#1
Alone in the mud,sitting here beaten.
blood on my shirt I have been defeated
No place to run, no place to hide
nowhere to go,not one alibi
I've got myself, and this $**tty guitar
A small bit of money, and this beat up old car
In a spiraling corkscrew, down towards the ground
I try to pull up but I keep going down

how can this be home
when you're scared to death?
how can you love
when you can't take a breath?
how can you learn
if you can't make mistakes?
how are you safe
when all you do is double take?
when the world crashes around you, what can you do?
just pick yourself up and start anew

A lone tree stands where a fire has been
the fire is gone, but it withstands within
life rises up from the death all around
plants rise up from the ash soaked ground
The tree grows stronger, the largest one there
all because of this damn despair
people look up with inspired glare
and everyone will remember that it persevered

how can this be home
when you're scared to death?
how can you love
when you can't take a breath?
how can you learn
if you can't make mistakes?
how are you safe
when all you do is double take?
when the world crashes around you, what can you do?
just pick yourself up and start anew


Bah, they suck, but as always C4C, and all comments are greatly appreciated.
Bitch Stole My Taco!
Last edited by Take_Warning at Mar 24, 2009,
#2
Quote by Take_Warning
Alone in the mud,sitting here beaten.
blood on my shirt I have been defeated
No place to run, no place to hide
nowhere to go,not one alibi
I've got myself, and this $**tty guitar
A small bit of money, and this beat up old car
In a spiraling corkscrew, down towards the ground
I try to pull up but I keep going down

"No place to run, no place to hide" feels a little cliche in this stanza. The last two lines feel a bit redundant to me. I think it's because of the use of the word "down" in both of them. Maybe try replacing the first "down" with "aimed".

how can this be home
when you're scared to death?
how can you love
when you can't take a breath?
how can you learn
if you can't make mistakes?
how are you safe
when all you do is double take?
when the world crashes around you, what can you do?
just pick yourself up and start anew

Not really a fan of "how are you safe when all you do is double take". Seems like it's forced to rhyme with "mistakes." Otherwise pretty good chorus.

A lone tree stands where a fire has been
the fire is gone, but it withstands within
life rises up from the death all around
plants rise up from the ash soaked ground
The tree grows stronger, the largest one there
all because of this damn despair
people look up with inspired glare
and everyone will remember that it persevered

In the second line it says "it withstands within." Not sure what this means really, and are you referring to the fire or the tree (I think you're talking about the tree withstanding but it just seems phrased weird)? Also "withstands within" just sounds kind of funny to me because of the two "with" sounds.

how can this be home
when you're scared to death?
how can you love
when you can't take a breath?
how can you learn
if you can't make mistakes?
how are you safe
when all you do is double take?
when the world crashes around you, what can you do?
just pick yourself up and start anew


Bah, they suck, but as always C4C, and all comments are greatly appreciated.


All in all not bad. I suggest going over your word choice for some of the parts I highlighted. Good luck!
Last edited by ttreat31 at Mar 25, 2009,
#3
I'm no serious critic or anything.
In fact, I know near to nothing about lyrics.
But i like this, its catchy and effective