Advice please? How to tell my dad that I'm in a relationship with an older guy?..

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#1
So.. basically, I'm in a relationship with a guy who is 7years & 7months older than myself (I'm a girl by the way). I'm 16 years old (but still in school), so everything is legal and not pedophilic (if a little odd, not all that unusual though). Although I think this is quite an immature thing to so, I am fairly mature and intelligent for my age, while the guy doesn't act his age at all (just turned 24. He called me a "weewee" yesterday ). We've been in a relationship for just over a month now, and were 'seeing each other' for about a month before that, when he was still 23. So we've both come to the decision that we've been together long enough gor me to inform at least one of my parents of our relationship. We believe that this may, if approved at least a little of, allow us to spend more time together and ease my stress of having to sneak around behind my parents backs.

But, the question is, how do I inform my father of such a thing? Should I even tell him?
Any (useful) advice is very appreciated!


____________________________________________________________________________________

More information that you may want to read:
* I've told my form tutor/chemistry teacher/mentor about the relationship, and he agrees that I should let a parent know.
* I am INCREDIBLY paranoid that the guy I'm with is just out to bed me or use me in any way or cheat. He knows that I think this.
* When he and I first met, I told him I was 18. He does now know my age.
* I've met both his mum and his step-dad more than once. They know I'm younger than him and, although they act fairly pleasant with me, they don't give me the 'friendliest' of looks.
* My parents are already pretty suspicious of what I get up to when I go out.
* Me and him haven't gone very far yet. We're taking it slow.
* I'm a virgin, he knows this. He isn't.
* Apart from my last boyfriend (who was only a few months older than me), all my other exes are a few months younger than myself.
* Both the guy and my form tutor say that it's best to tell my parents/dad earlier, rather than later.
* A fair few of my friends have met him, and think he's a nice guy.
* He's already told me he loves me, and is a bit upset that I can't tell him that back as yet.
* He says that we'll stick together even if my dad doesn't approve, as he "doesn't want to lose me".
* He's depressed, suicidal, paranoid and pessimistic. I've been told to be careful if he's possessive (which he isn't) and to be wary if he's "mentally unstable" or something by my mentor, which I thought was odd as that was the least of my worries.
* He's already threatened suicide when he thought I was breaking up with him, but not in a "if you finish me, I'll kill myself" way.
* In the past month we've agued a hell of a lot!
"F*ck the guitar solos!!" - Olli Vänskä

Quote by Capt_Clarkson
I dont know whats worse, you going out with a peadophile, or the fact you went to see Dragonforce
Err... DragonForce?

Happily married to SuperKoolKid
#2
sorry, tl;dr
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#5
I am in a relationship with a younger chick. My best advice to you is to have your boyfriend meet your parents and just have him be on good behavior.
#7
Stop dating an older guy...?
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#10
just tell him, either you'll get the wrath or he'll be cool. Tbh I dunno why your with that guy in the first place, seems uber whacko
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#11
lol..
How bout' no you crazy Dutch Bastard!


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Pretty Heavy and thick??...Sounds like a wasp fucking an Exhaust pipe...Its Rubbish!
#12
No offense to you, but that guy is trouble. I dont care how immature he is, a 24 year old man who has his sights set on a 16 year old girl, still has some issues. Break it off and get away as fast as you can. Im only 22 and know multiple girls your age, and there is just no way. And the girls who are my age felt the same way you do about yourself at your age, but they realize now they were very wrong. As far as telling your parents, its the right thing to do but dont expect them to be ok with it.
#13
What you do is
1. Get in a relationship like the one you described
2. Seek help from people who don't care, are too immature, have never been in a relationship, and who post for teh lulz
3. Don't use the relationship thread

Oh wait... you've already done all of those.
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#14
Quote by BR0KENHEARTED
I am in a relationship with a younger chick. My best advice to you is to have your boyfriend meet your parents and just have him be on good behavior.


This.
#15
Quote by chris_122
all guys want sex, no matter what.

this
seriously its a bad idea, dont go with him, he is most likely a immature ass who just wants sex, trust me I know loads of guys like this


but whatever its not like your going to actually listen to what I'am saying...
Last edited by Capt_Clarkson at Mar 17, 2009,
#16
Quote by chris_122
all guys want sex, no matter what.



