#1
Sup, posted this and alot of people viewed it no one left any comments though
Its going to be like post-hardcore, Heavy parts and soft.

gimme some feedback on the lyrics please


<Verse 1 (screaming)>

This revelation in the dead of night

As you find out I was your last chance

Suffocated by the hands of your Ignorance


<Chorus Singing except parenthesis>
This is the last sad song I’ll write for you

To sing to yourself as you fall away

You have become one of them (as the darkness takes a hold)

Quivering inside, yet you ACT SO BOLD (gang vocals)

Don’t worry we’ll tear you down from your throne (tear you down)

The truth of your mistakes weigh down

Slip this noose around your neck and say your last goodbye


<Breakdown all screaming>

Vengeance is in my blood, eat your joy while it lasts,

I’ll tear it down along with everything you have

To prove my point

You’ll soon fall

<repeat chorus?>
Why play 6 when you can play 7?
Last edited by Gromlich at Mar 14, 2009,
#2
A bit short and I'm not a big fan of these kind of lyrics.

They always seem to sad and angry for me.

IMO, it's a bit "tastless" and a bit generic, if you know what I mean.
Like any dude from a Hardcore band could write that down, it misses a bit of persona and feeling.

But it isn't that bad, it'd do it's job but you should try to stick out a bit more.
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#3
I read it as an Atreyu meets Trivium meets BFMV kinda song which isnt bad because they are killer bands and I love the genre, but the lyrics were way to genric over all though it was a good song if you dont mind criting my newest piece Realm of Forever I would appreciate it
#4
Thanks, I'll work on it I know what you mean It's gonna be my bands first song and I'm just trying to whip up something real fast so we can get some experience together in
Why play 6 when you can play 7?