#1
God damn am I in a writing mood today !

(whispered)

I will show you life...
I will show you death...

(End)


Walking a split path
Everything ahead is eventually a gravestone
In my dreams I see hell
Can you tell me it's real
The ocean runs from my eyes
Apathy is all I feel...

With blood on your lips, let me know if I exist
The fire in your mind compliments the ice in your veins, let me know is it all just a game
You radiate hope in techni-color
Can I crush your dreams
Is this real or make believe..

Peel back your skull for me
I want to prove your reality is subjective..
I don't care what you say
We haven't seen through the eyes of the dead
Feel the weight upon your shoulders
Of a sky heavy sinking full of lead...
Hope is the poison enslaving the minds
How much will you bleed
Before you see
How much will you bleed?


With blood on your lips, let me know if I exist
The fire in your mind compliments the ice in your veins, let me know is it all just a game
You radiate hope in techni-color
Can I crush your dreams
Is this real or make believe..

Hope...
Devoured...
Hope...
Devoured...
My gear
Ibanez RG7321
Jackson Warrior WRXT *FS/FT*
Jasmine J35
Squier Fender P-Bass
Ibanez TBX150H
Crate 4x12
Fender Rumble 60


Part of UG's 7 STRING LEGION
#2
i'm having trouble hearing the melody behind it, but the lyrics are really good.
I like the symbolism and metaphor, literary devices make for great songs. I especially like the fact that it's not a ballad (Poetry not song) in that it's deeper than just telling a story.
#3
There's a great atmosphere to the lyrics, I really liked:
"How much will you bleed
Before you see
How much will you bleed?"

Where in Arizona do you live?
[[[The Game]]]
Quote by VictorVella

This thread proves Gigatiran is awesome, and a lot more awesome than your average awesome. I bet he even owns a duster like Dennis Reynolds.
#4
(whispered)

I will show you life...
I will show you death...

(End)
I can imagine this working with a soft intro (think damage inc), good way to introduce the theme of the piece.

Walking a split path
Everything ahead is eventually a gravestone
In my dreams I see hell
Can you tell me it's real
The ocean runs from my eyes
Apathy is all I feel...
Nice, I like that these lyrics actually need some thinking to decipher the meaning of them. Flow works well, good uses of metaphor.

With blood on your lips, let me know if I exist
The fire in your mind compliments the ice in your veins, let me know is it all just a game
You radiate hope in techni-color
Can I crush your dreams
Is this real or make believe..
First thing I think reading this is "oh Christ, power metal lyrics...". The first phrase (blood on your lips) is extremely weak imo, it doesn't really mean anything. But apart from that, solid stuff. I loved the idea of "radiating hope in technicolour".

Peel back your skull for me
I want to prove your reality is subjective..
I don't care what you say
We haven't seen through the eyes of the dead
Feel the weight upon your shoulders
Of a sky heavy sinking full of lead...
Hope is the poison enslaving the minds
How much will you bleed
Before you see
How much will you bleed?
Repetition of "I" in lines 2/3 spoils the flow in my opinion. Otherwise, packed full of solid metaphors and the like. Possible point for a solo after this verse?


With blood on your lips, let me know if I exist
The fire in your mind compliments the ice in your veins, let me know is it all just a game
You radiate hope in techni-color
Can I crush your dreams
Is this real or make believe..

Hope...
Devoured...
Hope...
Devoured...
Good ending, I like it.


Overall impression: Pretty good, there's the occasional line that sticks out unpleasantly in there but as a whole it's pretty good.

C4C?