#1
very OTS. c4c. leave a link. inspired by a certain black metal one-man band.


run the stairs. leave no trace. an entropy of broken glass.
make the excuse. burn the clothes. a spot of blood
to the car
gun the motor, sit back
and rationalize some more

god damned heretics. light the bonfire
suffer the rumors, write the lyrics
of elven song and trickling water
blood from a stone - well, from something anyway -
fuck the prophets' profits.
but remember, it's what you believe.
all things pass. there is one road to high hell
and one road to low hell; travel them both at once
to keep the paradigm in motion.
read the books, read the epics, pen the music
accuse, defy, arson, murder.
the length is great as one makes it.
there is no focus, for to focus is to falsely believe...
now understand this
to you stupid caged animals:
know the man killed by words on paper and words on a screen
and forget the church-raper, earth-shaker, slayer of men
who kills people in darkness and
then
writes music
about it.

decade and a half.
tamed?
⚑⚑⚑⚑⚑
#2
I could see this becoming something cool.
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Quote by RPBiohazard

Careful, guys, she might be a pitophile


you misspelled pedophile

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^
#4
"fuck the prophets' profits" was probably my favourite line here. Give me a bit of time to read this and i'll see if i can't tear it up.
#5
^ also my favorite line

LINE BREAKS! This could bristle with some pauses. The words you're saying are meant to have a shaky impacts, but it just.. flows nicely and properly.
Emphasize/highlight the focus of the piece to stand out from the more tone-setting lines. I get what you're trying to do here, and it's a good start, but execution could be changed.

Regardless, nice work. It's hard to just spit out a piece, and this is done pretty well.
Quote by Arthur Curry
it's official, vintage x metal is the saving grace of this board and/or the antichrist




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theguitarist
minterman22
tateandlyle
& alaskan_ninja