#1
I've started writing a song for a girl I've recently fell in love with. I've never tried writing a song before so I'm not experienced at all, but I'm trying very hard to get my emotions on paper and in song format. Could you guys read these lyrics which are what I've come up with so far, and give me some constructive criticism or feedback? (By the way, I'm not interested in rhyming. I want the melody of the song to carry it through with a guitar)

When I look into your beautiful eyes
You captivate my soul
When I see your perfect smile
My heart begins to melt

And I can sense
Your thoughts
I can feel
Your love
You somehow lit the fire inside me
And the light is shining bright
I can feel your warmth within me
On the coldest of all nights

You’ll always have that special place in my heart
Last edited by travh2007 at Mar 16, 2009,
#2
Hello, i came across your lyrics, i know your aiming for the deep emotion lyrics but it doesn't seem to head that way. Try to make it make sense and keep it as meaningful as possible, open your heart up and lyrics will come out with it. i have been writing recently and did a good song that i am proud of. I am slowly making this into a song with guitars and solo's. Just keep going.