#1
Woah, this song has been begging for the finishing touches for a loooong time now. It's still not quite finished. That Bridge at 189 needs another guitar to my ear, because on many occasions there are three of them playing together.

Well, this is another Finnish song about my hometown. The same series as Evakkoväki. I don't know if this sounds as Finnish as that one, but I did my best.

This one doesn't have any particulat parts, but the solo part is a bit different than everything else in this song. And they are a bit full, but that's the way I wanted them.

Please, let me know what you think. This is one of the songs I love the most. Many cliches there, but I want them there. This isn't supposed to be too complicated and progressive song.
Attachments:
Nöyrä laakson polku.zip
#2
WOW...pretty amazing honestly
Is there any chance this will ever be played by a real band???
Schecter Hellraiser C-7
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Last edited by /-Vince-\ at Mar 26, 2009,
#4
I think it ends abruptly, but anything besides that would just be me wanting what I want in a song. I thought there could be more of the gallop feel that is in the main theme in other places in the song (would galloping bass lines make it too Iron Maiden?) This sounds really ballad to me, whether that be like returning to a town and like saving people or something more Muse/Knights of Cydonia; I hear a story that would be brought out for sure by words.
Lord Gold feeds from your orifices and he wants to see you sweat.
Lord Gold probes you publicly and makes your pussy wet.
Now say his name.....
#5
Im just really enjoying your music. Every song you have posted under your sig is fantastic in its own right, and you should really play this live. It's epicness needs to be shared with the world.
#7
The intro sounds like The River Dragon Has Come by Nevermore but its still original, I really liked the intro!

Riff A. SWEET! I loved it, its got a lot of feeling behind it and although I can't really call it metal, it sounds really good!

Riff B, now that's what I'm talking about. You really know how to entwine the rhythm and lead guitars, a lot of people don't possess this, hell even I get stumped sometimes when composing. Riff C is even better than Riff B!

Verse 1 riff is good too, it serves it purpose. I really wish I could hear the actual vocals over it, it'd make this song that much better, but hey guitar pro's here for a reason right?

Bar 61, man, you just keep making your riffs better and better, loving it! Bar 73, no comment, its just sooooo good =)

The only thing close to a complaint I have is the chorus, with a beautiful song like this please make a better chorus! And I know you can easily do it looking at the riffs you have going on in this song, its just a suggestion. I think it'd make this song that much better.

The solo, **** dude, you mix speed with emotion very well. I enjoyed the solo a lot, enough to actually want to learn it which never happens with work I see on the forums. It gets even better when Solo 2 begins, great job man, pat yourself on the back =D

The outro is sweet too, def. brings back the intro feel to it. It's the perfect way to end a song. Think about holding the chord at the end there and letting the chord fade out. Another small detail are the drums, perhaps change it up a bit? Mix in a little bit more speed in some parts and add some weird timings, just a suggestion, in fact, even if you don't change the drums this song is great.

I have no other suggestions for this song, its pretty much perfect.

9.5/10 (0.5 off for the chorus, other than that its a perfect 10/10), I've never given a score this high to anyone on these forums.

Keep up the great work my friend, I look forward to your future compositions that I know will be great!

crit a song from my latest album? https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1095241 (please don't crit a song that's already been critted, I suggest you check out either Track 2, 3, or 8)!
"Our revenge so everlasting sweet,
Enslave your Children, Behead the weak,
Kill every last Man, Woman and Machine
The cleansing has begun.
Your meek defense is foolish,
we come from the stars a trillion strong."
Last edited by cptazad at Mar 30, 2009,
#8
Alright man, as I listen here we go!

Intro: It starts off as very upbeat to me. I like the harmony you use. It accents it very well, and gives way to the next riff nicely.

Riff A: I don't know why... reminds me a bit of Avenged Sevenfold. But it's still really good. You definitely know how to write good melodies; that's for sure! Very nicely done.

Riff B: Heavier than Riff A. I like it. It's a good change of pace. The melody you use to intro into Riff C is very nice. I like it.

Riff C: I like the melody alot. Haha! This must be where the cliche's come in... cause I can definitely hear it. It still sounds really good thogh..

Verse I: I like the vocal melody and how it intertwines itself with the guitars. It's very well done.

Pre-Chorus: I like it alot. It transitions smoothly from Verse I, and into the Break. Nothing to change here.

Break: You are definitely a master riff writer. All of your riffs and melodies are amazing. How long have you been writing stuff? I wish I could be like you in... even your drums are really good! Man, definitely my favorite part so far. You NEED to get this recorded!

Chorus: It's a typical chorus... the vocal melody would probably be more catchy if it was a real person, so i'm not going to fault it for that. But you can do better... especially with the other riffs as proof.

Riff B Reprise: Very nice. I commend you on your riff writing skills.

Verse II: Very nice. I'm pretty sure it's the same as the first one... but that's ok.

Pre-Chorus: You can make beautiful sections... I really like the melody you had going on near the end of it.

