#1
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I'm a vessel, I'm a ship
Heading outward west
I'm a bird in a flock
Have you seen my nest?

I'm flower in a field
In the sunset
Blooming high above the rest
Just don't pick me yet

(chorus)
I long for ocean
To come and take me away
Without a woman
To keep me by the bay

I'm boy, she's a girl
And I'm all alone
Give me a yes, Give me a no
Beacause I gotta know!

A nomad I am
In the wildest of greens
I'm an anchor now
But free me to the seas!
Run!
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Simply, the world was too small for a man of his ambition.
Quote by ifeastonbums
GuitarSymphony you are my hero!
Last edited by GuitarSymphony at Mar 19, 2009,
#2
I'm a vessel, I'm a ship
Heading outward west
I'm a bird in a flock
Have you seen my nest?


This is a decent verse, pretty catchy. But it seems way to cheezy in a way, as well.

I'm flower in a field
In the sunset
Blooming high above the rest
Just don't pick me yet


Very similar to the other one, but I like this one more for the imagery and overall value to it.

(chorus)
I long for ocean
To come and take me away
Without a woman
To keep me by the bay


Without a woman seems a bit short, but the rest is pretty good and catchy. It would definitely work as a chorus.

I'm boy, she's a girl
And I'm all alone
Give me a yes, Give me a no
Beacause I gotta know!


I'm sorry, I really dislike this stanza. There's really nothing about it for me to like. It has the simplicity of your other stanzas, but there's really no...spark.

A nomad I am
In the wildest of greens
I'm an anchor now
But free me to the seas!


Decent last stanza too, but I hoped for something a bit better.

Well, there you have my crit. Overall, it was alright, but I couldn't really get into it so much.
Last edited by punkforlife93 at Mar 21, 2009,