#1
I don't even know anymore... A whole sleepless night was spent on this and what I want to know if it sounds like several intros put together or something more coherent.

~8 minutes long, just a warning. Not too much repetition either.

Anything is welcomed. Anything at all, ranging from the little sudden pauses here and there that will be cut during recording, to how bad the RSE china is. It's a rough demo, if you can call a .gp file that. I didn't bother to set the velocity and stuff, so don't comment on that and the mixing and stuff please. Just the quality of the composing.

Mostly I just want to know if this makes any sense to you. It's not experimental or anything, just a stream-of-consciousness thing where I made an overlong song with some pretty cool parts.

EDIT: Completely ignore the markers and stuff. I forgot they were there and can't be arsed to reupload.

Totally stealth edit: Also ignore the lack of bass. It won't be anything special, I'm a bad bassist.
Attachments:
kirbix's theme.zip
Last edited by kirbix at Mar 27, 2009,
#2
Well, first off, it's not a bad piece. It definitely has some really good parts. Second... you need some bass in there. If nothing, just have it do root notes... it'll add ALOT to the entire piece.

BUT! It does seem to go nowhere with those good sections. After you get passed the diminished section(s) and into the riff at Bar 63, it starts to get better. Literally, everything until Bar 62 sounds like a whole different song, and to me, it doesn't really fit with the intro (which, by the way, was really good save for one chord: the chord in Bar 3). In which it starts to sound very Power Metal-ly.

The drum fill in the intro is alright... it does it's job.

The melodies from Bars 73 to 88 are alright. They're not bad.

Then you go back to the diminished stuff, which doesn't really fit with what good stuff you had going for you. I would say scrap all the diminished stuff (or turn it into it's own song), and keep everything else.

When you slow down it's really good. Nice progression... except the randomly thrown in augmented chord. It really doesn't fit. Change it to this one (too lazy to name):


D--0-
A--1-
F--0-
C--2-
G--0-
D---


Gm7add11(?)

It sounds alot better to my ears. The solo thing is alright. Could be better, but it's on the safe side.

The best part... and this is the part that I enjoy the absolute most... is Part 2. I get shivers it's so good xD Dunno why, but definitely keep it. I like it when you do the galloping bass drums, and then the constant double pedal was really good.

For the very end, I would ring out a D5 for the remainder of the piano piece... which was good, again. But again, plagued by the same problem as the first.

Overall, not a bad piece. A bit all over the place, but not bad. The Part 2 was just... epic. Just... scrap the diminished sounding bits, and add bass (it DEFINITELY needs it), and it could potentially be a really good song.

7/10 :]

C4C?
https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1092673
#3
Sometimes a stream of consciousness is the best way to go. I enjoyed it quite a bit. Sure the song changes from one thing to another at a few points but it's not necessarily a bad thing. Piano was cool.
#4
i liked it a lot

the very end it seemed like you kinda gave up and just wanted to end it. i could imagine it going on more with what built up in part 2.

who cares if its long, as long as its good
#5
Wow... I didn't think I'd get so many positive comments. I'm all happy now.

Thank you for making the start of my day awesome.

Also, b5 (mind if I call you that?), what do you recommend for the chord in bar 3? I tried an Ammaj7 which sounds... I don't know, sounds better to me, a little experimental-ish. I'll be sure to criticize yours when I wake up a bit more.

EDIT: Ehmm... What augmented chord? Do you mean the chord at bar 148, which is Cmmaj7? It just looks augmented because of the 3-2-1 thing.
Last edited by kirbix at Mar 28, 2009,
#6
Quote by kirbix
Also, b5 (mind if I call you that?), what do you recommend for the chord in bar 3? I tried an Ammaj7 which sounds... I don't know, sounds better to me, a little experimental-ish. I'll be sure to criticize yours when I wake up a bit more.
I personally like a Bdim(M7) and then on the way down do a EbMadd9. And in case I didn't notate it right...


D--2-
A--0-
F--2-
C--3-
G----
D----


^^That chord on the way down.


EDIT: Ehmm... What augmented chord? Do you mean the chord at bar 148, which is Cmmaj7? It just looks augmented because of the 3-2-1 thing.


And yeah... that one.