Interlude: Intros the solo nicely.

Solo I: Very nice. You definitely know what you're doing. I can feel the emotion in it... no real wankery going on. Very nice phrasing skills you've got. You should give lessons ;]

Break: This reminds me of another riff by another band... but I can't remember what so i'll put it on hold. It's still a nice transition over into the next part.

Solo II: Alot more melodic than the first. I like it alot as well. How much time do you spend writing these things? They're really good!

I know I haven't said it yet.. but I really like how the bass doesn't just... sit in the background. It has it's own melody and everything... I like that alot.

Pre-chorus/Chorus: Still good. The chorus could be more epic. I know you can do it!

Outro: I dunno.. this seems like you just wanted to end it now. It doesn't live up to the rest of the song. I think you need a more melodic outro seeing as how pretty much the whole song is very melodic.

You, sir, are one of the best songwriters i've ever heard. This stuff is amazing.
Seriously, 9.5/10. Just fix the outro, and you'll be a 10! You're amazing... seriously. How long have you been writing music?

C4C? It's not quite like this, but I still want your opinion.
https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1092673
#9
Woah! A lot of praises again. I humbly thank you.

Quote by cptazad
The intro sounds like The River Dragon Has Come by Nevermore but its still original, I really liked the intro!

Riff A. SWEET! I loved it, its got a lot of feeling behind it and although I can't really call it metal, it sounds really good!

Riff B, now that's what I'm talking about. You really know how to entwine the rhythm and lead guitars, a lot of people don't possess this, hell even I get stumped sometimes when composing. Riff C is even better than Riff B!

Verse 1 riff is good too, it serves it purpose. I really wish I could hear the actual vocals over it, it'd make this song that much better, but hey guitar pro's here for a reason right?

Bar 61, man, you just keep making your riffs better and better, loving it! Bar 73, no comment, its just sooooo good =)


Haven't heard that Nevermore song. Gotta see to it. When I wrote this song I notied that the first heavy riff had the same chords as Iron Maiden's Rainmaker, so I changed em a bit. Haa! It's nice, I love it.

I'm not really sure what that entwining means, but usually when I push it, I can get out some pretty crazy rhythmic stuff.

I should really write those lyrics... even though I'm not that good with lyrics. They're the most work! Well, I still love vocals, so I won't be doing that much instrumentals.

Quote by cptazad
The only thing close to a complaint I have is the chorus, with a beautiful song like this please make a better chorus! And I know you can easily do it looking at the riffs you have going on in this song, its just a suggestion. I think it'd make this song that much better.


Well, originally I meant to make that chorus very heavy and not that complicated. I have an idea of what the lyrics will be and actually I wrote those guitars with that lyrical theme in mind, so... the key concept there are the lyrics... which haven't been written yet.

Quote by cptazad
The solo, **** dude, you mix speed with emotion very well. I enjoyed the solo a lot, enough to actually want to learn it which never happens with work I see on the forums. It gets even better when Solo 2 begins, great job man, pat yourself on the back =D


Mmmm... that pat feels nice.

Thank you, thank you, thank you. If you wanna learn that solo and maybe record it, I'd love to hear it. I'm learning it aswell, but I'm not that good player yet, so...

Writing solos with gp5 is something I've definately improved a lot. If you listen the solo of Mercenary melody (one of my older songs), you can definately notice the difference. In gp3 era I just stacked notes after eachother... and that certainly can work in some places, but now the solos I write are more of what I love listening.

So, if you liked this, try listening the solo in Mirages of Sun Wall. That's another one I dearly love.

Quote by cptazad
The outro is sweet too, def. brings back the intro feel to it. It's the perfect way to end a song. Think about holding the chord at the end there and letting the chord fade out. Another small detail are the drums, perhaps change it up a bit? Mix in a little bit more speed in some parts and add some weird timings, just a suggestion, in fact, even if you don't change the drums this song is great.


Hmm, I should try that hold thing out. The drums are pretty much the way I want them. And this song is more straight forward time signature -wise. But that's okay, I like it that way. I did some tricky timings in Evakkoväki and in my opinion they go there well.

But yeah, thanks again. It's a bit strange to get such a positive feedback, but since I like these songs so much myself I'm happy to hear that some people share this.
#10
Quote by DiminishedFifth
Intro: It starts off as very upbeat to me. I like the harmony you use. It accents it very well, and gives way to the next riff nicely.

Riff A: I don't know why... reminds me a bit of Avenged Sevenfold. But it's still really good. You definitely know how to write good melodies; that's for sure! Very nicely done.

Riff B: Heavier than Riff A. I like it. It's a good change of pace. The melody you use to intro into Riff C is very nice. I like it.

Riff C: I like the melody alot. Haha! This must be where the cliche's come in... cause I can definitely hear it. It still sounds really good thogh..

Verse I: I like the vocal melody and how it intertwines itself with the guitars. It's very well done.


