#1
Comments and critiques would be appreciated. Think Dani Filth from Cradle of Filth as far as vocal style is concerned.


Summerland

He surrendered graveside
To his lover's silent eyes
And he fell into an astral sleep--

These hearts are entwined
Between the river and the pine.
The mist crawls amidst their shadows
Dancing in celestial dream.

The ghastly lantern reflected in her eyes
As if some tragedy has bequeathed the morning rise
With lithe fire made of grief and cedar...
For purpose of drowning the darkened summer.

The heavens never seemed so close
As when my soul silently departed
And left ablaze my withering heart
To bare alone the naked course.

She was the star within my nightmares
To which I found peace and dream;
That guided the way for my wavoring phantom
Through the mire 'till my sight be relieved.

He surrendered graveside
To his lover's silent eyes
And he fell into an astral sleep--

These hearts are entwined
Between the river and the pine.
The mist crawls amidst their shadows
Dancing in celestial dream.

The funeral mass whispered a cruel spring
With nightfall breaking vessels upon my sea
And for mourning to drain into the winter stream...

The moonlight surrendered to the dawn
With her abandoned pyre still denying the rain;
And he still asleep beside her
Embracing her silently ...

There was no solace to be found.
No divine to bring her back to life.
Just death amidst the willows and fire,
Summoning his fragile ghost to never return to life.

And as the noose gently caressed his silhouette
Final images of winter lapsed his mind never to regret...

(Interlude)

My eyes return to the Earth
But I am no longer blind.
The cruelty of winter shattered in the night
As I looked to heaven's gaze amidst the morning flight.

Breath whispers in my celestial dream
Of the Summerland to which I wake.
For in finale my arms are entwined...
With her this dreamless summer's night.
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#2
No comments?!

Damn, this was good. And I mean that sincerely, though I would love to see this as a Cynic song or something similar

But: change the title; current one sucks.