#1
This poems about a girl who wont give me straight answers to my questions, and 'angers' me.
C4C
enjoy


I am confused
I dont understand
Je ne comprend pas
Can you say that again?
Re-phrase it maybe?
Change your tone,
Just tell me when
What shall i do;
What shall I say,
To that and everything else?

I need answers;
for my bundles of questions
If you would just give me one,
It'd be that much better
For you and I.

My thoughts are like snowflakes;
Coming down in millions, big and small
But, never the same.
Might be there tomorow,
or maybe they'll be washed away
By time
And like all man made things,
they they cannot and will not stand the test of time
The Test;
Of Time.

thanks, any suggestions, ideas, mistakes, and the like.

p.s. shout out to Keizer for helping me choose one of the lines.
Just call me Julius, J, etc.
Taking an Internet break for a while, will come on when I can.
#2
I liked the first couple of lines, the french and "can you say that again?" really flows i think. But i dont think the last verse really flows, the syllable count is really uneven, and i think its a bit messy. But overall i thought it was kinda cool! Good job!

heres one of mine: https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?p=19152563#post19152563
Last edited by RodeoBrunslid at Mar 24, 2009,
#3
thanks man, my first verse is my favorite too, and the last verse is just free form basically, kinda like a part 2.
Just call me Julius, J, etc.
Taking an Internet break for a while, will come on when I can.