I tried to write this song in kinda the style of new Norma Jean, Underoath. Maybe a little bit of The Chariot. I dunno what genre it is.

However my fav bit is bars 63 - 73, which sounds nothing like any of those bands. Maybe a little but Undeoath.


Hmm, intro's pretty cool, I like how the drums come in.

Bar 17 onwards = top notch, great job on that riff, its got a lot of groove to it, reminds me of Lamb of God for some reason.

I'm really liking the dissonance going on in the verse part too, the drums sound great there too, IMO you don't really need to change anything in the intro/pre verse/verse.

Bar 58, although I like the riff, I think that its overused. Just my thought on it, maybe I'm not hearing it the way it was intended to (has happened before).

All in all, a good song from start to finish, honestly, there's nothing that needs to be drastically changed here, maybe adding more layers to it would make it sound better but then it wouldn't be a simple song.

Perhaps contemplate adding an acoustic part or maybe a really creepy/cool sounding interlude using dissonance. I like these kinds of songs, they're simple, straight forward and very catchy. As a side note I don't listen to songs like these, but I should start, its obviously very catchy.


I can't believe no one has critted this yet lol

crit mine? https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1094306
Last edited by cptazad at Mar 27, 2009,
As a huge fan of this style of music, I thought this was awesome. You should definitely write more stuff like this. the breakdown at bar 66 is the perfect example of what I've been trying to accomplish, mixing electronics with that eerie anti-mother norma jean sound. I swear, I could hear Cory Brandon spazzing over this. XD

good job, don't change a thing, and keep it up.
Hey man, i'm critting the MIDI, and going as I listen, so here we go:

Beginning: I like the way the drums come in. The dissonance between the two guitars is really cool. I like the progression you use. The drums are good here as well.

0:29 - I really like this part. It's a verse i'm assuming? I like it when you slow it down. The drums give it a kind of breakdown feel, and I could definitely see people throwing down to this.

1:09 -This break is cool. I like the use of dissonance in one of the guitars almost throughout the whole thing. Interesting progression and everything. Really good. The drums are really good too.

Back to the intro... very well transitioned.

Ooh! A bass section! Very nice. I think it adds alot to the piece. The tri-tone thing that happens later is really good. I dunno why, but it really adds alot to the song.

A bass section again. I really like these. Maybe add a guitar doing like... a mini-breakdown over it?

Back to the intro... I think this time you should add a lead or something. To make it different from every other time it comes up.

The outro was very sudden, I liked it. It makes the tension and it works good.

Overall, I give it an 8/10. It's not too much my style. I don't really listen to any of the bands you mentioned, but it was defintely good; not bad. Maybe just change a few things and it'll be really good :]

I was feelin' that.
That was great. I love anything with a good rhythm and it had just that!
Okay, here goes. Be forewarned: From the sounds of it (I'll start over when I crit), it's DEFINITELY not my kind of music. But here goes.

Intro is fine. Simple, fast. Drums come in well.

Riff part is... mostly fine. When you add in that diminished fifth or whatever it is chord. It sounds sorta weird, but it sorta fits, too.

The riff at bar 13, and the following riffs with one guitar are actually not bad. Sorta funky while being heavy.

The bar 29 verse... Hm... The notes seem to kinda clash, a little. Maybe my ears just aren't quite used to this, haha. It's not BAD... just different from what I listen to.

The bar 49 chorus is basically the beginning again.

Bar 50 was orgasmic. Not going to lie.

The bridge reminded me of some sort of escape scene in movie or something, it was actually kinda cool, haha. OH man. The breakdown is great, I'll tell you that much. VERY cool thing you've got going, here.

The end chorus is basically the same as the other ones. It ends pretty well; you don't drag it out, but you don't just drop the song in its tracks.

Not bad. Not my kind of music whatsoever, but definitely not bad. 7/10.

Thanks for the crit.
Pretty decent. i loved the bass soloish thing at bar 50. it really showed off some great composing skills. the drums were a little weird even for guitar pro, but it didnt hurt the song.

for the last chorus id raise all the notes up like a whole step or something just to make it different and have it stand out a little.

this might just be me but i think maybe a guitar solo over the last chorus as well would make the song alot better. just give the computer guitar player a chance to show off haha.

some of the chords seemed a little dissonant and if thats what you were going for id tone it back just a bit. just use it at certain points during the song.

all in all a decent song 8/10

crit mine please? its in my sig.