#1
I finished writing this song last night. Its about how pissed I was when my gf left me for a tool. This is the first real inspiration I've had and just tell me what you think.
Rock on,
~Mike

You, you were all of my dreams come true
You, you were all I'd ever need
You, you always wanted something new
You, left me nothing to do but plead
Cause

You woke me from this dream
Put me in a nightmare
No help to come, no way to fare
Nothing is fine, nothing is well
Ever since you put me on as trip through hell

You, you ripped my heart right outa me
You, you showed me a whole new way
You, you showed me what I could not see
You, you thought everything was okay
But

You wole me from this dream
Put me in a nightmare
No help to come, no way to fare
Nothing fine, nothing well
Ever since you put me on a trip through hell
(bridge)

Now that its done
Your begging for my forgiveness
Even though your so young,
It seems like your heartless----------
(clean chorus)

You woke me from this dream
Put me in a nightmare
No help to come, no way to fare
Nothing fine, nothing well
Ever since you put me on a trip through hell


BTW: this isn't no cheesy "heartbreak my life sucks song" Its a hard and heavy jam.
In order to live, you must be ready to die

R.I.P. DIO


FUCK JUSTIN BIEBER


Quote by Metallica_AC/DC
a mental asylum called Mike



Quote by Masamune
That's cuz you mad...Mike.

Sorry, had to get my corniness out of the way.
#2
Okay I was just about to say that this would be a really cheesy song if it was all slow and soft. But I think this definitely has potential. I think that the part "Ever since you put me on a trip through hell" seems like it doesn't flow. But if I knew how its actually supposed to be sung then it would.

Feed my eyes, can you sew them shut?
Jesus christ, deny your maker
He who tries, will be wasted
Feed my eyes now youve sewn them shut