*facepalm*
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#17
When "relationship" is in the title thats usually a hint that this belongs in the "relationship" thread
#18
show him this thread
If you're a hot chick you've probably got a good chance with the lead singer or guitar player, If you're a little bit overweight, you should probably go for the drummer. If you're a dude, go for the bass player
#19
Girls that date guys at that age with that age gap always creeped me out... he's in it to get in your pants btw.
mmmk.
#20
* I am INCREDIBLY paranoid that the guy I'm with is just out to bed me or use me in any way or cheat. .



Then why the Hell are you dating him??????
#21
Creepy fucker
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#22
Quote by Xp3ns1v3
*facepalm*


If you're a hot chick you've probably got a good chance with the lead singer or guitar player, If you're a little bit overweight, you should probably go for the drummer. If you're a dude, go for the bass player
#23
My boyfriend is 6 years older than me, but I was 18 when we met.
When I told my dad I didn't mention his age until he asked, but by disgusting coincidence, my boyfriend is only a few months younger than HIS girlfriend, so we have mutually agreed never to address spouse's age issues.


I think he is probably a paedophile seeing as you are only just legal. Telling your dad is probably a bad idea, wait to see how things play out first because he will probably not stay around unless you start putting out, in which case you have issues if you don't dump him for using you, and telling your parents won't matter any more.
#24
Quote by TheSecondRaid
You just got an extra 500 profile views.

Doubt it, didn't work when I posted about my lesbian tendencies

Quote by BR0KENHEARTED
I am in a relationship with a younger chick. My best advice to you is to have your boyfriend meet your parents and just have him be on good behavior.

If all goes well and my dad doesn't disown me or whatever, that's what I'm planning on doing. Should be fun to watch

Quote by Wulphy
Stop dating an older guy...?

Why's that?
"F*ck the guitar solos!!" - Olli Vänskä

Quote by Capt_Clarkson
I dont know whats worse, you going out with a peadophile, or the fact you went to see Dragonforce
Err... DragonForce?

Happily married to SuperKoolKid
#26
first of all 7 years personally is to big of a gap, he'll probably have a full time job, while ur 500 miles away, writing 7 page paper on how Letter from birmingham jail, is better than I have a Dream speech for your english class.

secondly why lie about ur age that well just make it all the worse, and kinda immature. and u guys sound like u argue alot, can u argue for the next 3 months with him, or longer. just think about that

another thing if he isnt mature way even date him, i mean just because he calls you weewee doesnt mean he is immature, he might just playin around.

lastly
just tell them straight up, why are u afriad of your parents (unless there is like abuse etc goin on) they should just accept it if you feel connected to this guy

other than that i would either break it



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#27
Let's sum up the facts:

He's paranoid/depressed/suicidal
threatened suicide if you leave him
Told you he loves you... after a month
warnings of possessiveness and mental instability
You argue a lot
He's 7 years older than you

My Conclusion: This needs to end
#28
meh he sounds kinda risky, the bit about him commiting suicide if u leave him makes him sound pretty strange/pedoish
Wait.



Roger Waters - 12th May!
#29
Umm, hun, I hate to break it to you, but you really should avoid this kind of situation. Under some circumstances, dating older guys can work. Under your circumstance, I predict from what you've written that your parents are going to lose it. Don't mess your relationship up with them over an 'immature' dude.
What you cannot escape, you must fight; what you cannot fight, you must endure.
#30
First I assumed you were gay, because there are no girls on the internet, and then clicked your profile to check before reading your post and thought you were talking about that bald-ish 40 something year old dude in the pic.
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It's caught me in its spotlight
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#31
Quote by Nizzi
So.. basically, I'm in a relationship with a guy who is 7years & 7months older than myself (I'm a girl by the way). I'm 16 years old (but still in school), so everything is legal and not pedophilic (if a little odd, not all that unusual though). Although I think this is quite an immature thing to so, I am fairly mature and intelligent for my age, while the guy doesn't act his age at all (just turned 24. He called me a "weewee" yesterday ). We've been in a relationship for just over a month now, and were 'seeing each other' for about a month before that, when he was still 23. So we've both come to the decision that we've been together long enough gor me to inform at least one of my parents of our relationship. We believe that this may, if approved at least a little of, allow us to spend more time together and ease my stress of having to sneak around behind my parents backs.

