#1
This is a song about a homeless man that I see regularly travelling around my local area.. I thought he deserved something after I talked to him. Don't take the stereotypical view of the homeless person!

'Nobody knows where he's from
Or how he got here.
He's just the drunken, travelling bum,
that the children are told not to go near..'

'But he does no harm,
as he trundles along,
Rusty bicycle in hand,
he's no use for charm,
When everything in his whole damn life
has all gone wrong.'

'The world left him on the streets
Demoralised and cold at night,
No refuge and no retreat,
He survives, yeah, but it's takin' all his might..'

'An' I watch him from time to time
He always wanders the same old line
And I wonder why the man's content,
To live that life, a life of grime,
I guess he's just a victim
of the society we live in,
It's not his choice to roam the streets
It's a role that he's been given.'

'And he fulfils his duty
as the street-walking bum
Eyes follow him with scrutiny,
They label him as worthless scum.'

'And it brings a frown up to my face,
because they haven't even tried to know him,
They just stare at him, look down their nose
Like he is a separate race..'

'But I know his path
that he travels all the time,
And one day I got up and finally went to him ask him why,
Is he watching his life flow away,
Slowly, Slowly, day by day?
And all he said was 'Just go away'
But I said 'No, I'm gonna stay"..

An' he said 'Fine, you wanna know why?
Because the streets my home, it's where I feel right,
And yeah, it's harsh," and he let out a long sigh..
"You know I'm sick boy, I'm gonna die..
But it'd probably be better for everyone,
I've been in the same place so long
The people look at me like I am wrong,
And I am;
I'm just a crazy, drunken bum,'

'And now today I walk the same streets
Just as I've always done,
But he's gone,
But the wind and trees still whisper,
Of a mysterious, travelling bum..'

'Society frowned and turned away
But I can't anymore, I knew the man,
Whose gone now but everyday,
I hear his echo in the trees as they sway;
And his bicycle and his life in a few bags
And his royal cloak, weathered and turned to rag,
But he's gone now his role is done,
as the unloved, lonely, travelling bum..'
#2
Hey dude. I'm new to song writing so I can't give you an accurate crit like you did for me.

What I can say though, is how well your lines flow, and it's quite obvious that you have a way with the words.

Is there music written for this? I only ask because it seems a couple of lines could lose the odd word here & there. But that's nit picking and you may already have the vocal melody for it.

I like your stuff man!