hey guys, this is a rough draft of a song i wrote.

Among the fallen stars
I have seen your face
and among the the flames
of my dearest city burned
i have seen....
The filth of your twisted words!

The lies that slide from your tongue,
Gracefully deceive the hearts of mortal men
I cant imagine why.
I shall not submit to slavery,
and i shall not obey your ****ing lies

Among the piles of dead
i have seen the scars of your tyranny,
and among once full seas of knowledge,
I see the emptiness of hope,
for despair grips our hearts,
and Deceit blinds our eyes!

I shall not submit to slavery[x4]

its really rough, but im thinking of using it for a song for my band.

so any help with revisions would be helpful
Quote by rockybo
I'm making an igloo in my backyard later and smoking a bong in it.