#1
i feel like it's not really finsished, but i'd like to know what you think of it

The wish to matter to someone

Embrace me with your arms filled with thorns
please kiss me with your lips of steel
and cut the skin wide open
so my heart can breathe again
I wish
I wish I could matter to someone

So it happened again
it wasn't the first time
and probably not the last time either
the crashing waves of sound
crushing my ears
a deafening silence

From your lips came the beautiful lies
And the salt and the water poured from eyes
A bitter taste enters my mouth
Your words are harsh and hard
They cut and burn and leave mark
Inside that cave you call a chest
Where my heart still beats
slowly
inhale exhale
and follow the lights
home...
Here my voice goes to ones and zeros...
Last edited by AtReYuRoCk at Mar 14, 2009,
#4
i don't know i wasn't really thinking to match it with a genre. i suppose it would be something with soft spoken part and then some screamoing parts so i guess i would call it a screamo song in progress (real screamo not the escape the fate kind of ****ty things)
Here my voice goes to ones and zeros...
#5
Quote by AtReYuRoCk
i feel like it's not really finsished, but i'd like to know what you think of it

The wish to matter to someone

Embrace me with your arms filled with thorns
please kiss me with your lips of steel
and cut the skin wide open
so my heart can breathe again
I wish
I wish I could matter to someone

So it happened again
it wasn't the first time
and probably not the last time either
the crashing waves of sound
crushing my ears
a deafening silence

From your lips came the beautiful lies
And the salt and the water poured from eyes
A bitter taste enters my mouth
Your words are harsh and hard
They cut and burn and leave mark
Inside that cave you call a chest
Where my heart still beats
slowly
inhale exhale
and follow the lights
home...


I really liked it, If I was to tell you to change anything it would be the second and third line of the second stanza, it seems like i've heard that a few times before. Overall I think its great, the imagery I really liked. Here's mine https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1088578