#1
Verse (Type One)
You kill their women
You kill their children
You bomb their cities
This ain’t peace
Soldiers die,
Bullets fly
What’s it for?
The Name justice.

Verse (Type One)
Economy Crushed,
People brutalised,
Nuclear fire
Rains from the skies
One last try
To put things right,
We won’t make it
through tonight

Chorus
The world prepares for peace,
You prepare for war,
The war to end all wars
After this there’s nothing more

Post Chorus
You destroy all resistance,
Unprovoked attack,
Unwilling, Defenceless
Obscene Aggression

Verse (Type 1)
Defences Crushed,
Cities Raided
Armies Crumble,
Lethal Infiltrate,
Crescendo
Intensity Building,
Nothing More,
Left to Take

Chorus
The world prepares for peace,
We prepare for war,
The war to end all wars
After this there’s nothing more

Post Chorus X2
We destroy all resistance,
Unprovoked attack,
Unwilling, Defenceless
Obscene Aggression
There's a special sex move I do called the Charizard.
It's where you light the girls pubes, then put it out with your cum and run around the room flapping your arms screaming, "You don't have enough badges to train me!"
#2
Sounds like a good Metallica-esque song.

I'd look into reworking the chorus though, you say "war" too much.
[[[The Game]]]
Quote by VictorVella

This thread proves Gigatiran is awesome, and a lot more awesome than your average awesome. I bet he even owns a duster like Dennis Reynolds.
#3
Quote by Gigatiran
Sounds like a good Metallica-esque song.

I'd look into reworking the chorus though, you say "war" too much.



Yeah I do now that you mention it, I just don't think I'd be able to change it to make it fit with the music I've written for it. And it's pretty good that you see it as metallica-esque, seeing as thats what i was going for
There's a special sex move I do called the Charizard.
It's where you light the girls pubes, then put it out with your cum and run around the room flapping your arms screaming, "You don't have enough badges to train me!"
#4
maybe change war to conflict?

You prepare for conflict,
The war to end all wars

it'd work

good job anyways
Just call me Julius, J, etc.
Taking an Internet break for a while, will come on when I can.
#5
Quote by nowa90
maybe change war to conflict?

You prepare for conflict,
The war to end all wars

it'd work

good job anyways



I can't change it to conflict because it'll mess up the syllable count for the music :/
There's a special sex move I do called the Charizard.
It's where you light the girls pubes, then put it out with your cum and run around the room flapping your arms screaming, "You don't have enough badges to train me!"
#6
Anyone have any ideas on a single syllable synonym of war?
There's a special sex move I do called the Charizard.
It's where you light the girls pubes, then put it out with your cum and run around the room flapping your arms screaming, "You don't have enough badges to train me!"
#7
Quote by King Twili
Anyone have any ideas on a single syllable synonym of war?
gore, fight, more

they might work in this cercomstance (sp?)
Just call me Julius, J, etc.
Taking an Internet break for a while, will come on when I can.
#8
Quote by nowa90
gore, fight, more

they might work in this circumstance (sp?)


hmmm, fight does fit with the context of the song, but I think I'll probably keep war there, unless someone else can think of some really cool ideas...

(btw, i just had to spell check your circumstance and correct it, I have OCD like that lol)
There's a special sex move I do called the Charizard.
It's where you light the girls pubes, then put it out with your cum and run around the room flapping your arms screaming, "You don't have enough badges to train me!"
#10
I would agree with fivexfive, change the whole line, not just the word 'war'

Now this seems like more of a metal-ish type song,
I'm not really into it, but for all I know you could be, so good deal there

Nothing really specific, but I would say this is pretty much the same story I've heard every time I play System of a Down, you know what I mean ?
Not a whole lot of original ideas or wording here,

It seems like it was intentionally shortened down,
maybe try adding a few syllables to each line and expanding on the ideas a bit,
make this song stand out a bit more
#11
Quote by greyeyedfire
I would agree with fivexfive, change the whole line, not just the word 'war'

Now this seems like more of a metal-ish type song,
I'm not really into it, but for all I know you could be, so good deal there

Nothing really specific, but I would say this is pretty much the same story I've heard every time I play System of a Down, you know what I mean ?
Not a whole lot of original ideas or wording here,

It seems like it was intentionally shortened down,
maybe try adding a few syllables to each line and expanding on the ideas a bit,
make this song stand out a bit more


Thanks for the crit man, you gave me some real information. Yeah, it is supposed to be metal, Metallica style, like from ...And justice for all. The problem with adding syllables to each line is that it would mean i would have to rewrite all the music I have written for it so I don't really want to do that very much (lazy :P). I'm not really sure on what i could change the line to though, seeing as i need to keep the same amount of syllables and a similar idea.
There's a special sex move I do called the Charizard.
It's where you light the girls pubes, then put it out with your cum and run around the room flapping your arms screaming, "You don't have enough badges to train me!"
#12
Quote by King Twili
The problem with adding syllables to each line is that it would mean i would have to rewrite all the music I have written for it so I don't really want to do that very much (lazy :P).

Not necessarily....

You could, for example, double the syllable count, making every line twice as long, and just play the music at half as fast

Or, being a metal song, you could do just the opposite and play normal speed and sing it twice as fast
#13
Quote by greyeyedfire
Not necessarily....

You could, for example, double the syllable count, making every line twice as long, and just play the music at half as fast

Or, being a metal song, you could do just the opposite and play normal speed and sing it twice as fast


hmm, in theory it works (just like communism :p) but its already at 190bpm. It's not very easy to speed up the vocals, and playing it at half speed would make the song sound sluggish, if you know what I mean. Btw guys, I appreciate all of your criticism, its helping me add more verses to the song, without doing things i shouldn't.

There's a special sex move I do called the Charizard.
It's where you light the girls pubes, then put it out with your cum and run around the room flapping your arms screaming, "You don't have enough badges to train me!"
#14
You don't need to go strictly half or double speed, or go at strictly 190b/m for that matter

the speed of a song is really something that just needs to be played around with, figure out what works and what does it

after all,
It's not math, it's Art
#15
Quote by greyeyedfire
You don't need to go strictly half or double speed, or go at strictly 190b/m for that matter

the speed of a song is really something that just needs to be played around with, figure out what works and what does it

after all,
It's not math, it's Art


I tried playing it at 150 bpm, it sounds waaaaaay too slow. I don't know what to do now :/
There's a special sex move I do called the Charizard.
It's where you light the girls pubes, then put it out with your cum and run around the room flapping your arms screaming, "You don't have enough badges to train me!"
Last edited by King Twili at Mar 24, 2009,