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#1
You guys, or girls I guess, know when you're about to close the deal with someone... and then somebody ruins it? The classic cockblock. Well, share your funniest experiences. Have at it Pit!

Now, this wasn't funny at the time, but now it's funny as hell.
I was at a party, and I was talking to this really hot girl. She'd been drinking, and she said she wanted to go to the bedroom, so we could "talk better." (try and figure out the secret code) Anyway, a friend of mine-- who was pretty drunk-- runs up to me yelling my name b/c he wanted a ride home. He trips and spills his ice cold, straight from the tap beer all over this girl . Since I'd been associated with him, she ran away from me and him. I lost her but I'd forgotten a condom anyway, so whatever. (I still don't talk to him though)
#2
Cockblocks are never funny, my friend. It's just not cool.

I did it once, and I regret it... although the method I took was a bit funny.
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#3
Quote by Sonicxlover
Cockblocks are never funny, my friend. It's just not cool.

I did it once, and I regret it... although the method I took was a bit funny.


I know, and I don't do it ever... but there has to be a funny story where a friend accidentally screwed you up. I think.

EDIT: And tell us. The relative anonymity of the Pit frees you up.
Last edited by mamosa at Mar 24, 2009,
#5
Once I was about to get it on with this super hot chick, when my mother told me just because I was adopted didn't mean I could have sex with my non-biological sister. Don't you just hate moms?
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I'm not in college, but i'd imagine the parties like the ones I just downloaded...

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Hey, one of those people is me!

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#6
lololol ok I have a good story

so one time my friend was talking to this girl and then I chopped his dick off

**** blocked
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#7
this one time at band camp, me and this girl were going at it, and then her dad came in and beat the crap out of me...it sucked
How bout' no you crazy Dutch Bastard!


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#8
Quote by PinkFender_69
Once I was about to get it on with this super hot chick, when my mother told me just because I was adopted didn't mean I could have sex with my non-biological sister. Don't you just hate moms?


lmfao!
This guy I know told me he wants to **** his 1st cousin
Incest FTMFW!!!
#9
Quote by Eddie4President
Come on, Sonicxlover.

Aren't you going to share?


It was at an end of school party at a friend's house, and people were in the hot tub. The friend was trying to get with the lady, and I found it lame that he wasn't getting anywhere. So I took a running jump in and landed right next to them (making a splash), and said "'Scuse me" as I stuck my ass in her face getting to an open seat. Her attention shifted from him to me.
Quote by Sonicxlover
Kensai, I think I'll get a flamboyant sig.

Quote by Sonicxlover
Kensai, I think I'll get a flamboyant sig.

Quote by Sonicxlover
Kensai, I think I'll get a flamboyant sig.


Parker Nitefly Mojo sonnn
Jackson DK2M Dinky
Carvin Legacy
Fender Blues Jr.
Roland Cube 30X
#10
I was talking to this girl just the other day. I don't really have a crush on her or anything, we're just friends, although I wouldn't mind goin' out with her. Anyway, I was just talking to her, and my friend yells, "Hey Phil! How's your herpes?" I shout back, "What!?"
And he yells back, "I'm c0ck blocking you!"

#57 in UG Top 100 2010!

I really ought to get my username changed...
Last edited by PhillyHendrix at Mar 24, 2009,
#11
About a month ago actually but this was to a friend.

So me, him, his girlfriend, and about 3 other friends came to chill at my house since i live near the school. Well my friend and his girlfriend went up to my room. I really didn't notice until later. Well I heard something upstairs and so me and my friends went up stairs with a camera thinking we were gunna catch em making out or something. Me being first with the camera I opened the door and walked in.

Now I have video of my friend fingering a hot chick, awkward, but to me really funny.

"Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo."
Last edited by Gibshall at Mar 24, 2009,
#12
Quote by Sonicxlover
It was at an end of school party at a friend's house, and people were in the hot tub. The friend was trying to get with the lady, and I found it lame that he wasn't getting anywhere. So I took a running jump in and landed right next to them (making a splash), and said "'Scuse me" as I stuck my ass in her face getting to an open seat. Her attention shifted from him to me.


Hmm... not bad. TOTAL dick move though. But y'know, dicks before chicks before hos before bros. I *think* that's how it works.
#13
Quote by Gibshall
About a month ago actually but this was to a friend.