But, the question is, how do I inform my father of such a thing? Should I even tell him?
Any (useful) advice is very appreciated!


____________________________________________________________________________________

More information that you may want to read:
* I've told my form tutor/chemistry teacher/mentor about the relationship, and he agrees that I should let a parent know.
* I am INCREDIBLY paranoid that the guy I'm with is just out to bed me or use me in any way or cheat. He knows that I think this.
* When he and I first met, I told him I was 18. He does now know my age.
* I've met both his mum and his step-dad more than once. They know I'm younger than him and, although they act fairly pleasant with me, they don't give me the 'friendliest' of looks.
* My parents are already pretty suspicious of what I get up to when I go out.
* Me and him haven't gone very far yet. We're taking it slow.
* I'm a virgin, he knows this. He isn't.
* Apart from my last boyfriend (who was only a few months older than me), all my other exes are a few months younger than myself.
* Both the guy and my form tutor say that it's best to tell my parents/dad earlier, rather than later.
* A fair few of my friends have met him, and think he's a nice guy.
* He's already told me he loves me, and is a bit upset that I can't tell him that back as yet.
* He says that we'll stick together even if my dad doesn't approve, as he "doesn't want to lose me".
* He's depressed, suicidal, paranoid and pessimistic. I've been told to be careful if he's possessive (which he isn't) and to be wary if he's "mentally unstable" or something by my mentor, which I thought was odd as that was the least of my worries.
* He's already threatened suicide when he thought I was breaking up with him, but not in a "if you finish me, I'll kill myself" way.
* In the past month we've agued a hell of a lot!



wow girl, you put me in a tough spot to help you, I mean you should really tell your parents.

but on a serious note, this guy sounds like a total nutjob. I mean come on you're 16 and you think the best thing to do is a 23 year old guy that is apparently suicidal. Plus if your mentors say he's crazy and you don't think so, that's because you're only seeing the better side of him *until you sleep with him he'll probably either abuse you verbally or physically* I know because I am 20 and this guy sounds like he never had a relationship or got rejected too many times to the point that he thinks he can have a shot of high school love or some crap like that. I kind of went through that phase but then again the girl I was going out with was 18 when I met her.
#25 for top 100 UGer of 2009
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#32
sell your parents tv for some coke, tell them that first, and then this will seem like its nothing! flawless plan, it works
Super Ape on vinyl changed my life.
#33
I'll agree with the mistress.HE sounds like a pedophile to be quite honest.


+10 for being a red head....
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#34
you're an idiot for even seeing the guy. dumping that loser would be the best thing to do.
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#35
Quote by TheSecondRaid
You just got an extra 500 profile views.


...i only clicked because you said that.

Just tell your daddy, what's the worst that can happen?
#36
Well if you wanna date him that bad, just tell your dad when your alone with him and dont do it in a too rushed way, do it in a calm manner.
Tim.

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See what your fate might have in store
Come explore your dreams' creation
Enter this world of imagination
#37
hes wayyyy too old for a 16 year old to be going out with!
he only wants to bed you seriously
especially shown with him saying he loves you already
end it. if i was your dad id beat the living **** out of this guy
#38
Quote by Nizzi
Why's that?


Because when he was in the 1st grade you were in your moms uterus.
#39
Quote by a6l6e6x1
hes wayyyy too old for a 16 year old to be going out with!
he only wants to bed you seriously
especially shown with him saying he loves you already
end it. if i was your dad id beat the living **** out of this guy

kinda ironic coming from the guy with peadobear as his avatar
#40
Quote by Rock'n'Roulette
...i only clicked because you said that.

Just tell your daddy, what's the worst that can happen?



daddy will get pissed and tell her to dump him and then her unstable boyfriend will go apesh!t and probably hit her for thinking about leaving him even though she didn't want to or just cut himself in front of her and yell out "DO YOU LIKE IT WHEN I AM HURT!"...and I'm not being a smartass either I'm serious. Now that I think about it this is The Pit, nothing here is serious...well not since 2006.
#25 for top 100 UGer of 2009
UG's 2nd Funniest UGer and 3rd most likely to be a Serial Killer of 2009, 2nd of 2011
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