#1
Here i am
wont you take me as i am?
We are young
and time isn't slowing down

tell your dad
to **** off and get back
because you
can think for yourself

and At this point
love is an excuse
to get off together
unconditionally

and maybe
my dreams aren't as empty
as you say
they appear to be

maybe i
Am no less crazy than you
but you think
your mistakes taught you everything

and at this point
i could never care
about the things i do
or what you want me to be

i just want
freedom without any thought
throw it all
away for simplicity

do the things
you know are wrong and bad
just to prove
you aren't a conformist

because fourteen
years must have won me
more than my libido
And uncontrollable moods
#3
well, i like the rhythm of it, but the lyrics seem too childish, (maybe that was the intention?). i would keep away from that bit of profanity, it seems kinda forced and pulls away from the sincerity of the song. lastly, this isn't exactly a fresh new idea for a song Big Star - Thirteen the lyrics to that are shockingly similar! overall though, it does seem like a good start to future songs you may write
#4
I actually had the Big Star song running through my head, as I read this, too, but I think it's as much a reaction to the title as anything else. Oh, and the whole "tell your dad get off my back" thing. Other than that, the two pieces are quite different. It's cool though; clearly, this is a very honest piece.

I would suggest that you standardize your poetic punctuation a bit, but that's probably just my pet peeve again.

peace