what a tool.
i cant stand the whole "omgz, lets all synchronize our bodies during the breakdowns so we look uber hXc!"
the hardcore scene is such a fad, its a big popularity contest thats all about image.