#1
I'm currently in a band with two other guys. We've been going on and off for about the past three years. I wish our drummer was better (he's all we could find) but he doesn't completely suck and he at least gets the job done. Other than that though, we sound good. That's the thing though...we just sound good. And that's my question, is just sounding good enough of a reason to stay in a band? Lately I've felt so detached from these guys. There isn't really much friendship in the band anymore. We've all changed as people and it isn't as fun...it feels like we're just going through the motions.

I'm the songwriter and play guitar and sing, but on the side I also play drums and bass. I enjoy playing all of them. And because I've been feeling detached, increasingly I've been having thoughts of wanting to leave the band, record the songs with me playing every instrument (I have all the recording equipment & this is appealing to me because I can do whatever I want, however I want) and then put a band together later on and play the material live.

My problem is, right now, I'm still with these guys and I don't know what to do. Like I said, we sound fine enough, but it just feels like we're going through the motions. I can't see myself being out on tour with these guys. I can't see myself having any good times with them. Deep down, I just don't feel like we're the right combination of people to in a band together. But it IS a band, and all either of us have ever wanted was to be in a band. So I feel like if I walk away, I'm leaving something I've always wanted behind. And I know, I know; "So you start a new band" (and I kind of mentioned that above)...but it's like, I've already got one right here...it just feels lifeless.

So this is what I ask...how important is an actual connection with other band members? Is sounding "good" good enough if that's all you've got?
#2
Look, it's not that complicated. You're in a band that isn't great. You want to be in a great band. I was in a band for 2 years and they were my best friends, but I still broke the band up because musically we weren't good enough for my aims. Break up the band, find different guys, want get your perfect situation going. Sure, it's hard. Breaking up a band is like breaking up with a girl, but worse because there's more than 1 band member. But just like a relationship that isn't right, you do it because otherwise it just rots until you resent the other people.
#3
Have you ever heard of Guns N Roses? They made incredible music despite hissy fits and arguments always taking place. Just a thought.
#4
Quote by grouch593
I'm currently in a band with two other guys. We've been going on and off for about the past three years. I wish our drummer was better (he's all we could find) but he doesn't completely suck and he at least gets the job done. Other than that though, we sound good. That's the thing though...we just sound good. And that's my question, is just sounding good enough of a reason to stay in a band? Lately I've felt so detached from these guys. There isn't really much friendship in the band anymore. We've all changed as people and it isn't as fun...it feels like we're just going through the motions.

I'm the songwriter and play guitar and sing, but on the side I also play drums and bass. I enjoy playing all of them. And because I've been feeling detached, increasingly I've been having thoughts of wanting to leave the band, record the songs with me playing every instrument (I have all the recording equipment & this is appealing to me because I can do whatever I want, however I want) and then put a band together later on and play the material live.

My problem is, right now, I'm still with these guys and I don't know what to do. Like I said, we sound fine enough, but it just feels like we're going through the motions. I can't see myself being out on tour with these guys. I can't see myself having any good times with them. Deep down, I just don't feel like we're the right combination of people to in a band together. But it IS a band, and all either of us have ever wanted was to be in a band. So I feel like if I walk away, I'm leaving something I've always wanted behind. And I know, I know; "So you start a new band" (and I kind of mentioned that above)...but it's like, I've already got one right here...it just feels lifeless.

So this is what I ask...how important is an actual connection with other band members? Is sounding "good" good enough if that's all you've got?


I know exactly what you mean, as i'm in/was in this situation.
I too, play guitar, drum, play bass, and can sing, and was in a band where the guitarist/singer, and bass player weren't getting along, and would constantly bitch about each-other behind each-other's back to me. So in the end, that was where the band finished, because of 2 people ending up on bad terms.

It's hard to move on because it's been 3 years for you. 3 years doing anything will leave a mark on your life, but i like to look at it this way...

"you either die a hero, or you live long enough to see yourself become the villain"

And yes, that's from the Dark Knight, but it does actually mean something. End it before you guys get to the point where the lack of friendship in the band effects the music.

As you said, record demos with you playing everything (as i plan to do as well) and form a band around that.

All my opinion of course.

Good luck with whatever you choose.

