Yeah, you could definitely do the drums better.

-I really like the opening melody, absolutely top notch. Vaguely reminds me of the intro to "Override of the Overture" by Dissection.
-The riff at bar 9, "Bleed" by Meshuggah? Idk, it works pretty well as a transition to the next riff, although the drums seem to overpower the guitar at this part. Might wanna work on that.
-Good riff at bar 26, I like how you have a creepy kind of lead going over the rhythm. Good use of 9/8, too.
-Bar 34 seemed a bit off time though, might wanna have the chord that leads into the next bar come a bit earlier?
-Good solo, though the palm muting makes it a bit odd.
-The bit after the solo serves its purpose, and bridges nicely into the next riff.
-115-130 is very good, I like it a lot. Heavy rhythm and creepy melody, I like it very much.
-Good riff at 131, and I like that you refrain back to the riff before it afterwords.
-Good solo.
-Riff thingy at 155 is very, very good. I like the overlapping melody lines, very very good.

The ending seems a bit abrupt though.
Overall it's pretty darn good, but if you polish up a few bits then it'll be absolutely killer. I'd love to hear it recorded.

Last edited by AA00P at Mar 24, 2009,
I liked it, drums do need work though. Only bad thing is solo, not my kinda thing, and the riff starting at bar 9 sounds like Bleed by Meshuggah.
I deff hear some meshuggah influence in there! Anyways, i thought the song was a repetative, you should varie the riff order a little more, i think it could flow alot better then what you have right now, but in the end, im sure this will be an amazing song the bash heads too.

Would you like to crit mine?


If anyone would like to collaborate with me via internetz, pm me.
Last edited by BoDC at Mar 25, 2009,
Pretty standard tremolo riff in the beginning. The verse riff was pretty uninspired as well. The riff after that was pretty cool with the volume swells. The solo was allright, but nothing special, there wasn't anything that really stood out. The harmony at 123 was cool, I liked it, sounded very evil.
The second solo was a lot better and the riff after that was very cool as well!
The drums need work indeed, but I can't write drums for **** myself so I can't really crit on that
Overall, it's not a bad song, just a little too standard and repetitive. It simply needs more variation...


Crit mine? https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1091868