It's strange... the intro is actually the first riff I made in this song. That's very rare... I mean usually I do some riff and end building the song up around them. This song I've build from beginning to end... but it took time... a lot of it.

I have never listened Avenged Sevenfold, but many people tell me that some of my riffs remind theirs. I should give that band I try some day.

Quote by DiminishedFifth
Pre-Chorus: I like it alot. It transitions smoothly from Verse I, and into the Break. Nothing to change here.

Break: You are definitely a master riff writer. All of your riffs and melodies are amazing. How long have you been writing stuff? I wish I could be like you in... even your drums are really good! Man, definitely my favorite part so far. You NEED to get this recorded!

Chorus: It's a typical chorus... the vocal melody would probably be more catchy if it was a real person, so i'm not going to fault it for that. But you can do better... especially with the other riffs as proof.

Riff B Reprise: Very nice. I commend you on your riff writing skills.


Thank you. I'm really speechless in front of all your praises.

A master riff writer. What can I say! I love writing riffs. Sometimes I fear that my songs have too many riffs, but once I write them... it's hard to leave anything away. I just love writing riffs, that's it. Some long chord stuff are harder for me... and that's why I'd like to combine force with some keyboard player or something. Get the best of both worlds... because I really love stuff like Pink Floyd too, where the single chords do wonders.

About the chorus... well see what I replied to cptazad

Quote by DiminishedFifth
Interlude: Intros the solo nicely.

Solo I: Very nice. You definitely know what you're doing. I can feel the emotion in it... no real wankery going on. Very nice phrasing skills you've got. You should give lessons ;]


Haa! Maybe I should. ..but I don't really know what there is to teach. I just play around with what I hear in my head. Then when I get some basic run written down I might push it over the the top or just throw some fills there to make it more interesting. If it doesn't sound good, i change it. I must like what I hear or it's not staying.

Quote by DiminishedFifth
Break: This reminds me of another riff by another band... but I can't remember what so i'll put it on hold. It's still a nice transition over into the next part.

Solo II: Alot more melodic than the first. I like it alot as well. How much time do you spend writing these things? They're really good!


Not too much... really. If I don't finish the solo once I start it, I might lose the initial feel of it. Not always. Like for an example there was like a year gap between the first and seond halves of the first solo. And it turned out pretty well. The second one however I wrote in like 15 minutes. I heard in my head what I wanted to do and played it around with ma guitar... writing it down measure after measure. It was actually meant to be just another riff, but I made it into a solo, because I wanted to play around with it more.

But really, if you wanna listen some other nice solos I've written, listen that Mirages of sun Wall and Evakkoväki... and Acts of Hatred too, though it's pretty evil.

Quote by DiminishedFifth
I know I haven't said it yet.. but I really like how the bass doesn't just... sit in the background. It has it's own melody and everything... I like that alot.

Pre-chorus/Chorus: Still good. The chorus could be more epic. I know you can do it!

Outro: I dunno.. this seems like you just wanted to end it now. It doesn't live up to the rest of the song. I think you need a more melodic outro seeing as how pretty much the whole song is very melodic.


I don't really play bass, but I always try to use it for the good of the song. I'm not really even sure if anyone's able to play those bass stuff. But really it's just not my style making all the instruments playing the exactly same thing in unison. You can propably pick that up if you look at my use of simultaneous guitar.

I didn't exactly have any plans for outro, except that I wanted to use the intro riff. Then, when I was writing that down I got this idea of just cutting it. I thought it was insanely good. Having like a 7 and a half minutes song and then just stopping it.

Quote by DiminishedFifth
You, sir, are one of the best songwriters i've ever heard. This stuff is amazing.
Seriously, 9.5/10. Just fix the outro, and you'll be a 10! You're amazing... seriously. How long have you been writing music?


Thank you. I'm really moved hearing that, because songwriting is really something I love doing. I've been writing actually from the very day that I got Guitar Pro 2.3 (I guess it was). My first songs were pretty much... garbage. The things that have developed my sense of writing... well, I've transcribed a lot of music. So in addition of developing a good ear I've learned to build those riffs. When transcribing down some amazing Iron Maiden or Dream Theater riff... you know it after that. You can do it yourself then too. It's basically the same when learning to play some songs... I guess.

Nowdays I just write what I hear in my head and then play around with it. The only true rule is, if it doesn't sound good, then change it. That's why I like listening to my own songs... because I've built them that way.

Some days I can't progress at all. I just don't get into the song... and other days they make giant leaps. They can wait months or even years... and I listen the parts that are done over and over... Then one day I just pick up my guitar and start writing it further. Some songs I finish the same day I start writing them... but sometimes I'm just lazy. The songs need to be worked through. It's work really, but often I just don't feel like writing, so I just listen to the finished riffs.

But thanks alot for your comments and praises. I gotta listen to your songs some day. I hope you don't get mad if I don't do it right away. I'm pretty busy this month.