#1
--

Tatty, worn
is the name tag that
stains the Tesco T-shirt,
hanging on a scarcrow in the
corn field of a supermarket.
a lark cannot sing
when melodies are not named;
when brackets and letters
confine a song to a radio station.
forgive forlorn,
for she is suicidal and
cannot help the way she feels inside.
it's not her fault
Sam is a man's name, too.


Digitally Clean



This is weird and was wrote in two minutes. It's got to be a record for me.
#2
Two minutes? That's very impressive... I agree it's weird but I liked it. I'm not sure so much about the first part, with the shirt. It didn't really seem to affect me in anyway. The other parts each had an affect on me in some way. I especially liked the end (it's not her fault Sam is a man's name too). I'm not sure why I liked it really. My favorite part had to be the lines about the lark and songs on the radio. Very nice. It did seem a little jumpy what with the different images being tossed together in a small space, but it wasn't disorienting. Very nice for two minutes. Would still be good for 30 minutes. Peace.
#4
Super weird, dude, but I like it. What's the point of the beginning?
Not sure why I liked it. The radio part was very good.

You need a talk?

Crit mine?
#5
had too look up what tesco was haha.

I liked this, dan. I don't like the last line much- I don't know it's just kind of there and didn't sonically connect with the rest of it. I'd like to see it more worked in than tacked on. the relationship with the title was kind of quirky. I'm iffy on it but I'm gonna say I like it overall.

Some potential here. I enjoyed it.
Anatomy Anatomy
Whale Blue Review

Park that car
Drop that phone
Sleep on the floor
Dream about me