So me, him, his girlfriend, and about 3 other friends came to chill at my house since i live near the school. Well my friend and his girlfriend went up to my room. I really didn't notice until later. Well I heard something upstairs and so me and my friends went up stairs with a camera thinking we were gunna catch em making out or something. Me being first with the camera I opened the door and walked in.

Now I have video of my friend fingering a hot chick, awkward, but to me really funny.






...


#14
Quote by PhillyHendrix
I was talking to this girl just the other day. I don't really have a crush on her or anything, we're just friends, although I wouldn't mind goin' out with her. Anyway, I was just talking to her, and my friend yells, "Hey Phil! How's your herpes?" I shout back, "What!?"
And he yells, "I'm c0ck blocking you!"



Did you have a chance?
#15
One time, I was spending time with my gf, and I was about to reciprocate on her (it was getting less intimacy,more BJ territory),and I hear something.
I go to investigate, and my friend, who I thought went home a good while ago, is in the bathroom, which I have a door to from my bedroom,and he comes into my room, starts laughing and critiquing us and stuff, all the while claiming he was looking for his phone.
He then throws me a condom and tells us to play it safe. So I never got to satisfy her, but she got it elsewhere from a friend of hers. oh well, virginity ain't that bad.
#16
Quote by mamosa
Did you have a chance?




I've been friends with her way before I met the one who was c0ck blocking. So, she knew he was messing around. But still, c0ck blocks suck. A lot.
#57 in UG Top 100 2010!

I really ought to get my username changed...
Last edited by PhillyHendrix at Mar 25, 2009,
#17
Quote by mamosa
lmfao!
This guy I know told me he wants to **** his 1st cousin
Incest FTMFW!!!


His first cousin eh? Was his name George Michael?
Quote by adamk991100
I'm not in college, but i'd imagine the parties like the ones I just downloaded...

Quote by Weaponized
vagelier and PinkFender_69 are actually pretty dope
Hey, one of those people is me!

Just hang on a second, I'll be back.
#18
Quote by PinkFender_69
His first cousin eh? Was his name George Michael?


LOL!

AROUND THE WORLD



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#19
My friend locked me in his basement because this fat girl "lost her cellphone" in a part of the house she had nvr been in. So once i knocked over and over until they unlocked that door, then I kept going on upstairs and ruining the mood.
#21
my mate was bout to pick up this chick, and we'd all been drinking when i thought it would be amusing to remind him in a loudish voice that he had **** on the playground slide we were walking past, needless to say he wasnt happy, but she's a hussey anyways, so good riddance
#22
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I saw Pantera live once, Dime changed into a body bag right there on stage.


#23
Quote by kurt_cobain9



Wait if the rocks blocking the ****.....



Ohh God there goes my childhood



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#24
When I was a teenager I had my own space in my parents' basement with a stairway to their floor upstairs and second stairway to my own back door and the garage.

I had been hitting on this prude girl for several months and finally had her alone watching a movie in the dark sitting in my lap (and this girl was prude, it was a one in a million chance that even this little thing came together). I was working slow so as not to activate her prudeness, but the pace was appropriate for at least really enjoying myself that evening, when all of a sudden two of my fat virginal friends (well one was an associate) come crashing down the back stairway and right into my room.

They turned on the lights and proceeded to stand around and awkwardly chat for a good 10 minutes--just enough time to make sure the mood was completely ruined. Once they could see the interest draining out of the prude girl the jealous lady-hunger left their eyes and they retreated back out the stairway. Needless to say my meticulous efforts completely flopped and I never did manage to corrupt that young lady.

I kicked my friend in the balls later that week.

I have many other tales of being ****-blocked... several movie in the dark ones come to think of it, but that one is my favorite.
Last edited by dullsilver_mike at Mar 25, 2009,
#25
Quote by PinkFender_69
Once I was about to get it on with this super hot chick, when my mother told me just because I was adopted didn't mean I could have sex with my non-biological sister. Don't you just hate moms?


reminded me of these...



Quote by JackWhiteIsButts
I saw Pantera live once, Dime changed into a body bag right there on stage.


#26
Me and some mates were drinking for this dudes birthday and the guy who's party it was is a really annoying/sleazy drunk. My other mate was gonna get in with this chick, they were even sleeping in the same bed, unfortunately for him my annoying mate slept in the bed with them. He was rubbing against her and touching her and sh!t all night. One quote i remember from the night:

girl- "what the f is that?"

drunk mate- "my belt"
*shifty eyes*

c0ckblocked.
#27
^ that would suck so bad. I'd be pissed.
Quote by JackWhiteIsButts
I saw Pantera live once, Dime changed into a body bag right there on stage.


