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#1
Just changing my clothes, getting ready to go in the pool with a couple friends. I'm pulling up my swim trunks when my friend yells, "Ahhh crap! My draw string broke!"

Then, out of nowhere, a gravely voice says "That ain't no draaaaaaw straang!"

We look back to find a fat 60 year-old man with an anchor tattooed on his bicep, a chest comparable to Austin Powers, and an eye patch. He's standing right behind us.

He says, "That ain't no draaaaaaw straang! That's the straaang you use to tiee your dick with so you can fiiiiinnnd it!"

My friend is now so scared he's about to pee and meanwhile I'm laying on the locker roon floor laughing my a$$ off

Then he grunts "HUH! And that's comin' from a man who has to squat to pee!!!!"

My friend proceeds in exiting the locker room and I'm laying there dying. The man looks at me.

"Ha! Don't worry son, I don't act f'ed up! I jist am!!"


I just thought I'd share my little story of the day with my fellow UG'ers.
Last edited by halfback_712 at Mar 22, 2009,
#4
Amazing.
Knowledge speaks, but wisdom listens.

When the power of love overcomes the love of power the world will know peace.


-Jimi Hendrix-

Quote by CodySG
You know you're in the drug thread when you see pictures of squash and "tuna nigga!" when you click the page.
#5
"That ain't no draaaaaaw straang! That's the straaang you use to tiee your dick with so you can fiiiiinnnd it!"
Quote by Tyler Durden
It's only after we've lost everything that we're free to do anything.

Erowid
#7
UG POKER!
Quote by WyvernOmega

TL;DR: Saw a girl at Wal-Mart, she started feeling me up, I jizzed in my pants.

Shit, I'm so pathetic.

[quote="'[BurnTheDusk"]']I agree, tone does sound better the closer your genitals are to the ground.

Crabcore?

UNACCEPTABLE
#8
once in a liiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiifetime, this happens. yet to occur to me. but it's assured it will.
Quote by ultimatedaver
We're just trying to help man, cause it doesn't seem like you can get any pizza.
#12
epic.

you win a box of e-cookies
My Gear:
Epiphone Classic Les Paul
Ibanez JS1000 w/ Seymour Duncan Jazz and Pearly Gates
Alverez Acoustic
Fender Hot Rod Deluxe
Boss GT-8

Add Me?
#13
*Sniff Sniff*

I smell a new meme.

"That ain't no draaaaaaawwww straaaaaang!!"
#57 in UG Top 100 2010!

I really ought to get my username changed...
#14
Did anyone else think of Herbert from Family Guy reading this?
Pick flowers not fights.
Make love not war.
Drop acid not bombs.

#15
You've gotta love old guys in locker rooms. I once saw one with a short towel wrapped around his waist (it didn't even go to his knees) who had his leg propped up on a counter and was using the hair dryer to air-dry his junk. It was both scary and hilarious...
Quote by RU Experienced?
Well, unless you're playing guitar by thrashing your dick around the strings I see no application of guitar technique to sex.



My band, Two Days In February
#17


enjoy my work
My Gear:
Epiphone Classic Les Paul
Ibanez JS1000 w/ Seymour Duncan Jazz and Pearly Gates
Alverez Acoustic
Fender Hot Rod Deluxe
Boss GT-8

Add Me?
#19
Quote by PhillyHendrix
*Sniff Sniff*

I smell a new meme.

"That ain't no draaaaaaawwww straaaaaang!!"



You killed it
Quote by C O B H C
If you want to get really technical about it..

1. Grab sticks.
2. Bang sticks on drums.


^how to play drums.


UG POKER
#20
Quote by Mauri_wario
I would indeed "fap that thaing", but my dog is looking at me and it feels highly iinappropriate.
#22
Quote by yellowshirtguy
You killed it

no no... just ignore it and let it live
My Gear:
Epiphone Classic Les Paul
Ibanez JS1000 w/ Seymour Duncan Jazz and Pearly Gates
Alverez Acoustic
Fender Hot Rod Deluxe
Boss GT-8

Add Me?
#23
Quote by Black Label93


enjoy my work

Uh-oh. I sense a meme coming.
Funny story though!

╠═══════╬═══════╣

THE SINE WAVE SURFER σƒ τλε τρπ βπστλεπλσσδ

╠═══════╬═══════╣


[quote="'[BurnTheDusk"]']Boss pedals may be built like tanks but I would rather buy a cardboard box that is on my side than pay for a tank that is working against me.
#26
im siggin that
My Gear:
Epiphone Classic Les Paul
Ibanez JS1000 w/ Seymour Duncan Jazz and Pearly Gates
Alverez Acoustic
Fender Hot Rod Deluxe
Boss GT-8

Add Me?
#28
That ain't no draaaaw straang! That's the straang you use to tiee your dick with so you can fiiinnd it!

Quote by cakeandpiemofo
Of course I don't wanna go in the woods. There's bears in there.


Quote by Deliriumbassist
Jeff Ament is a sexy sexy beast.



Quote by Karvid
Yes. Chest hair = automatic awesome. Even if you're a woman.
#32
Quote by ghostnineone
haha

did he have a southern accent? haha


lol a little bit. More like a sailor. Well, now that I think about it, I guess yeah he did
#34
Quote by ghostnineone


THAT KINDA LOOKED LIKE HIM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Just give him an eye patch, increase the chest hair, make him about 4 inches shorter and make him a bit uglier.
#35
As disturbing as that is....
Church burning is good for the (social) environment

_██_
(ಠ_ృ--------


Quote by theknuckster
It's like you take vodka, and then dilute it down until it's pretty much water, but still call it vodka, and proceed to pretend to get heavily wasted off it.
#36


That aint no draaaaaw straaaaang


Made by 'The Sloganizer' ----> «The Pit - be prepared.»

Quote by imdeth


"Billy eat your broccolli!"

"Screw you mom!" *raises arms*

PHEAR MA TURRETS!!
#37
I sense a new meme.


Current Gear:
LTD MH-400
PRS SE Custom 24 (Suhr SSH+/SSV)
Ibanez RG3120 Prestige (Dimarzio Titans)
Squier Vintage Modified 70s Jazz V
Audient iD22 interface
Peavey Revalver 4, UAD Friedman BE100/DS40
Adam S3A monitors
Quote by Anonden
You CAN play anything with anything....but some guitars sound right for some things, and not for others. Single coils sound retarded for metal, though those who are apeshit about harpsichord probably beg to differ.
#39
Quote by Shard Heilia
That ain't no draaaaw straaaaang.

Also toasting in epic bread.


Mmm toast


Made by 'The Sloganizer' ----> «The Pit - be prepared.»

Quote by imdeth


"Billy eat your broccolli!"

"Screw you mom!" *raises arms*

PHEAR MA TURRETS!!
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