EDIT: Oh yeah, and btw, i listened to the songs in your sig, and your quite the singer/song-writer.
Last edited by AwesomeDrummer at Mar 13, 2009,
#5
Well, it's all meant for fun in the end isn't it? The question is, are you having fun?
But you should also think on this: Are you certain that things can't get better? I mean, why not try going out with the band or something.....I mean, you should obviously do what you think is right, but you really need to consider your options.
Would be a waste to dump these guys if, in the end, you could actually end up being great friends.
This is the part where you are supposed to be amazed by the awesomeness of my sig.
#6
like marauder said bro, its all about having fun.

and if youre not having fun, then you need to leave it behind.
Guitars
Schecter Omen 6
Agile LP 2500
Kramer RR V
Amp
Peavey 6505
4x12 with Eminence Screamin' Eagles
Others
Mogami Cables
Korg DTR-1000
Furman M-8 Power Conditioner
MXR Smartgate
BBE Sonic Maximizer
My Band
www.myspace.com/gdbr
#7
If you don't like them; then break up. not harder than that.

as for your songs; You can still record them on your self even though you're in a band; why couldn't you?
You like it
#8
Sounds like you don't feel that this band is contributing to your musical vocabulary and/or enriching you on an intellectual level. I say leave. Thats what playing in a band is about, and if you aren't progressing and feel insecure in the environment you are in, than you should scoooodadle.
#9
just leave
Dave Mustaine is a Joke

Quote by strat0blaster
Why don't you just all jam and see what comes out

That wat she said!!!!!!!!!!!

Watch Jason Newsted pisses off James Hetfield on YouTube.
#10
Talk to the band. Hang out with them, go smoke some weed or drink with them. That always brings people closer. But before you make any decisions, COMMUNICATE.

It's just like a girl.
#11
Quote by Highwaytohell
Sounds like you don't feel that this band is contributing to your musical vocabulary and/or enriching you on an intellectual level. I say leave. Thats what playing in a band is about


Not really, playing in a band is about having fun and playing the music you want to play. I'm in a band where everyone is playing below their technical skills, but it's because of the style we wish to play. We all used to be in thrash metal bands and stuff like that and now we're playing simple hardrock, but it's a lot of fun.
"Don’t be a guitarist. Be a musician."

Steve Howe
#12
Quote by von gelb
Not really, playing in a band is about having fun and playing the music you want to play. I'm in a band where everyone is playing below their technical skills, but it's because of the style we wish to play. We all used to be in thrash metal bands and stuff like that and now we're playing simple hardrock, but it's a lot of fun.


I suppose you could say I do it more for personal fufillment than pursuit of fun. See, I have the most fun in the world playing music so I also look to my band to help me in my life as it's really you know "my thing" and my one true love. Other people may look at being in a band in a different light. I'm suggesting perhaps the TS might be one of those people
#13
Quote by Highwaytohell
I suppose you could say I do it more for personal fufillment than pursuit of fun. See, I have the most fun in the world playing music so I also look to my band to help me in my life as it's really you know "my thing" and my one true love. Other people may look at being in a band in a different light. I'm suggesting perhaps the TS might be one of those people


yeah, i'm in the same boat as you. And judging on the songs in TS's sig, he should be as well.
#14
Be slow to fall into friendship, but when thou art in, continue firm and constant. -Socrates

I kept my band together for 10 years, because they are my friends. I broke up the band almost two years ago and realized that friendship is more important to me than my musical/career aspirations. But, that is just me.
#15
Quote by grouch593
I'm currently in a band with two other guys. We've been going on and off for about the past three years. I wish our drummer was better (he's all we could find) but he doesn't completely suck and he at least gets the job done. Other than that though, we sound good. That's the thing though...we just sound good. And that's my question, is just sounding good enough of a reason to stay in a band? Lately I've felt so detached from these guys. There isn't really much friendship in the band anymore. We've all changed as people and it isn't as fun...it feels like we're just going through the motions.

I'm the songwriter and play guitar and sing, but on the side I also play drums and bass. I enjoy playing all of them. And because I've been feeling detached, increasingly I've been having thoughts of wanting to leave the band, record the songs with me playing every instrument (I have all the recording equipment & this is appealing to me because I can do whatever I want, however I want) and then put a band together later on and play the material live.

My problem is, right now, I'm still with these guys and I don't know what to do. Like I said, we sound fine enough, but it just feels like we're going through the motions. I can't see myself being out on tour with these guys. I can't see myself having any good times with them. Deep down, I just don't feel like we're the right combination of people to in a band together. But it IS a band, and all either of us have ever wanted was to be in a band. So I feel like if I walk away, I'm leaving something I've always wanted behind. And I know, I know; "So you start a new band" (and I kind of mentioned that above)...but it's like, I've already got one right here...it just feels lifeless.

So this is what I ask...how important is an actual connection with other band members? Is sounding "good" good enough if that's all you've got?



From the sounds of it, the band seems to be going nowhere, but you dont need to write it off just yet. Call a band meeting, and discuss what ye want from the band. Maybe discuss getting a few gigs, and then afterwards go out for a few drinks. You cant just expect a friendship to instantly materialise because you are in a band together, its like saying the hot girl is your girlfriend because ye are in the same english class. It takes work, both to create and maintain any relationship or friendship.

Seriously though, if you think tha band is lifeless, try and get some gigs. Preferably in small pub or house party, that will be packed and full of energy. It will give the band a well needed jolt of fun!