#28
At a party with my old band, just finished a gig and i was hangin around, socialising and whatnot. I started getting into this chick and she started playing with my collar and giving me very suggestive looks. I woulda been seconds from hooking up with her if my mate didnt run about behind me slapped me on the ass insanely hard and yelled "THATS MY MAN BITCH" in her face. The look on her face was so halerious that i just pissed myself laughing and ruined my chances forever. Owell.
#30
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I made a thread about this a while back...but it got closed down.


At least the thought still survives.
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I saw Pantera live once, Dime changed into a body bag right there on stage.


#31
Quote by kurt_cobain9
At least the thought still survives.

Yeah, good point. No matter what the mods do, the thought among UGers is carried on, and brought again and again to the surface of the Pit. We all win.
#32
Quote by NakedInTheRain
Yeah, good point. No matter what the mods do, the thought among UGers is carried on, and brought again and again to the surface of the Pit. We all win.

So funny.
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#33
Quote by DreamsEnd
At a party with my old band, just finished a gig and i was hangin around, socialising and whatnot. I started getting into this chick and she started playing with my collar and giving me very suggestive looks. I woulda been seconds from hooking up with her if my mate didnt run about behind me slapped me on the ass insanely hard and yelled "THATS MY MAN BITCH" in her face. The look on her face was so halerious that i just pissed myself laughing and ruined my chances forever. Owell.


If You See Me Posting In The Pit HIT ME.
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#34
This one time I saw my friend trying to hook up with this girl. They were getting friendly with each other, but being the evil soul I am,I had to wreck it. so I go over and lean on her shoulder and with a huge smile on my face I utter this story...


"Hey [Girls name] Im [My name]. [Friends name] here is a real party animal did you know that? This one time, me and him went to this day care at like 10 in the morning, and lemme tell ya, we were fricking wasted. We had some baseball bats in the car, cause it was my brothers car and he left his bats in there from practice. So, what do you think we do? We take those ****ing bats and shove them up the baby's asses! Thankfully, we were able to use their blood as lube, so it wasnt as hard as you think. And you think the guy working there would have a problem with it right? Wrong. Turns out the guy was a gay masochist and wanted one up his ass too. So, being the fun, nice guys we are, we shove on a whole foot up his ass! That was like the best birthday party ever. Except for that time with the midget hooker..."

By this time my friend was shuddering from the images he was getting (I was acting the story out as well) I knew the girl, me and her were like best friends. So me and her were laughing, but my friends sex drive was wrecked for the rest of the night. I win.
#35
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#38
There was this girl that I was kind of friends with, but we both wanted each other and pretty much everyone else knew. We had seen each other in a club/bar and drunkenly danced and kissed most of the night, then at the end of the night we are about to *ahem* share a cab even though she was a fair bit off to where I needed to go....I got the hint. And then just as we are climbing in to the cab one of my waster friends shouts from a distance "Oi, You two, wait up! I cant afford a cab on my own!". Dickhead.
#39
i was just about to get with this alright looking girl at a party once, we were in the bedroom and as soon as i shut the door she was all over me, we stumbled to the bed,locked at the lips and a slid off her jeans and underwear.I shook off my baggy jeans with all the grace of a wet dog drying itself and she giggled, I smiled too and we kissed again while i somehow managed to get a condom on with one hand.

i was above her hovering just on the edge savouring the moment of penitration

When my friend burst in,fully suited up in armour,dove across the room.Drawing his sword In mid air.He flung out his arm and covered the girl's lower body under his shield.My penis glanced of the metal causing a small dent and a damp patch.

He claimed later that he saw a dragon in her vagina.
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Last edited by centorium at Mar 25, 2009,
#40
At a gig, the bassist was after this real drunk girl all night, and as everyone was about to leave, the frontman goes "It's funny, she thinks that he's heterosexual" and she walked off saying "I have a boyfriend anyway".
Earlier that night the bassist said "If I don't get laid this weekend (it was a festival) I'm blaming that fat bastard" (talkin' bout the frontman). Was hilarious.
It seems that's a very popular way to cockblock too cos another time, in Belfast, I was with soem people, and one girl took an interest in one of the guys I was with, when we left, another guy I was with told her that (the first guy) was gay, we got back later (it was like a hotel and bar and she worked there), she was there and the guy was all ready to get some tail, but the girl was just very shunning of him, it was pretty amusing when the second guy told him.
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