#1
hey guys
I have never rote a song before, and this is my 1st one, and i was wonderin if you would tell me if this is any good, and any changes that could be made:

What is best for us,
When all we need is trust ?
With a lot of things to prove
We’ll get through this very soon
My heart still lies with you
What more can I say or do ?

We’ve bin through far too much
To wash it all away
Memories of our love
Are lost within the days

And when I hear your voice
In my mind, I start to cry
And my heart, it breaks in two
When I look into your eye

So,
What is best for us,
When all we need is trust ?
With a lot of things to prove
We’ll get through this very soon
My heart still lies with you
What more can I say or do ?

I’ve made to many mistakes
I’ve lied, we’ve cried
And all because of
our love for one another
Ill do anything for you,
To put all of this right
So tell me what to do
Ill do it, for you

And…
What is best for us,
When all we need is trust ?
With a lot of things to prove
We’ll get through this very soon
My heart still lies with you
What more can I say or do ?

What is best for us,
When all we need is trust ?
With a lot of things to prove
We’ll get through this very soon
My heart still lies with you
What more can I say or do ?
I love you, I love you

Thanks in advance guys
#2
Well it is the first song you wrote, so its alright. Its kinda cliche though, and it doesnt really take the listener/reader anywhere. I dont have much time to critique, but one thing that kind of stuck out that you should fix is in this stanza

Quote by jason-d1234

And when I hear your voice
In my mind, I start to cry
And my heart, it breaks in two
When I look into your eye

I kinda doubt you wrote this song about a pirate you fell in love with, so i would change that to "eyes". When you're rhyming, it doesnt have to fit 100% perfectly all the time.